While We're Young Page #9

JOSH:

Let’s have kids! Or a kid.

Something.

CORNELIA:

Did the Celestial Cow tell you this?

JOSH:

(pause)

Yeah, but that doesn’t make it anyless true.

Cornelia picks at the dry skin on her lip.

JOSH:

(re:
the houses and

pedestrians)

All these people have babies --

what’s the big deal?

CORNELIA:

I thought we’d decided... I don’twant this to be every time you take ahallucinogen you want to have a baby.

JOSH:

Not every time.

CORNELIA:

We missed our chance. I missed mychance. I’m fine with that.

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JOSH:

(pause)

The serpent suggested we could adopt.

CORNELIA:

He didn’t tell me that.

JOSH:

You don’t want to?

She slowly shakes her head. Pause. Josh notices something.

JOSH:

Is that the shaman’s Vespa?

34 INT. FLETCHER/MARINA’S BUILDING - ELEVATOR. EVE 34 *

Josh and Cornelia, dressed casually. She holds a couple oftake-out bags. Another couple, dressed up, stands next tothem holding a bag with a ribbon.

CORNELIA:

He’s been cooped up at home with ababy, and she loves these soupdumplings. This will be a greatsurprise.

JOSH:

I haven’t spoken to Fletcher for awhile. I think he’s exhausted.

CORNELIA:

(laughs)

We’ll probably be waking them up!

The doors open. Both couples exit.

35 INT. FLETCHER/MARINA BUILDING - DOORWAY/LIVING ROOM. EVE 35 *

Josh and Cornelia approach the apartment. Josh starts to

clock the other couple walking right next to them. They allreach an apartment door.

Voices and music from inside. Cornelia frowns.

He looks at the other couple who smile.

Josh rings.

Marina opens the door in a party dress, beaming and holding awhite wine. Party guests mingle behind her.

*

MARINA *

(horrified)

Cornelia...Josh.

(welcoming)

Gaby, Mike!

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CORNELIA:

Hi.

COUPLE:

You look amazing!

The other couple enters the party. Fletcher appears in thebackground loudly bantering with another guy.

FLETCHER:

...I know! I felt like I was in one

of those sci-fi movies where everyoneis ranked by intellect -

His face drops when he sees Josh and Cornelia.

FLETCHER:

Oh...f***ing sh*t...

He and Marina come out into the hallway, the door ajar behind *

them.

CORNELIA:

Did we...I guess you’re having a

thing.

MARINA *

Uh...yeah. We... God, this isembarrassing.

CORNELIA:

Is it a baby thing or...?

MARINA *

No, actually...Willow’s at mymother’s.

CORNELIA:

Oh...

JOSH:

We weren’t invited.

FLETCHER:

Well...we didn’t think...

MARINA *

Oh, God, I don’t know what to say...

Another couple appears behind Josh and Cornelia.

COUPLE #2

Hey, girly girl. You look fiiiine!

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They kiss and hand Marina a wrapped gift. *

WOMAN:

Hey Cornelia, how are you?

CORNELIA:

Fine, Grace, you?

WOMAN:

Great.

MARINA *

(to the other couple)

Come inside, there’s a full bar -

The other couple enters the apartment.

CORNELIA:

What is going on?

MARINA *

I’m sorry...we didn’t think you’d

want to come or...

JOSH:

Why?

MARINA *

Well, for one thing these are people

our own age.

CORNELIA:

Oh, come on!

FLETCHER:

And maybe you have a titseeka

ceremony or something.

JOSH:

Ayawasca! It was therapeutic. I

learned some sh*t. I think Cornelia

did too.

CORNELIA:

(awkwardly)

I did too. Learn some sh*t.

FLETCHER:

You guys were wacked out on Peruvian

mescallen, of course you’re going to

learn some sh*t. I went under during

a colonoscopy last week and I learned

some sh*t.

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JOSH:

Don’t patronize us, man.

FLETCHER:

Listen, we don’t know how else to saythis, but...we’re worried about you

guys.

MARINA *

Yeah, you know...I mean, it’s coolyou don’t want to have kids -

CORNELIA:

Don’t make this about the baby cult,

Marina. Okay? I don’t appreciate *

that kind of superior attitude. It’s

really ugly.

MARINA *

That’s not what I’m saying! I can’t

help it if I want you to have kids.

FLETCHER:

We think you guys would really

benefit from it. That’s all.

CORNELIA:

(suddenly emotional)

But you don’t realize howinappropriate it is to say it likeyou say it. Not everyone wants ababy! Not everyone can have one allthe time!

COUPLE (O.S.)

Hi sexy lady!

Yet another couple, Elise and her husband, arrives, kissesMarina and Fletcher. *

MARINA *

(smiling hostess)

Elise! Come in! Come in!

They enter. Marina brings her voice down: *

MARINA *

Since we’ve had the baby, I feel youpulling away, Cornelia. I just do.

CORNELIA FLETCHER

I went to a f***ing baby (to Josh)

music class with you! Do you What’s with the hat?

know how humiliating that is?

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What?

JOSH:

FLETCHER:

You look like a**holes we

went to highschool with whowould cruise by the prom butnot go in.

MARINA:

Why is it humiliating?

is my life now!

This

*

MARINA:

(getting emotional)

It can be very isolating and lonelywhen you have a kid.

*

CORNELIA:

(re:
the crowd inside)

Yeah, I can tell.

FLETCHER:

We’re old men, Josh.

JOSH:

Speak for yourself.

FLETCHER:

You’re an old man with a hat.

CORNELIA:

(sadly)

Let’s go, Josh.

FLETCHER:

Stay, you’re here...come in.

JOSH:

(emphatic)

There is no way we’re coming in.

CUT TO:

36 INT. FLETCHER/MARINA APT. - LIVING ROOM. EVE 36 *

Inside the APARTMENT. Josh and Cornelia sit alone by thewindow. People are laughing, talking loudly. Cornelia downs

her wine in one. Josh looks furious.

JAMIE (V.O.)

(sings)

“You’re playing Nintendo.”

37 INT. JAMIE’S CAR. DAY 37

Jamie drives, Josh next to him. Cornelia, Darby and Tipper,

who wears a T-shirt that reads: Some Crappy Band, aresqueezed in the back. Jamie sings and Tipper responds:

59.

TIPPER:

(sings)

“That’s not what I’m doing, that’s

not what I’m doing.”

JAMIE TIPPER:

“You’re surfing the web.” “That’s not what I’m doing,

that’s not what I’m doing.”

JAMIE TIPPER:

“You’re crying your eyesout.”

“That’s not what I’m doing,

that’s not what I’m doing.”

TIPPER:

(she beats the back ofJosh’s seat three times)

“I’m making a sandwich!”

Both of them, flush and beaming look around the car.

JOSH:

Nice.

CORNELIA:

(trying to be positive)

Fun.

Darby grumbles. She turns to Cornelia.

DARBY:

Connecticut has the best thrifting.

He’ll drop us off before they dotheir filming.

JAMIE:

Tipper and I started a band calledCookie O’Puss. Have you seen that onYouTube?

JOSH:

(a bit annoyed)

That was a commercial when I was a

kid.

JAMIE:

It’s f***ing hilarious.

JOSH:

(trying to own it)

I know, we used to always do hisvoice.

TIPPER:

“My name is Cookie O’Puss!”

60.

JOSH:

(trying to do it first)

“My name is Cookie O’Puss.”

JAMIE JOSH:

“My name is Cookie O’Puss.” Right.

JAMIE:

It’s the name of our band.

38 EXT. POUGHKEEPSIE STREET. DAY 38

Josh films Jamie as he gets out of the car. Tipper films thehouse.

JAMIE:

He was this kind of amazingcombination of jock and brain and hecould sing, he was in the acapellagroup called the Night Owls. I mean

kind of the perfect guy.

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