Wishin' and Hopin' Page #7

Best episode

of ranger Andy ever.

Hey, nice outfit.

Where'd you get it?

My aunt, and I wouldn't be

talking, Johnny Tremain.

Formidable.

Oh, interesting choice, Pauline.

Thank you.

I got it from my neighbors,

the Margisellas.

Tres bien.

Ooh, Zhenya, you got

a little scissor-Happy

With the costume, no?

Nyet.

It fit me better

than the other girls.

Bon.

Places, everyone.

Hello,

I am your narrator.

And this play is about

the true meaning of Christmas.

Here comes the saints.

Let's listen.

I'm Aloysius Gonzaga.

I was kind to children

and lepers

And said the hail Mary

Every time I climbed up and down

the stairs

Before I died of the plague.

In America,

Which hasn't yet been

discovered,

A wonderful school

will be named after me.

Look, here comes St. Therese.

Hi, my name is St. Therese.

I loved god so much

That I would sleep under

a heavy blanket in the summer

And not use the blanket

during the winter

When I was freezing cold.

I died of tuberculosis

at the age of 24.

Oh, look who's coming.

It's Martin de Porres.

Yes, it is me,

The saint of hairdressers.

I love animals

And was so happy to finally

become a saint in the year 1962.

But today I am very, very sad.

The saints start to talk

to each other.

Why are you sad, St. Martin?

Is it because there are

Still so many prejudiced people

in this world?

No.

That's not it.

St. Martin de Porres

puts his hands over his face

And starts to cry.

That's it.

I quit.

You can't quit.

You're the only one in our class

who can play St. Martin.

Oh, yeah?

Why is that?

Because...

you just are.

I ain't crying in front

of my father and brothers.

Fine.

You don't have to cry.

You just have to look real sad.

- Okay?

- Fine.

Can we finish up now?

After what felt

like an eternity,

Rosalie's play finally reached

its grand finale.

This is terrible.

And so the three saints

rode all night long

With Santa and his sleigh.

And in the morning,

Before opening their presents,

The children knelt down

and thanked god

For sending his only son

down to the earth.

And everyone was happy,

Except for the atheists.

The end.

Rosalie, did mother Filomena

read the entire play

Before approving it?

Well, perhaps we'll reword

a little bit

Before the performance.

What is it, Felix?

That ending doesn't make

any sense.

How could they ride around

with someone

That's not even real?

Santa is too real!

How else do the presents get

under the tree, huh?

It's still a dumb ending.

Not as dumb as you are!

Okay, children.

We're out of time.

But a few words before you go.

You must remember

That while the other classes

are celebrating la nativite

With their songs,

You are the ones

who will embody it.

Should you have an itch,

You must resist the urge

to scratch it.

What if we have to sneeze?

You must suppress it,

Perhaps by digging your

fingernails into your leg

And drawing a drop or two

of blood

Or maybe of thinking

of something really sad,

Like... Like a dead puppy.

But you must never

break the illusion

That you are a three-Dimensional

painting,

Just as breathtaking

as any in the Louvre.

Madame's speech did

nothing to calm my stage fright.

I couldn't get a blink of sleep

the night before the pageant.

I was so nervous,

I could have filled up

a dozen leper slop pails.

Pop had to keep the diner open

late and would miss the show,

But ma and my sisters

would be there to witness

My impending failure.

But then again, I didn't even

have to say anything.

All I had to do was stand there.

Everything was gonna be okay.

Charlotte...

Charlotte, what is it?

Or not.

The other one wouldn't get

on the truck.

So we brought this one

instead,

On account of

we could just carry him.

Pa said nobody would notice

anyways.

This is gonna be good.

No.

No, really, really.

Really, thank you.

And welcome to St. Aloysius...

Excuse me...

Annual Christmas pageant.

That's how rumors get started.

We have a wonderful show

for you tonight,

And all the kids have worked

so hard on this play.

And we have an original play

Written by one of our students.

And it...

It is called

Jesus is the reason

for the season.

But there

is the cutest little black...

Whoa.

Oh, oh.

Whoa.

You got to watch out

where you put these mic cords.

You know,

it's none of our business.

Anyway, this lamb's got

this little white collar,

And it is so cute.

And you're gonna love the lamb,

But you're gonna love the kids,

and you're gonna love the play.

So god bless all of you,

and thank you,

And have a great time,

and... And...

Yeah,

okay.

Okay.

Second graders, you're up.

All right, kids,

Make your parents proud.

That means our first tableau

will be up after them.

Monsieur Franz,

Mademoiselle Pauline,

L'annonciation.

Oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-Horse open sleigh,

hey

jingle bells, jingle bells

jingle all the way

oh, what fun it is to ride

in a one-Horse open sleigh

Ave

Maria

gratia

plena

Maria

gratia

plena

Maria

gratia

plena

ave

ave Dominus

Dominus tecum

Did he just eat his booger?

Why is Mary dressed

like Scheherazade?

I don't know.

Why do you have

to criticize everything?

I don't have to;

I want to.

Like, if you ran the world,

everything would be perfect.

Probably.

Yeah, yeah.

Yes, it is me,

The saint of all hairdressers.

I love animals

And was so happy to finally

become a saint in the year 1962.

But today...

I am very, very sad.

So the saints start to talk

to each other.

Why are you sad, St. Martin?

Is it because there's still

so many prejudiced people

In the world?

There are?

Um, why, yes, St. Martin.

Well, wait till the NAACP

hears about this.

You ruined my play.

I think I improved it.

That was marvelous, sweetie.

Angels we have

heard on high

sweetly singing

o'er the plains

and the mountains in reply

echoing their joyous strains

glo-Oh-Oh-Oh

oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oria

Madame Frechette,

my stomach hurts.

It's okay, Pauline.

It's just nerves.

Or the half dozen

sno balls she'd inhaled

That were supposed to be

for the after-Party.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Madame, could you take Pauline

to the toilet, s'il vous plait?

- Shouldn't...

- Madame...

Okay, fine.

Come along.

Oh!

Damn it.

The puke, the lights...

It was ranger Andy

all over again.

Jackie, give me this.

Zhenya, you're Mary now.

How I be her?

My costume.

Franz, you change your costume

with Zhenya.

No way.

All I got under here

is my underwear.

You heard teacher lady.

She wants us to switch;

We switch.

What's going on?

Rosalie, I'm Mary now,

lady man.

That's not fair!

I work harder than anybody else

in this class.

And why her of all people?

She's an atheist

and a communist.

And I don't even care

what you say,

'Cause you're just a stupid sub.

I'm Mary!

I no think so,

chicky boom boom girl.

Rosalie.

And I was officially

never sleeping again.

Singing o'er the plains

sweetly singing

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