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Women Aren't Funny Page #6
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2014
- 79 min
- 130 Views
I don't know what goes on there.
...and it's so hard for us
something to f***.
- An object?
- One time in New York
some construction workers whistled
at me when I first moved there
And they go, "Not you!"
If you're gorgeous,
you're not gonna be funny.
So it just doesn't work.
It just doesn't work.
Looks... Like I was never
considered pretty,
which is why I can be funny.
You don't expect
to be funny.
But... You don't expect a very
handsome man to be funny either.
I knew a guy with a port wine
stain on him.
Am I gonna f***ing
look at that sh*t?
The problem
is extremely complex.
Only ugly women can be funny.
But ugly women are not allowed
on American television.
It's not a win-win situation.
It's that other thing.
The not win-win situation.
A no-win situation.
Many, many female comedians
deserve to be on television
who aren't on sitcoms
because when they go to pick
a funny woman
they will always go
to a gorgeous woman.
All one has to do is look at
the cast members of The View
to see how true this is.
...year I had twelve comics,
two of them were women.
Um, last year I had 25 comics,
I think I only had...
I had two women last year.
Paula Poundstone
- Just always two women?
- No, I... No.
- Isn't that true, Eddie?
- Yeah, it's true.
I rest my case.
I have no idea why.
But I think it's because
in their mind,
I was not their demographic.
I was too old, I was too female,
I was too Jew-y,
I was too whatever it was.
- I don't know.
- Most of the people in power at the Letterman Show
are women. The executive
producers are women.
The associate producer
is a woman.
His right-hand person is a
woman.
The woman who books
the whole show is a woman
because she's the woman
who books the show.
The meetings you go into
where you get introduced
to, "This is Tammy, she's the
head of comedy development."
She's got overalls on,
just out of UCLA
and she's got an Asian assistant
with a yellow pad and he's
writing something...
And these are the head
of comedy development.
How the f*** do you
get that job?
What are your qualifications?
How does anyone deem this broad
the head of comedy development?
She wouldn't make you laugh
unless she accidentally
hit her head on a pipe, then
you go, "Wow, that's good."
You know how we said five
percent of standups are good?
That's our team.
Five percent
of the industry's good.
Five percent of the industry,
they're brilliant.
Like with standup,
comedy movies feature
a lot less women.
Usually, there's only
one gal to every six guys.
And that's a gang bang.
- Up here.
- Yeah.
And yet film critic
Ben Lyons feels
it's the men in comedies
who are being shortchanged.
Men are depicted as accessories
and thrown to the side.
And it's women who are dealing with
all the story points of the movie.
His solution, no women at all.
It's like a man's movie.
There's really not movies
that are so much written as
comedy vehicles for women.
Which I feel like is annoying.
I just don't wanna be in
a comedy and not be funny
and the female lead of a comedy
is this,
"Get a job!"
"I can' do this anymore."
"Are you gonna get
your life together?"
Women who are just
made miserable
or mortified by there boyfriend
or husband's hilarious behavior.
I don't wanna do that. There
are so many great actresses
- Richard.
- Pretty actresses...
- Richard!
- What? I'm throwing this out.
- She's on a great sound-bite.
- Oh, sorry. Sorry.
- I thought...
- Guess what that was.
A male comic.
You have to be careful.
You can become the thing
you hate the most.
Oh, my God!
That's incredible.
I just was what I was...
Aren't we all what we hate?
- Really?
- I just brought that up.
- You guys...
- I don't wanna be the bitchy
girlfriend. I don't wanna be
the complaining person.
Richard, please!
Richard.
Harlem has actually changed.
You guys, you can go.
There are white people
in Harlem.
And you can tell, 'cause
we got three Starbucks,
salad.
That's nice.
The first time I saw
a ripe tomato
I was like, "Ooh.
They coming."
Welcome to the Funny Feud.
We surveyed 100 people.
Top five answers
are on the board.
What kind of chicks
make you chuckle?
The funniest kind of woman
is fat.
than white women?
Yeah. Ten times funnier.
Women that are funny
are lesbians a lot.
There's some South Koreans
veer towards humor.
She's a Jew. Now don't
get carried away.
- You got one.
- - I was grouping white and Jewish separately.
- OK, separate.
- I put them together.
No. You can't put them together,
That's not the same.
'Cause they're not white.
Is the funniest woman
B*tches! Wait your turn.
You just better pray I don't f***
it up for the rest of y'all.
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah.
For women, it's a demoralizing,
discriminatory,
rejection filled thankless job
who don't think they're funny.
So why do they do it?
I don't know why you do it.
I guess it's what you know,
an unpleasant feeling
your whole life.
And then, you seek more ways
to magnify that.
The crazier you are,
probably the funnier you'll be.
You... And I told some
comedian one day,
"I know sometimes it bothers me,
'cause I think does me being
normal hurt my comedy, will it?"
He does, "Oh.
You think you're normal?"
And I was like, "You don't?"
He goes,
"You're f***ing not normal,
Todd."
I go, "Oh, my God! Thank God!"
hardship in ones life
translates into standup comedy
genius later on
is horse sh*t and it's not
supported by the numbers.
And it's one of these clichs.
Everybody wants to believe it.
It has very Freudian undertones
and I think it's largely
been discredited.
I'll tell you why I'm a
comedian.
My parents got divorced.
A, number one.
Two, very hairy.
A lot of unwanted hair
in a town...
seemingly hairless town.
Jew. Jew among no Jews.
It's like three sitcoms
in a row,
Fish Out of Water, classic.
Bedwetter. Bedwetter well
into my teens.
Brutal. Sent to sleepover
summer camp since I was six.
Just humiliating summer
after humiliating summer.
My shrink when I was 13,
went to the second session,
waited in the waiting room
a very long time,
he had hung himself.
He had braces.
until the braces came off.
Aren't braces a sign of hope
in a way?
If you're lucky enough to have a great sense
of humor and to be able to make people laugh
then you can use that
as a defense
and then you say,
"Hey, this is working."
How am I broken? I'm a f***ing a**hole
who just wants to belong and be loved
and have people care about me.
- And nobody...
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"Women Aren't Funny" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/women_aren't_funny_23628>.
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