White Dog

- What's his name?

- I don't know. He's not my dog.

I was driving through the hills,

and I hit him.

It was really dark.

Well, you brought him in.

You'll have to pay the bill.

Of course I brought him in.

I hit him. It was my fault.

- What do you do?

- I'm an actress.

You act for nothing?

I didn't say I wouldn't pay.

Of course I will pay the bill.

- How much is it?

- $218.

That includes inoculation,

medicine and after-hour fees.

- Do you take credit cards?

- All of them.

- He's gonna be okay, isn't he?

- Oh, yeah.

He'll be fit to take him home with you.

Or board him here for the night for $25.

Well, I think somebody

must be looking for him.

I suggest you take him to the pound,

unless you want to keep him.

Is the pound

where you find lost animals?

Yes, but if the owner doesn't claim him

in three days, he'll be put to sleep.

- You mean they'd kill him?

- Yes.

Well, maybe somebody

at the pound will adopt him.

Not this dog.

Why not?

He's beautiful and he's strong.

He'd be a great family dog.

Well, don't let his looks fool you.

He's too old to adopt.

They only adopt

cute, little puppies at the pound.

Well, isn't there someplace

where someone will want him?

No. S.P.C.A.

Send in a photo of him

to list with "dog found"...

and the owner will find you

if he checks with them.

And put up posters in the area

where you hit him.

And make sure you state

you want a reward.

- Why a reward?

- You want your money back, don't you?

Push two penicillin pills

down his throat twice a day...

until the owner contacts you.

- Down his throat?

- All the way down.

Take your pill.

Open the mouth.

Take the pill.

Quit spittin' it out. Come on.

This is really good for you.

You have to take it.

All right. Forget it.

Come on. Come on.

Sit down. There you go.

I got the camera.

Okay. Look at me.

Come on.

Look at this. Right here. Come on.

Yeah. Yeah, that's good.

Right there!

Oh, oh, that's great. Look at me.

Oh, that's gonna be a good one.

This is not gonna hurt you.

What are you doing?

Listen. You're a single girl...

living all by yourself up in the hills.

That is dangerous, Miss Julie.

I know.

But I like living alone.

You know, for an intelligent girl...

sometimes you're not very bright.

Look, if you won't let me move in

with you, at least keep the dog.

- You'll have a bodyguard.

- Bodyguard.

That's cute.

No, it wouldn't be fair,

to me or the dog.

Once you have a dog, you end up spending

more time with the dog, taking care of it...

and not concentrating on your work.

Ah, wait a minute. If that's true, how come

every time I see a picture of a big star...

she's always surrounded

by three or four dogs, huh?

They're rentals.

- They are.

- You cynic.

You fight me, I'll kill you.

That was a swell bunch.

I'm glad to have been able to serve.

...to tell you that we were

going out to bring back help.

Operator, give me the police.

Same damn rapist I nailed last year.

Okay, we'll read your rights.

You're lucky to have a dog like that,

young lady.

- All done, Miss Sawyer.

- Thanks.

Look what we got!

A new window.

Okay. Time to play.

Roland, the screen test went great!

I think I've got it.

They're gonna see it tomorrow.

Well, good. Good for you.

You deserve it.

How you feeling?

You still have the shakes?

Well, a little bit, here and there.

How are your arms?

How are the bruises?

Well, they covered it up with makeup.

Good. I hope they put

that son of a b*tch away for life.

Let's not talk about that anymore.

- No one called to claim the dog.

- Good.

Listen, beauty, about tonight...

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cancel.

I've got a meeting

with that producer, and it's...

looks like he may give me a chance

to direct my own damn script.

No!

Roland, let me call you right back.

The dog got into my laundry and made

a big mess. Let me call you right back.

Hey! What are you doin'?

Those are my underwear, not yours!

Give me those.

Give me that! Give me that!

Give me my underwear!

Give me that! Give it up!

Such a sick dog.

They're mine! Give me that!

They're mine, you little twit.

Clementine! Have you seen

a white German shepherd?

No, I haven't, Julie.

Los Angeles Animal Shelter.

- Is this the pound?

- This is the animal shelter. May I help you?

I lost a dog.

A white German shepherd. He's a male.

What's the tag number?

He lost his tag.

- Well, what's the number?

- I don't know.

I thought maybe you people

picked him up.

Our last pickup truck comes in

around 5:
00.

Maybe he's too big for the apartment.

Snuffy. Snuffy?

- Is that him?

- No.

Snuffy?

- Billy, get away from there.

- I don't see him in the other one either.

Is that him?

That's not him.

Here, sir. Sir?

- Is that all of them?

- That's all of them.

Sorry, folks. Maybe your animal

will be in tomorrow's pickup.

Julie. Terrible news.

- I'll find him.

- Find who?

What's your terrible news?

They picked Jessica Drummond for the part.

I just got it from the boss.

But they haven't seen my test yet.

She had it locked in from the start.

Tough luck, Julie.

They haven't seen my test.

Give me the police.

You scared the sh*t out of me,

you little sh*t!

Look at you. You're a mess. Huh?

Did you get in a fight?

Look at this.

It's okay.

What did you do to yourself?

Bless you.

- I think I'm gonna write a dog story.

- Yeah? Write about my dog.

"My dog"?

Well, why not? Maybe if I write

about him, they'll let me direct it.

And star both of us.

Then I could work.

You working tomorrow?

Yeah. Molly and I play stewardesses

sightseeing in a gondola.

- Oh, good. You got any lines?

- Two, and they're very boring.

Very boring.

Look, if we're supposed to be celebrating

return of the lone wolf, why are you so down?

Is it 'cause you didn't get the role?

Darlin', she is not the first girl...

to have a role locked in

right from the start.

But I could have done something

with that part.

I know.

- They didn't even look at my test.

- What was it, 20 seconds?

Fifteen.

What can you do in 15 seconds, huh?

Nothing.

- What's in the middle of a bagel?

- Nothing.

Then why are we wasting

our time and good wine...

talking about nothing, huh?

I don't know.

Could we maybe put him outside?

Why?

All right. I'll put him outside.

Come back here. Come here.

Get off the couch.

Come on. You're makin' a mess.

Come on. Get off! Come on.

Watch the feet!

- I'm never gonna play the violin again.

- What are you doin'?

Oh, that must hurt.

You're in the picture. Back it off.

- You look beautiful.

- Step out of the way, okay?

You're all set now

on what you're supposed to do, huh?

Okay. Terrific.

The boat's gonna rock a little bit,

so don't let that throw you, okay?

Yeah. Don't go overboard.

I want it on the record, Herb.

I'm shooting this under protest.

It's out of sync.

I'm getting nothing but flicker.

In France they call that "artistic."

As Truffaut would say, "formidable."

Stand by for picture!

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