Wishin' and Hopin' Page #5

Wow, Felix.

Your cousin real big shot

in the Hollywood, da?

Yeah, but I've never met her,

But that's just

because she's really busy.

Yes, Rosalie?

I just want to help out

our new student

By explaining that it's

"cinema," not "ceen-eema."

You know, like committing a sin.

Repeat after me, Zhenya.

Cin-e-ma.

That is what I say.

You better should dig wax out

of your ear with shovel.

No, you didn't.

You said "ceen-eema."

Mademoiselle,

If Zhenya would like to work

on her pronunciation,

I would be more than happy

to help her at recess.

Uh-Uh, nyet.

During recess, I play baseball

with the fellas.

Well, just keep

on embarrassing yourself

In front of everyone, then.

You know,

that reminds me, Rosalie.

It's pronounced "specific."

So?

So you pronounced it "pacific"

earlier.

You do it a lot, actually.

I do not.

Yeah, you do, rose.

Well, if she says

"pa-cific,"

How come I've never heard it?

And I'm over her house

all the time.

Tres bien, children.

Repeat after me, Rosalie,

"Spe-cific."

I don't have to repeat

after anyone

Because I know that I'm right,

So you can just go

shut your face, Dondi!

Mademoiselle!

That sort of outburst

deserves a check minus.

I didn't say he had to shut

his face, Madame.

I said he could if he wanted to.

Please finish, monsieur.

Any other questions?

When you go on TV,

Aren't you afraid

you're gonna break the camera

Because you're so ugly?

That is enough!

Oh, hurry back after recess.

I shall reveal

all of the casting decisions

For the tableau.

She can't play

the virgin Mary.

I mean, she has an accent.

But nobody has

to say anything.

So?

What does that have to do

with it?

What is she even doing

in this country?

I bet her parents

are communist spies.

Felix.

You'll be on my team today?

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

We are friends, Felix Funicello.

You ask me anything.

Why'd your family

leave Russia?

We leave.

So you're not spies?

Who say that?

Rosalie.

Rosalie nothing but...

blyad.

What's that?

Like, um,

Prostitute...

You know, girl who does

naughty things with boys.

Oh, a chicky boom boom.

Da,

chicky boom boom.

Come on, Felix.

All right, all right,

all right.

- Hi, fellas.

- Who's playing?

Want to play knockout?

Like boxing?

I good at that.

It's basketball.

Nyet,

no basketball.

I like baseball or dodgeball.

- Ain't you playing?

- No, not today.

All right, let's go.

I call first.

All fifth grade girls

Are to report to the gymnasium

immediately

For an emergency meeting!

And, boys, I want you running

laps around the courtyard

As penance

for your lurid behavior!

Now!

Ladies.

Hey, what was that meeting

about?

What's penguins know

about kissing boys?

They say I go to hell

For opening myself for sin.

Attention, class.

It's time to reveal the casting

for the tableau.

Bien, bien.

You should immediately

get started on your costume

And decide which refreshment

you'll be bringing

For the pageant after-Party.

Madame's excitement

was becoming contagious,

And I couldn't wait to see

what starring role

She had given me.

The little drummer boy?

Congratulations, Joseph.

Really?

Who's Mary?

Pauline Papelbon?

Madame, there must have been

some sort of mistake.

There are no mistake.

You'll be playing a pivotal role

of a shepherdess

Alongside Zhenya.

Okay be me, teacher lady.

Okay, back to your seat.

But...

this is not over by a long shot.

Oh, shut up, Turdski,

you lost.

Did you just hear that?

You'll be serving detention

after school for that, monsieur.

Mrs. Frechette,

May we speak with you

for a moment?

Of course.

It's about the casting

for your tableau.

Uh, yes, what about it?

First of all,

I think we can all appreciate

That Mrs. Frechette

is newly arrived

And might not necessarily know

the workings of our school yet.

Uh, what are you saying,

mother Filomena?

I'm sure that this Pauline

is a lovely young lady,

But is she really capable

of such a demanding role?

I mean, clearly,

her overeating stems

From that mother of hers

being unstable...

Emotionally, that is.

I really don't know

what Pauline's home life

Has to do with anything.

She is a very respectful,

well-Behaved student.

But shouldn't the smartest

And the hardest-Working student

in the class

Be the one to represent

the blessed virgin Mary?

As usual, Twerski impressions

will be printing the program

Free of charge.

And we were planning on having

a three-Color cover this year.

Did you hear that,

Mrs. Frechette?

Three.

My stars, with our budget

as tight as it is,

We are thanking the lord

and the heavens above

For such a generous donation.

I happen to know

that there's an opening

For a full-Time substitute

After what happened

with sister Agrippina

And that awful Russian girl.

Please, Madame?

Please?

Finished.

Oh, bien, Felix.

You may go.

Can I say something first?

This is a private meeting.

What is it, Felix?

I just wanted to say...

I just wanted to say

that Madame Frechette,

As a teacher,

is just tops.

Tres magnifique.

Would you like me to wipe down

the board for you, Madame?

Yes, that would be wonderful,

Felix.

Merci.

To tell you the truth,

I really don't have the heart to

take the role away from Pauline,

But if Rosalie wishes

to play a king,

I'm sure that none of the boys

would mind switching their part.

I think that's

a very good compromise.

So what do you say,

mademoiselle?

Which gift would you like

to bring?

Gold, frankincense, or myrrh?

What the hey, honey?

Go for the gold.

Fine.

Well, this has been

a very successful meeting.

Thanks a lot, Mrs. Frechette.

Our little princess

really appreciates it.

Don't you, sweetie?

Yes, thank you,

Madame Frechette.

Monsieur Dondi.

I'll never be sure,

But I could swear it looked

like she was holding back tears.

Merci.

So Rosalie ended up complaining

her way up

From a shepherdess

to one of the three kings.

Hold one to the side.

Is this the Twerski girl?

The rat fink herself.

I think it's cute

that you guys

Are always picking

on each other back and forth.

There's nothing cute

about Rosalie Turdski.

Felix, don't be stupid.

She clearly likes you...

Like likes you.

Ew, gross.

No, she doesn't.

When I was in the fifth grade,

If a girl really liked a guy,

She'd make his life

a living hell.

Madame, what are you doing?

I'm making room for

all the wonderful decoration.

But I worked hard on those.

Just for the holidays.

Ours will be the best-Dressed

room in the entire school.

If you ask me,

Madame was none too pleased

With Rosalie going

behind her back

After their meeting

And finagling a way to still be

the star of the pageant.

This is just so beautiful,

Rosalie.

I could just feel

our lord's energy

Working through my hands

as I wrote it.

Oh, my.

I call it, Jesus is

the reason for the season.

Can I perform it at the pageant?

I will, of course,

play the beautiful narrator.

The narrator...

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