Who's Your Daddy? Page #6

Who the hell are you? What the hell are you all

doing in my house, and since when were you Mr. Mack?

This is Brookes, he works for me.

And I was born Mack.

This package came from the board of directors

and it is marked "urgent".

Yes, about the up-comming issue.

I'll make sure he gets it.

- I prefer to give it to him myself.

Young Chrissy will get his package.

I promise you.

I gotta go, I'll see you in class. Can your little

Britney get some cash?

Working on your big words, Brittany?

Thanks.

Hughes, you promised a school paper interview.

Is this afternoon ok?

Interview.. right.. this afternoon?

- No good. How about next tuesday?

Chris, I realize who you are and all, but I have

a paper to run here.. dead lines..

Katie, I'd like to help, really, but certainly you can appreciate

that while you have a subscriber base of 300 free readers, and I have..

You do the math. So, today's a no go.

But I can send you a couple of signed photos.

I'm wearing a turtle neck. - You're pathetic.

What was I thinking?

You tell Mr. Mack to forget about the interview.

And also, he's fired from the newspaper.

What did she say? Fired? That's funny. Katie,

I can buy your crappy paper.

I can buy this town, this school.

I can buy you.

You're wrong. I think I'm the only thing around

here that's probably not for sale.

And for the record, I haven't been Katie since

6th grade, when you kissed me on the sea.

It's Kate!

That went well.

Chris.

Chris!

My parents will be out of town tomorrow night. Why

don't you come over and check out my new bikini?

I'll pencil you in.

If we take a fraction of the number and

divide it into quarters.. Mr. Hughes?

Beats me. Algebra has never really been

my thing.

I'm a lover, not a calculator.

Mr. Hughes, this is important.

Perhaps you might wanna apply yourself here,

you'll find Algebra to be an important part

of any business.

I agree. That's why I pay the people

to know it. I'm a big picture guy.

Leave the details to the math club losers.

Mr. Hughes, I understand that your life has

undergone some significant changes,

but without an education, son, the ability that you

really succeed in this world is greatly hampered.

Define success. I'm worth half a billion dollars. I'm chairman

of one of the largest media conglomerates on the planet.

All without passing your lousy algebra class.

I'm set for life, that's success.

Time's up.

Good lecture though.

By the way, I noticed your subscription

to Heaven was getting ready to laps.

Next year's on me.

Can I get some Washington's,

Franklin's and Nixon's?

Jane wants to do a feature on you.

- If it's a cover story, I'll pass.

Well, Miss Harding left a couple of messages.

She says it's urgent.

Miss Harding doesn't tell me what's urgent,

I tell her what's urgent.

Besides, It's all lame paper work bullshit anyway.

Uncle Duncay and Mike Hunt have to deal with it.

Your mother, not the dead one, but the one in

her sleepy time.. her birthday is today.

Organise a dinner, send flowers, get a present.

Make it personal.

Chris, this is the best chinese-american birthday

I've ever had.

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday, Beverly!

Happy birthday, mother.

My favourite:
summer sausage.

Yummy, yummy!

Dildo.

You gave my mom a dildo?

- You said "make it personal".

Jesus, what is this?

- Dad, relax, it's on me.

Chris, that is absolutely unacceptable. Money

does not grow on trees. -Relax, Carlie.

Let the bill at him.

Your credit card is no good.

- That's impossible, I'm a billionaire.

You are broken. Who will pay for meal?

- This is a mistake. Run it again.

Here, I'll pay.

This one's on dad.

- Thanks dad.

Someone is gonna get fired for this.

- It's not gonna be me, I'm your dad.

Sh*t! I was gonna go see Brittany tonight.

- Watch your language! -Happy birthday mom.

Look at you, little man. You're looking good.

Show what a man you are.

Those are "Magnum's".

Don't loose yourself in there.

Hey sexy.

I was getting worried you weren't coming.

Chris Hughes Mack never misses a chance

to.. come.

Anytime, anyplace.

- Great.

Sucker?

I have the whole place set up.

This is gonna be a night that neither one

of us will ever forget.

And I'm just so glad it's with you.

So I think you know everyone.

So I thought we'd take a few preliminary

photos here..

..and I guess you'll fly me out to Los Angeles

for my main photo shoot.

Do I need an agent?

- This is all about your modelling career?

No, silly. Modelling leads to acting, and acting

leads to be on a game show.

I gotta go.

- What about my photo shoot?

Fix it! If you don't fix it, start looking for

another job!

Chris, I need to talk to you.

- Morons! I am dealing with complete morons.

Apparently, next month's issue has been scrapped.

It's not gonna make it to the stands on time.

Someone forgot to get their sh*t together and

authorize all the photographic and editorial content.

I was thinking a lot about us.

- Those a**holes are blaming me.

Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll figure something out.

- They froze my accounts.

I don't have any access to any of my money.

I could lose everything.

Would that be so bad? A few weeks ago, you

didn't have any of it.

Life is ok. You, me, Scooter, Murphy, even

Doyle. We had some good times.

I'm about to lose a major financial empire,

and you're here to remember me about the past?

That's the difference between you and me. I

see the big picture, you don't see any picture!

You really are an a**hole.

- Chris, over here, I saved you a seat.

i'll be right there, ok?

- No, no! You better hurry up.

I don't want to take your hard earned

popularity.

You're the new Hudson.

I left messages for my uncle repeatedly, ok?

I don't give a sh*t, find him!

It's my company, ok? It's mine!

So sorry, Mr. Hughes will have to call you

back.

He's in a big meeting discussing merging his

big ass with my foot.

No deal! No deal!

Guess this is one of those fancy new digital

phones, huh?

Fight! Fight!

- Get up, p*ssy, fight!

Get up! Come on, richy b*tch, get up before I

piss all over your face.

You might wanna get up, Chris. Someone

pissing on your face is never pleasant.

Where's the helicopter now, huh?

- Don't be stupid, ok? Just lie there.

You get up this second and kick Hudson's ass!

You're embarassing me. - Shut up, Brittany!

Yea, shut up Brittany!

- Just get up, dick-lick!

Aaa, mommy!

Mr. Mack, was this p*ssy trying to clown you?

- As a matter of fact, he was.

Stop, you're breaking my hand, man.

- You see, Mr. Mack is a good friend of mine.

So stop bullying him. Now, If I hear that you even look at Mr. Mack

again, I'm gonna come into your house, late at night, while you're asleep,

rip off your little dick and f*** you with it!

Are we clear?

Goot talking to you, b*tch-ass.

Chris!

- Not now, Brittany.

Ah, young Chris, just the lad we were

hoping to see.

Uncle Duncay, Mike Hunt..

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