Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

- Good night.

- Good night.

- It's 2:
00 in the morning.

- Oh, George.

Well, it is.

What a cluck.

What a cluck you are.

It's late, you know. It's late.

No kidding.

What a dump.

Hey, what's that from? "What a dump!"

How would I know?

Oh, come on, what's it from?

You know.

Martha.

What's it from, for chrissake?

What's what from?

I just told you. I just did it.

"What a dump!"

- What's that from?

- I haven't the faintest idea.

Dumbbell.

It's from some damn

Bette Davis picture...

...some goddamn Warner Bros. Epic.

Martha, I can't remember all the pictures

that came out of Warner Bros.

Nobody's asking you to remember

every goddamn Warner Bros. Epic.

Just one. Just one single little epic.

That's all.

Bette Davis gets peritonitis at the end.

She wears this black fright wig

throughout the picture.

And she's married to Joseph Cotten

or something.

- Somebody.

- Somebody.

And she wants to go to Chicago

all the time...

...because she loves that actor

with the scar.

But she gets sick, and she

sits down in front of her dressing table...

What actor? What scar?

I can't remember his name,

for God's sake. What's the picture?

I want to know

what the name of the picture is.

She gets this peritonitis...

...but she decides to go

to Chicago anyway. And...

Chicago. It's called Chicago.

What? What is?

I mean the picture.

It's called Chicago.

Oh, good grief.

Don't you know anything?

Chicago was a '30s musical...

...starring little Miss Alice Faye.

Don't you know anything?

This picture...

...Bette Davis comes home from

a hard day at the grocery store...

She works in a grocery store?

She's a housewife. She buys things.

She comes home with the groceries...

...and she walks into

the modest living room...

...of the modest cottage

modest Joseph Cotten set her up in.

- Are they married?

- And...

Yes, they're married.

To each other, cluck.

And she comes in,

and she looks around this room...

...and she sets down her groceries.

And she says:

"What a dump!"

She's discontent.

Well, what's the name of the picture?

I really don't know, Martha.

Well, think!

Well, I'm tired, dear. It's late.

I don't know what you're tired about.

You didn't do anything today.

- I'm tired.

- You didn't have any classes.

Well, if your father didn't set up

these damned Saturday-night orgies...

That's just too bad about you, George.

Well, that's how it is anyway.

You didn't do anything.

You never do anything. You never mix.

You just sit around and talk.

Well, what do you want me to do? Bray

at everyone all night, the way you do?

I don't bray!

All right, you don't bray.

I did not bray.

I said you didn't bray.

Fix me a drink.

Haven't you had enough?

I said, fix me a drink.

Well, I don't suppose a nightcap

would kill either one of us.

A nightcap? Are you kidding?

We've got guests.

We've got what?

Guests. Guests.

Guests.

Yeah, guests. People.

We've got guests coming over.

When?

Now.

Good Lord, Martha,

do you know what time it is?

Yeah.

- Who's coming over?

- What's-their-name.

- Who?

- What's-their-name!

Who's what's-their-name?

I don't know their name, George.

You met them tonight. They're new. He's

in the Math Department or something.

I don't remember

meeting anybody tonight.

Well, you did.

Of all the asinine...

Who are these people?

- He's in the Math Department.

- Who?

He's in the Math Department.

He's young and he's blond.

He's good-looking, well-built?

Yes, good-looking, well-built.

- It figures.

- What?

Nothing. Nothing.

His wife's a mousy little type

without any hips or anything.

Do you remember them now?

I guess so. But why in hell

do they have to come over here now?

Because Daddy said

we should be nice to them.

- That's why.

- For God's sake.

- Daddy said we should be nice to them.

- But why now?

Because Daddy said

we should be nice to them.

I'm sure he didn't mean we were

supposed to stay up all night with them.

We could have them over

some Sunday or something.

Well, never mind.

Besides, it is Sunday.

Very early Sunday.

- It's ridiculous.

- Well, it's done.

Okay, where are they?

If we've got guests, where are they?

They'll be here soon.

What'd they do, go home and

get some sleep first or something?

They'll be here.

I wish you'd tell me about things

sometimes.

I wish you'd stop springing things on me

all the time.

- I don't spring things on you all the time.

- Yes, you do.

You really do.

You're always springing things on me.

- Oh, George.

- Always.

Poor Georgie Porgie, put-upon pie.

What are you doing? Are you sulking?

Let me see. Are you sulking?

Is that what you're doing?

Never mind.

Just don't bother yourself.

Hey.

- Hey.

- What?

Who 's afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Virginia Woolf, Virginia Woolf?

Who 's afraid of Virginia Woolf?

What's the matter?

Didn't you think that was funny?

- I thought it was a scream.

- It was all right.

You laughed when you heard it

at the party.

- I smiled. I didn't laugh my head off.

- You laughed your goddamn head off.

- It was all right.

- It was a scream.

It was very funny, yes.

You make me puke.

- What?

- You make me puke.

- Wasn't a very nice thing to say, Martha.

- That wasn't what?

A very nice thing to say.

Oh, I like your anger.

I think that's what I like

about you most.

Your anger.

You are such a simp.

You haven't even got the...

The what?

Guts?

Phrasemaker.

You never put any ice in my drink.

Why is that, huh?

I always put ice in your drinks, Martha.

You eat it, that's all.

It's this habit you've got of chewing

on your ice cubes like a cocker spaniel.

You'll crack your big teeth.

Well, they're my big teeth.

Yeah, some of them, some of them.

- I've got more teeth than you have.

- Two more.

Well, you're going bald.

So are you.

Hello, honey.

Hey, go on,

give your mommy a big sloppy kiss.

- No.

- I want a big sloppy kiss.

I don't wanna kiss you

right now, Martha.

Where are these people

you invited over?

Where is this good-looking, well-built

young man and his slim-hipped wife?

Stayed on to talk to Daddy.

They'll be here.

Why didn't you want to kiss me?

George?

- George?

- Yes, love?

Why didn't you want to kiss me?

Well, dear, if I kissed you I'd get

all excited. I'd get beside myself...

...and then I'd have to take you by force,

right here on the living-room rug.

And our little guests

would walk in...

...and, well, what would

your father say about that?

Oh, you pig.

Fix me another drink, lover.

My God, you can swill it down,

can't you?

- Well, I'm thirsty.

- Oh, Jesus.

Look, sweetheart, I can drink you

under any table you want...

...so don't worry about me.

I gave you the prize years ago, Martha.

There isn't an abomination award going

that you haven't won.

I swear if you existed, I'd divorce you.

- Just stay on your feet for your guests.

- I can't even see you.

If you pass out or throw up...

And try to keep your clothes on too.

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