Women Aren't Funny Page #3

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that you're not good

and you're never gonna be good.

Are you...

I kill all the time.

Just because it's not

your brand of comedy

doesn't mean it's not good,

Bonnie. Jesus.

Well, you don't know

what it feels like

so you think doing, like,

just getting a couple of laughs

is killing for you.

Well, you know,

everything's relative.

Um, so I'm gonna put you down

for yes, you're gonna quit?

Kate?

She hung up on me.

Kate?

She did. F*** her.

You have any identification?

Well, I have a little birthmark

but I'm certainly not gonna...

The truth is, funny

women who do break through

leave an indelible impression

on the public consciousness.

And this is just a tiny example

of the women from our past

who are synonymous with comedy.

There are so many more.

Laugh a little louder,

Mum can't here you up there.

To prove this point, Bonnie

asks her interviewees to list

their top five funny women

of all time,

living or dead,

or animated, or anyone.

Anyone at all. Any girl

name you can think of,

just say somebody's name.

...Kirkland. And...

Maria Bamford, who I knew before and

she's been doing it the longest.

She's super funny. I'm actually

reading for this list.

Mary Lynn...

How do you say her last name?

- Rajskub.

- Rajskub.

If you forget, you go,

"I can't think of any funny

female comics."

When you go to do

the documentary,

go have 10-15 women comedians

to rattle off,

'cause they're gonna go,

"Well, name some."

And I wanted to go boom, boom.

I didn't do it

and I can't do it,

and you might think,

"Well, you're not even

supporting what you're saying."

It's... Yes, I am.

I stand my ground.

It took a little research,

but this journalist

was able to locate the only

know archive of funny women.

The site is the brainchild of

female comedian Maria Bamford.

- Did you interview Maria?

- No, we're going to.

She's so f***ing funny.

She's amazing.

She's diligently spent the past six

years compiling the extensive list

which boasts over 78 names.

- ...then Mo'Nique.

- How did she get my name misspelled?

- Wait...

- I'm not on the list?

That's a nice little coffee pot.

- Want some coffee?

- No.

But you think

women are really funny

- on your website, right?

- Yes, yes, yes.

I have a list of funny women,

and I know there's even more

than that.

And if you have any more,

tell me

'cause I wanna put 'em

on the list.

Well, I'd feel weird

making that list

- 'cause I'd be scared that I'd forget somebody.

- I know, I know.

Um... I did, when I looked at it, I

noticed you did forget somebody.

Did I not put your...

Oh, my Jesus Christ.

I haven't updated it

in like six years.

No, it was around six years ago.

No, I know.

- Um, how do you respond to that?

- What's happening?

- Oh. Honey...

- No, that's cool.

I don't need for everyone

to think I'm funny,

that's not what this is about.

This documentary's

not a vanity project.

...they think I'm funny.

Funny. You're super funny.

But you're a

super funny comedian.

Every time I think of you guys,

I was just like,

that's like my dream come true.

- No, but seriously.

- Why?

The super strong, two super

strong comedians together.

I didn't say it,

you have to look at him.

I bet his name's on it.

What's Rich's part

in the documentary?

I'm not like, a filmer,

but these...

- A filmer?

- What the hell's a filmer?

A guy that does the filming.

- Is that in the shot?

- Yeah.

That's in the shot.

I mean, it's so annoying.

He's just himself.

He's, you know...

Does he ever offer his opinion

when you just kind of

- are not really interested in hearing it?

- Yeah, absolutely.

Questions, questions, 80's.

Talk about the 80's, OK?

You have to be more funny.

F-U-N-N-Y.

The appetizer. Some soup.

Salad, then the main course.

You see what I'm saying?

You don't get what I'm saying,

do you?

Yeah, so it's not about me.

We're doing a dumb documentary

on how funny women are.

Don't know how to sell it,

dumb documentary.

- Way to go, Rich.

- He truly has no concept,

after all these years

in the business

- how it's supposed to go.

- No, I know.

He's just trying

to get on camera.

- Sad.

- Nothing.

You can't worry so much

about how you look

because you're...

what do you call it?

An interviewer.

'Cause it's all about looks.

That's why every person

in this room,

work on yourselves,

work on yourselves,

work on yourselves.

I spit on education

No man will ever put his hand up your

dress looking for a library card.

- And it's stupid.

- Stupid.

Not... well,

I'm a good housewife.

Not one of you is made love to

'cause you did the linoleum.

The floor's immaculate!

Lie down you hot b*tch.

It doesn't happen!

Every show should be the best.

I don't wanna hear,

"I was tired tonight."

Every show,

they've gotta walk out saying,

"She's the funniest thing

I've ever seen."

- You go on the road?

- Oh yeah. I was on the road for years.

Stayed in all the places, yeah.

With the one light bulb

and spaghetti stains

on the walls, yeah.

There couldn't be a worse

environment I could imagine

a woman to be in,

like, comedy clubs on the road.

The f***ing just... human sloths

that run those comedy clubs.

Open mic, my favorite night.

No one gets paid but me.

The disgusting managers,

just like

The club owner picked me up

at the airport and said,

"You're the third female

comic we had

and if you're not funny, we're

never booking another one."

I was like, wow, the

responsibility of my entire gender

is on one weekend performance,

you know?

Females are

my favorite comedians.

I love females.

Females make me laugh.

Um...

you've got your book open.

- OK.

- Let's just do this right now.

Who do you...

What females

do you have coming up?

Let's see, February?

No one.

March, no one.

Let's see.

Mary Ocanto...

It is harder approaching

a comedy club

outside of New York when they

don't know you as a female, sure.

If you're being introduced

by a man, a male comic,

there's a look, like,

you know...

So who's sleeping with her?

I remember Silver Friedman

said to me one time,

she used to run the improv,

and I'd say, "Look,

can I get a ten o'clock spot

instead of one in the morning

with three drunks from exit 14

in New Jersey?"

And she'd say, "Look, Joy,

it's not about your talent,

it's about hanging out here.

You don't hang out enough."

I said, "Look,

I have a child, OK?

- And I have a job."

- But I also have a job to

pay my rent, pay my bills,

feed my children,

put clothes on their feet.

- So I have a difficult job.

- "Clothes on their feet"?

Shoes on their feet.

Thank you.

- It took me years to get spots.

- I never headlined you?

No. You promised me

a headline weekend.

- I can't headline you.

- - Will you headline me on...

Well, let's talk about

the dynamic of headlining.

People have to put butts

in the seats.

The question is,

if your room is 75% full,

would it have been 100% full

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