Women Aren't Funny Page #8

Synopsis: Comedian Bonnie McFarlane dons her investigative journalist's hat to find out once and for all if women are funny and report her unbiased findings in what some are calling the most important documentary of our generation.
 
IMDB:
5.5
NOT RATED
Year:
2014
79 min
130 Views


I'm telling you, it was great.

One, none of them

understood you,

they were all foreigners,

so you got some laughs, right?

That's your first time

on stage as a guy.

It's like you were new

and you got laughs.

I know but I felt like I was...

I just thought...

I'm telling you, it was great.

It was good.

It was, I'm telling you.

It was good.

Didn't you see me laughing?

I know but I felt like

you were laughing at me.

I wasn't laughing at you.

I was laughing at your jokes

and your hair, that was good.

I'm telling you that was good.

That was good.

Don't be upset.

- I just can't be a comic.

- No.

- Listen...

- Because I can't do it as a man

and I can't do it as a woman.

You were great.

You were great.

You're great as a woman

- You're better as a woman.

- Somebody's gonna come out here

and see some dude

f***ing crying his eyes out.

No, I'm telling you,

you were great.

Listen to me, I'm serious.

- I was...

- I don't even care about this stupid documentary.

- I'm telling you...

- I don't care if people think women are funny.

- I just don't even care anymore.

- I'm telling you...

- I just think...

- You are one of...

Everybody says how funny

you are as a woman.

I don't care if everyone

thinks I'm funny as a woman.

'Cause I only care

if you think I'm funny.

- I think you're hilarious. I was laughing.

- No, you don't.

I wanted you back as a lady.

I wanted you back

as a woman up there.

The girl I love... Why do you think I

love you? It's 'cause you're funny

- and you're good looking.

- I don't want the camera's on.

I can't...

I don't even see you

as a woman or as a man.

You're just great.

I'm telling you, you were great.

Come here.

You... you were great.

I'm telling you.

You were great, you were good.

- I'll be back in a second.

- - No, keep the beard on.

It is at this point

Bonnie is forced to contemplate

the title of her cocumentary.

Perhaps it shouldn't be Women

Aren't Funny but

Bonnie Aren't Funny.

But, as Oprah likes to say,

"Bite off more than

you can chew,

then chew it."

I like to go in...

But Bonnie can

no longer chew it all.

Something is going

to have to give.

Really funny, then one time

he told me he had AIDS.

That was very scary.

That went on for two years.

You guys have been so fun,

thank you very much.

For now,

standup will have to sit down.

Let's hear it for Bonnie,

everybody.

Chicks love it.

Without the stresses of

standup and going on the road,

Bonnie is finally able

to experience

some of the simple everyday pleasures

of being a stay at home mom.

Grocery shopping, hanging

out with other mommies.

You can't get homeowners

insurance doing one of these.

Even get your teeth cleaned.

It really is the greatest,

most rewarding job

any woman can have.

Mommy, Mommy.

Mommy, Mommy.

But enough is enough.

Bonnie is ready to put

standup back on it's feet.

I have to believe that the

impulse to make people laugh

is just innate.

It's a biological imperative.

There's just no reason why

women wouldn't have that.

Of course they do.

We have to do what we do

creatively so,

we can stay happy.

- I still love it. Don't you love it?

- Yeah.

When I think of a new joke, I can't

believe I thought of a new joke.

- That's so exciting.

- Once you say something,

once you put jokes out there,

material out there,

it's for the person

who's listening.

- It's theirs.

- The goal is to get

your audience

to come and see you.

You know? And once that specific

crowd comes to see you,

it lightens

the burden enormously.

You don't have to prove.

You walk out and they say,

"Oh, I know her already."

Bonnie is ready

to find her audience.

If it's out there.

So female comedian headlining?

Yeah, or just

comedian headlining.

- I mean...

- I don't know.

- What do you think?

- I like that you're performing.

I'd like for you

to be in the mix.

But that would be kinda key.

I think things were working well

when you were opening for Rich.

Apparently, attitudes

have not changed much

during Bonnie's hiatus.

There even appears to be

a new hater in the media.

- Oh, my God.

- It's Adam Corolla,

formerly of The Man Show

and presently a podcast king,

he tells the New York Post that

men are far funnier than women.

This sends the Twitterverse into a

frenzy of angry counterattacks.

Why would anyone wanna bring

this kind of resentment

against himself?

This reporter makes it

her mission to find out.

- Hi, good to see you.

- Hey, thanks for coming.

My pleasure.

You're on a slab,

where are you gonna run?

How are you gonna get

all these wires...

Right after he

finishes talking about

his podcast studio.

- ...60 million downloads in a year.

- - And his podcast.

...Guinness Book of

World Records, which is nice.

- And his inability to read.

- I really couldn't read, and so I never did.

I've read a comic book.

A book, I just...

I wouldn't read.

He eventually gets to

the New York Post article

and how he was taken

out of context.

I guess I do know why,

I think they try to bait you

with stuff that gets them

more ink

or more press

or more eyes or ears

than they would've

normally gotten.

At a certain point,

I think he just said,

"Who's funnier, men or women?"

Comedians... if you

don't have an opinion,

you're not doing your job.

So I said men

and then it got

sort of ran with,

sort of picked up

and ran with this like,

"Adam's says women

aren't funny."

You're in the business

of sort of busting chops

or even busting

the occasional labia.

That's where the comedy is.

Why do you think women get

so angry every time

that it comes up?

Obviously, they feel

it's true to some degree

or they wouldn't have

an issue with it.

Calling a skinny guy fat

just makes him laugh.

Calling someone that's 20 pounds

overweight fat, gets 'em pissed.

- Obviously, you strike a chord...

- - Could Adam be right?

Did it really come down to

a disbelief in ourselves?

Or is it possible women

are angry because

we're sick of the constant

untrue stereotype?

By the way, I've been talking

my whole life,

- no one's ever listened to me.

- Good point.

Perhaps women need

to go back to that.

- The not listening.

- ...was "Shut up."

My parents, "Take it outside."

Every guy I ever worked

with was like,

"Yeah, who cares? Shut up."

There are a few things

Bonnie needs to do.

First, she gets a new manager.

- Oh, yes.

- Bonnie is compelled to do something else as well.

Bonnie heads to Boston.

- Why are you doing this?

- What are you doing?

- I'm doing my voiceover.

- Why are you using your own name?

Why are you doing this?

It's too creepy.

It's third person,

it's what journalists do.

You're not a journalist,

your a comic. Stop it.

It's... Nobody likes it.

And nobody likes you.

- Oh, that's nice.

- Just stop it.

- Thank you.

- It's ridiculous.

Well, then.

Good. A little

positive reinforcement.

Where was I?

Bonnie arrives in...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Joe DeRosa

All Joe DeRosa scripts | Joe DeRosa Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Women Aren't Funny" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/women_aren't_funny_23628>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Women Aren't Funny

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    What does the term "protagonist" refer to in screenwriting?
    A A supporting character
    B A minor character
    C The antagonist in a story
    D The main character in a story