You'll Never Get Rich

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Slow down for a minute,

will you, please, Jenkins?

All right. Go ahead. Thank you.

- Where are we, Jenkins?

- Fifth Avenue, sir.

- I see that. But why are we here?

- This is your wedding anniversary.

Oh, of course, of course, my 15th.

Delightful occasion.

Thank you, Jenkins.

- Good morning, Mr. Cortland.

- I'd like to get a bracelet.

Diamond, of course. Here we are.

Is this something like we have

in mind? Or perhaps this?

Oh, that's beautiful.

- I'll take that.

- Fine. That's my preference.

Will there be anything else?

No, thank you. Oh, yes, I wanna get

something for my wife too.

- How much is this?

- Seven dollars.

Will you put this in one

of your boxes?

- Yes.

- Incidentally, what is it?

- It's a Chinese backscratcher.

- Always wanted to have one of those.

- Shall we send it, sir?

- No, I'll give it to her myself.

- And about the bracelet, sir.

- I want that engraved.

Yes, and to whom?

To my dear, sweet...

- May I use your telephone, please?

- Of course, right over there.

I'll have her name for you

in just a minute.

- The boss wants you on the phone.

- Thanks. I'm through with this table, Joe.

Someone's still a beat off.

- Hello, chief.

- What's the name of that pretty girl...

...in the front line

of the modern group?

The new one with

the dimples on her knee?

Oh, Sheila Winthrop.

Yeah, that's right.

- Miss Winthrop.

- Yes, Mr. Curtis.

There's nothing I admire more

than independence...

...but sometimes

it can be carried too far.

Our group is known

for absolute precision.

All the other girls are doing

this dance one way and you another.

I'm sorry. But I don't know

that part of the routine.

- Would you like to try it with me?

- I'd love to.

Tommy, let's have the second 24 bars.

Ready? One and two and...

Tommy, let's have the second 24 bars.

Ready? One and two and...

- That's much better, thank you.

- Thank you.

All right, now listen, kids.

I want the whole number.

Places, please.

It's "Boogie Barcarolle," from the top.

I'll do it with you. Are you ready?

Music. Now, give me some

nice straight lines, please. Go.

That's it. Take five minutes.

Sheila.

- Who do you think you're kidding?

- I don't know what you mean.

- You know that dance routine.

- That's right.

Then why do you muff it

when Mr. Curtis is around?

- Because I like to dance with him.

- Is that all?

- I like the way he talks.

- Is that all?

- I like his personality.

- Is that all?

- Isn't that enough?

- Don't get your hopes up, dear.

- Why not?

- For eight hours a day, Mr. Curtis...

...is up to his hips in pretty girls.

And we all look alike to him.

- Really?

- Yes. To a hungry man, a lamb chop...

...is a tasty dish. But to

the butcher, it's just a hunk of meat.

Mr. Cortland wants to see you

in his office.

- I take it all back, dear.

- Thank you, Mr. Curtis.

- What do you take back, Marge?

- A remark I made about lamb chops.

- What do you take back, Marge?

- A remark I made about lamb chops.

Come in.

- You sent for me, Mr. Cortland?

- Yes, I thought we might have a chat.

- Won't you sit down, please?

- Thank you.

- You know that I own this theatre?

- Yes, I do.

Fine. Fine.

- I took an interest in your work.

- Really?

So much so that this morning

I was walking down Fifth Avenue...

...I saw something rather beautiful

that reminded me of you.

I wanted you to have it very much,

and so I bought it for you.

This couldn't be a diamond bracelet,

could it?

Yes, as a matter of fact, it's engraved.

"To my dear, sweet Sheila."

Something I thought of.

- How lovely.

- We do understand each other, don't we?

- Yes, we do, don't we?

- Good.

Now, I've got a little plan.

I'm sorry.

- Hello?

- Mrs. Cortland is on her way in.

Thank you, Cummings.

- I'm terribly sorry about this.

- I quite understand.

Maybe this way would be better.

- You are lovely, my dear.

- Thank you, Mr. Cortland.

Oh, thank you, Miss Winthrop.

We'll consider the proposition

closed then.

I'm thinking of putting

her under long-term contract.

She's an old friend of the family.

My family.

Her father and my father, you know.

Like that:

- She's beautiful, isn't she?

- Who?

Oh, she? In a superficial sort of way.

Will you stop looking at me like that?

- Like what?

- You ought to know, you're doing it.

Do we have to fight

on our wedding anniversary?

- How did you happen to remember that?

- Well, Jenkins told me.

Very thoughtful of Jenkins.

I was thoughtful too.

I bought you a present.

It's in my coat pocket, if you

wanna go and look for it.

Oh. Oh, it's lovely, Martin.

- Interesting gadget, isn't it?

- Gadget?

- Yes, it's to scratch your back.

- Scratch your back?

Yes, it's Chinese. You scratch it up

and down and crosswise.

What on earth are you talking about?

Oh, wait a minute,

I'll show you how it works.

- Where did you get that?

- Out of your pocket.

- My dear, there has been a mistake.

- I see. Who is "dear, sweet Sheila"?

The girl that just went out.

Don't jump to conclusions.

No, no, I won't.

We'll take it nice and easy.

But, Julia, you do not understand.

No, I know I don't, dear.

But I will when you explain.

- I bought that for Robert Curtis.

- Should look lovely on him.

Don't be ridiculous.

Robert is crazy about Miss Winthrop.

He asked me to pick a present out

for her. So I did. See?

I'm disappointed in you. There was

a time when your alibis were gems.

- Remember the Russian dancer?

- She was Portuguese.

Before you talked your way out of that,

you rewrote the Arabian Nights.

Now you've lost your imagination.

I'm getting bored with you.

Bored? Is it my fault you reached

into the wrong pocket?

You started the whole thing. That's

the trouble around here, no privacy.

People reaching into wrong pockets.

No organization.

How's a man to run a theatre?

- Is this what you intended for me?

- Yes.

As a matter of fact, you know,

that's quite a collector's item.

Ming dynasty.

But it also has its practical side.

You can scratch yourself

in all sorts of places.

I imagine.

Oh, you're very thoughtful, Martin.

I'm sure Miss Winthrop will agree.

You don't believe me then?

Oh, of course I do.

But that's because I know you so well.

I'm just wondering how your story

will sound to 12 strange men.

Twelve strange men.

Twelve strange men. She's batty.

What's 12 strange men got to do

with this? Football team, 11 men.

A baseball team, nine.

Symphony orchestra, 100 men.

Twelve men.

A jury!

Robert, prepare yourself for a shock.

Julia's going to divorce me.

- I'll be first to congratulate her.

- How can you say that?

You know I don't want a divorce.

I'm happily married. I love my wife.

And besides,

all this property is in her name.

She's gonna strip me right down

to my underwear too.

You ought to think of that

before you gallop after...

...something you can't catch.

Who is it this time?

Sheila Winthrop. I bought her this,

and my wife found it in my pocket.

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