White Men Can't Jump Page #4

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You got

a fine woman.

Keep your hands off her.

I said she was fine.

I didn't say I was

going to touch her.

Touch her,

I'll kick your ass.

You hear me?

Ho ho.

Ho ho ho!

Looky, looky, looky.

It's all starting

to come clear, isn't it?

Good.

You're a cool customer

on the court,

real chill

out on the street,

can't be rattled

in your game.

You don't even fall

for that n*gger sh*t.

But when it comes to

your woman,

that's a different

matter altogether.

Look at you.

I ain't talked trash or pushed up

on the sister,

and you already

thinking about it.

Shut the f*** up.

But this is good.

This is really

good sh*t to know.

I know

your weakness.

You like all the white boys

I ever met.

You're like every brother

I ever saw.

You'd rather look good

and lose than look bad and win.

You don't know sh*t

about me.

I know plenty

about you, Sidney.

How many dinners this chain

set your family back?

Just go home,

get some rest.

OK, Brady Bunch?

I ain't tired.

Bye, Gloria.

Oh, goodbye.

It was nice

seeing you again.

Oh, same here.

I like these rings.

They kind of fly.

Thank you!

Take care.

Yo, Billy, tomorrow we goin'

to 103rd street.

We goin' to hustle out there.

That's Watts.

Tough games out there.

Big bucks.

Mm-hmm.

Don't take it

personally, baby.

We teammates.

Ebony and ivory.

Ha ha ha!

Hey, I got

your partner.

Oh, right. F*** me.

Better get your ass across La Brea

before sundown.

No problem.

The guy's full of sh*t.

Here.

Well, I say love

Whoa, love

Would somebody

explain to me

why this Negro is singing

cowboy music?

You know this is

my favorite song.

It makes me think about

making love to you.

It makes me want to

lock you in a room

and make love to you

over and over

and over and over.

I didn't say

I didn't like it.

Yeah?

This can't be safe.

You know, I believe

in safe sex, honey.

For you to hurt me...

I want to

take a shower.

Honey, no! No!

No, honey! Stop!

I want you to know

That I was blind,

but now I see

I say, I once was blind

But now I see

Well, you know,

I once

Was blind

But now I see

That that old love

has made a fool of me

Honey?

My mouth is dry.

Honey, I'm thirsty.

Umm...

There you go, honey.

When I said

I was thirsty,

it doesn't mean

I want a glass of water.

It doesn't?

You're missing

the whole point

of me saying

I'm thirsty.

If I have a problem,

you're not supposed to solve it.

Men always make the mistake

of thinking

they can solve

a woman's problem.

It makes them feel

omnipotent.

Omnipotent?

Did you have

a bad dream?

It's a way

of controlling a woman.

Bringing them

a glass of water?

Yes.

I read it

in a magazine.

See, if I'm thirsty,

I don't want

a glass of water.

I want you

to sympathize.

I want you to say,

"Gloria, I, too,

know what it feels like to be thirsty.

"I, too,

have had a dry mouth."

I want you to

connect with me

through sharing

and understanding

the concept

of dry mouthedness.

This is all

in the same magazine?

You're into control.

Shut up.

See?

You make me sick.

Don't give me

the rollover.

When I say I'm thirsty,

it means if anybody

has a glass of water,

I'd love a sip.

When I say I want to

make love,

it means, let's screw.

Exactly the kind of thing

I thought you'd say!

I don't like

the word "screw," OK?

I prefer "make love"

or "f***."

Screwing is

for carpenters.

Oh, you're

going to get it.

Oh, honey.

Ohh!

Where you going?

Anywhere...

to get the hell

away from you.

Psycho,

chiquita nut case.

Oh, come back!

I want to make love!

Honey, come back!

I want to screw!

Ah. Forget you, then.

Piece of sh*t.

A**hole.

Look! There he is.

Honey!

The Stuccis!

The Stuccis?

Oh!

Honey, hurry!

How did they find us?

The money!

All right!

All right!

I got the money!

I got the money!

OK, OK.

If you wanna try

the front door

That's a door

I've never seen

Go, honey! Come on!

I'm coming, honey!

Go! Come on!

Go! Go! Go!

Slow up!

Slow up!

Wait for me!

Wait for me!

How come you're

moving so slow?

I'm carrying everything.

You want me to

carry you, too?

Oh, sh*t!

Come on!

Come on, honey!

We'd shoot you, Billy,

But first

we want the money!

We've got your number

now, Billy.

Get in my limo, baby

Gonna take you

for a ride

And I tell you

I'm a rich man

Then you tell me

that I lie

Hurry up!

Go! Go! Go!

Blueberry

Tonga Sherry

Evie lvy over

Mama's in the kitchen

cookin' rock

Daddy's outside

shooting duck

Baby in the cradle

fast asleep

And here comes sister

with the hlt...

This is

a great house,

great house.

But the number's a little steep

right now.

Sidney,

we got to talk.

Excuse me.

Jack be quick

Jack jump over

the candlestick

Baby,

I want this house.

Baby, I know.

I want the house, too,

but it's expensive.

They want first,

last, damages.

I'll get a job.

No, no, baby.

I got lots of jobs...

The cable thing, the roof thing,

the paint thing.

Construction is

a little slow,

but basketball is

putting food on the table.

Basketball isn't

a real job.

I got to go.

I'm working on

this new shot.

I'm sure it's

a gorgeous shot,

but I still

want this house.

OK?

OK.

OK?

Gotta give 'em

what they need

Area code

Oh, yeah

Area code

Pass the ball!

Foul! Foul!

No! All ball!

No foul!

No. Your hand is

part of the ball.

The wrist is a part

of the hand.

Knee bone's connected

to the dick bone.

You fouled Robert.

You didn't see

the play!

You couldn't carry my jockstrap

in a suitcase.

I thought this

was Watts.

Thought you had

some ballplayers here.

This ain't

jack sh*t!

I'm tired of

looking at you.

Your mother threw you out

at an early age.

Talking about

your mama.

Nobody talks about

my mother.

Don't ever talk

about my mama.

Me and any guy here

will take you.

How much you

want to roll?

Oh, my God!

Oh! What is this?

Oh! Look at this!

It's $1,000!

There could be more.

Hold on.

Hold on a second.

Did you rob

a 7-Eleven?

11, 12, 13.

Is there some more?

14, 15, honey.

Your rent money?

16!

Ooh!

It's coming

from everywhere.

17! $1,700, baby.

We get to pick

your partner.

Pick any

of these stiffs here.

Anybody. $1,700.

Don't talk

about my mother.

How about right here?

No, no, no, no.

I want that guy.

The white boy

getting off the train?

That scraggly-looking

one.

Ha ha ha ha!

No, no, no, no.

F*** that.

Wait a minute.

I got 800.

Just cashed my rent check.

I got 50 bucks.

Come up with 1,700,

or take a walk.

Play us

for what we got.

Play a tune

on your bald head.

Hold on.

Sweetheart,

how you doing?

What's up?

You look so good.

What's up, baby?

I need the diamond.

I told you

he was no good.

You gave me this

for Christmas.

I'll give you two.

We'll go to Zales

after this.

- Do you listen to me?

- No.

He's a dog! D-O-G!

This ain't no diamond!

This is a zircon!

I'll tell you what.

This sh*t here is

worth 300 bills, right?

I'll put my 1,700

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