Who's Your Daddy? Page #5

What are you doing?

- Nice.

Cheesy..

Oh, give me this.

I just stopped by to check on you.

And all this week has been pretty crazy.

I mean, you're just a kid, and now you..

- Wait.. I'm not a kid..

I'm a man.

- I'm sorry, you're absolutely right.

But you know, no matter how old someone is,

this kind of change in lifestyle can be pretty jolly.

I guess I'll try my hardest getting used to

be a multi- millionaire.

If you ever need anybody to talk to, I just

want you to know that I am always here.

By "talking", you mean..

- You are barking up the wrong tree, cowboy.

Look, I'm a rich 18 year old virgin.

That makes me grade A prime USDA Beefcake.

We're talking zero chances of mad cow desease, baby.

- Well, this is not going to happen.

You are a great guy, and there's some great

girl out there for you.

Me.. I'm just a fantasy.

And you know all that for the right girl.

Can we snuggle?

- Sure.

Make it?

- What did I just tell you? Give me this remote.

I was wondering when you'd show up, big boy.

- Then tonight's your lucky night.

Adam? You surprised me.

I saw the way you eyed me at the club.

Maybe it's time I bump you.

That's really sweet, I'm overwhelmed.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Or at the very least, you can stalk someone

enough until they panic and give it up.

Where's Chris?

- Who knows? Who cares?

Tonight's about us.

Una noche de I'amour.

I saw Titanic a bunch of times.

I cried.

Did you?

If I gave you a good night kiss..

..would you tell me what Chris' favourite gifts

might be?

Yes, I think that's an excellent trade.

- Come on then, before I change my mind.

I think that's mine. I'm so sorry.

How's it going?

- Like sucking on anaconda's dick.

Where's your uncle?

- Thankfully, he's meeting with the board of directors on my behalf.

You let uncle Duncay go by himself?

- No, Mike Hunt volunteered to go with him.

Chris, It's not my place to say anything,

but your uncle and Hunt..

Brookes, say whatever you want to say.

- They're a couple of b*tch- ass thieves.

Duncan wants Heaven for himself, he's

just waiting for you to f*** it up.

You're wrong, this is my uncle we're talking about. My

dad trusted him, and I don't see no reason why I shouldn't.

Yea, well, you're the boss.

- Yea I am! And don't you forget that!

Hey Chris. Are you.. indecent?

I bought you a little present.

- That's totally cool of you.

I didn't get you anything.

- It's ok, you will.

I hope you'll like it.

You don't see this every day.

- I do. Oh Chris!

What are you doing?

- I'm getting ready to show you how to use your dick.

Let's watch a movie.

- Get your man thing out and let's get down to business.

Wait! Stop it! Shouldn't I meet your parents

first?

Kinky.. me like it..

You're not legit to anything, are you?

Why did you ask that?

- I like to use a lot of props. Come to mama.

Chris... Chris? Chris!

Heather, what the hell did you do?

What do you think I did?

- You should be ashamed of yourself, he's just a boy.

A boy worth a billion dollars.

Don't tell me you haven't thought about it.

I cannot believe you had sex with him,

especially with his condition.

Condition? What condition?

Herpes, measles, crabs, hepatitis, ... pink eye.

Pink eye? Gross.

Actually, nothing happened.

He passed out on me, thank god.

If he asks for me, tell him I've..

You know what? Why don't you just go, okay?

We'll take care of it.

Are you sure? Thank you.

You guys are the best.

WELCOME HOME CHRIS Beverly, remember. When Chris gets home, no

special treatment. He's still grounded.

Yes dear, we should consider cutting his allowance.

That'll teach him a lesson.

Spring Fling

Hello? Hello?

So lovely you could make it.

Hi! I didn't know you're gonna be here.

Hi. Bonjour. Guttentagen.

You're looking fine. You're

looking hot. Whazzup biatch?

The magazine looks great. I was thinking, maybe

I could help you out with it when we get married?

Hi Chris, I love you so much.

You're so cute, and sexy.

Chris, I'd love to go to Mexico with you.

Chris, I'm so glad I met you cousins.

Hi.

I was just..

You look great.

Love crousages. Did you know "crousage"

is french?

Ok, don't forget to have your pictures taken.

Go Porcupines!

Good chat.

Stand on the X, chin up, smile.

Next.

Stand on the X, chin up, smile.

Geeks!

- Yea, I want you baby, yea!

Ok, next song.

Everyone, check out the football field!

You're not gonna believe it!

Oh, awesome. Since I have your attention,

my name's Murphy.

Who cares?

I've pretty much gone to school with all of you

since elementary school.

And I thought tonight might be a good time

to get to know eachother.

Hello Xenia!

Anyone else see them walking slow?

- What's up, Chris? - Good to see you!

Thanks for the drive-by.

Hey Chris. You're looking good.

- Tell me something I don't know, Chiquita.

I've been thinking about you ever since you said my

name on TV. Do you really think of me as your girlfriend?

Did I stutter when I said it?

Welcome back, Hughes. I see we've moved

just beyond blowing off dead lines.

Hey Katie. It's all good to be back and keeping

it real with my people.

How does it feel to be a smud-peddler?

New prince of porn.

Artistic nudes. And you wanna know something?

It feels pretty damn good.

Maybe with your money, you can buy yourself

some common sense.

What's wrong with you, Katie?

- Gee, I don't know.. A**HOLE!

You were supposed to be her date tonight.

Smooth move, Mr. Iglesias.

Chris wants to dance with women, who have

dumps like a truck.

I thought you'd never ask.

- Chris wants the other Angels to join us.

Good idea! Ladies, Chris and I would like you to join

us on the dancefloor to help celebrate our togetherness.

Oh, and feel free to bring your little

black buddy.

How about I feel free to hang my foot out of

your ass?

Go Chris!

Go Chris! Go Chris!

Thank you, Jesus.

Get up off the floor, son. Have you lost

your marbles in your mind?

Hi boys. I'll be out in a minute.

- No problem.

And you would be..?

- Naked, wet and soapy.

Danny, invert your eyes, son!

Get out! Danny, stop looking!

Sorry, Miss..?

- May. Now, if you don't mind..

Ofcourse.

By the way, there's towels there if you

should need them.

And a hairdryer there.

- Bye.

I got in last night. They needed a place to sleep, so

I said they could stay here. Shoot me for beeing kind.

Son, we're just glad you're home, safe and sound. Now maybe

we can put all this pornography business behind us and..

..start all over.

So, you're back to beeing grounded.

Anyone for panacakes? - Grounded!?

Sometimes, you both are so very.. Xenia.

Good morning, girls.

What can I make you? Would you like some

bacon and cheese omlettes?

Why don't you ease up on your SLEE-P-TIME,

now that your flu is over?

Honey, stop screwing like a one legged eskimo,

you're not the one to criticise.

Angels, time to go. I'll drop you off at the airport on the way to school.

- Mr. Mack, the car's ready when you are.

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