You'll Never Get Rich Page #2

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I imagine you had a good reason

for buying that.

- I certainly did. We're good friends.

- Oh, I see.

- Besides, it's none of your business.

- I agree with you.

- Wait, you're in this too, you know.

- Me? What have I to do with it?

I told Julia you bought this for Sheila

and that you were in love with her.

Oh, you did, did you?

I'm going to tell her differently.

You don't have to.

She doesn't believe it anyway.

Please, you've got to help me.

If you get me out of this jam,

it'll never happen again.

No more galloping, I swear it.

Please, Robert?

- All right, what do you want me to do?

- Well, it's very simple.

I'll take Julia to the Crystal Roof

for our anniversary dinner.

You bring Sheila and prove to my wife

that you are in love with Sheila.

What? Well, what would Sheila think?

Make her believe it too.

If she doesn't, Julia won't.

That won't be difficult.

She has a friendly disposition.

Turn on the old charm, you know.

Fascinate her.

Do anything so long as you

make my wife...

...believe I was telling the truth

when I lied to her.

Is that all?

If you get a chance, you might put in

a good word for me with Sheila.

Hello.

I said, hello.

Oh, hello.

I'm sorry. For a minute,

I was a long way off.

- Have a nice trip?

- Wonderful.

I'm glad you came back.

Incidentally, you dance beautifully.

- You didn't think so at rehearsal.

- Oh, that.

Confidentially, Sheila, I'm delighted

every time you make a mistake.

I get a chance to dance with you.

Confidentially, I make mistakes

for the same reason.

Good evening, Mr. Cortland.

What are you looking for?

Me? Nothing.

Why should I be looking for anything?

- Thanks, Sheila. It was lovely.

- That's your fault.

Look! There are Robert and Sheila.

- Oh, how surprising.

- Let's go over and say hello.

Just to be polite.

Just for a minute.

- Oh, Robert.

- Hello, Martin. Hello, Julia.

- Well, this is a surprise.

- Is it?

- Of course it is.

- Want to sit down?

Thank you. That's nice of you.

We have a table over here.

Way back is the best we could get.

I hope we're not gonna crowd you.

Sheila, how rude of me.

You know Miss Winthrop, Julia?

- Yes. How do you do, Miss Winthrop?

- How do you do?

It was outside of my husband's office,

wasn't it?

I'm glad you both dropped by.

I was just about to...

- You first, Robert.

- Thank you.

I was gonna say,

I'm glad you both dropped by.

It makes a very pleasant occasion

even more so.

Yes, doesn't it? And it's our

15th wedding anniversary too.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

Robert, did you happen to see

the lovely present Martin gave me?

- It was a backscratcher, Chinese.

- Ming dynasty. Ming.

When we were first married, it was

orchids. Now it's a backscratcher.

Try and scratch your back

with an orchid, I always say.

It seems to be a special occasion

for both of us.

How did you like your present,

my dear?

What present do you mean?

That's a funny thing about orchids.

I was talking to a guy the other day

who breeds... Raises orchids.

He said he couldn't do...

You gotta make so much difference

about the yellow ones. But...

Martin, what in the world

are you doing?

- I'm tying my shoe.

- Try doing it with both hands.

- Well, what were we talking about?

- The present Robert gave Miss Winthrop.

Julia, can't you keep a secret?

I was saving this as a surprise,

but now that you know it...

...I hope you like it.

- This couldn't be a diamond bracelet?

- Open it.

"To my dear, sweet Sheila."

The funny thing was that when my wife

found that in my pocket...

...she thought that I was the one

who bought it for you.

How could you possibly think

such a thing?

Because I know Martin.

Do you like it, Sheila?

Like it? It's wonderful. It's the most

gorgeous thing I ever saw!

Now what do you think,

Miss Susie Suspicious?

Ask me later.

Oh, Mr. Curtis, this is the nicest thing

that ever happened to me.

- May I call you Robert?

- Please do.

Oh, I'm so deliriously happy.

I don't know what to do!

Oh, yes I do! I'm going

to phone all my relatives.

- Sheila!

- Mr. Cortland...

...who is that with Mr. Curtis?

- Miss Sheila Winthrop.

- Oh, Winthrop. A romance?

- Yes. They're practically engaged.

You can quote her as

being deliriously happy.

- Thank you.

- Ming dynasty.

"New romance in show world.

Robert Curtis and Sheila Winthrop."

And then it goes on:

"The announcement will be a surprise

to the many friends...

...of the famous choreographer

who is directing...

...the numbers for the modern revue

at the Cortland Theatre."

What else does it say, Louise?

That's about all, except you are

quoted as being "deliriously happy."

Who do you suppose

put that in the paper?

Mr. Curtis, naturally.

And that's carrying things too far.

You'd think he'd quit

after what I did to him last night.

- Did he know you were doing it?

- Of course.

He must have known

I was trying to embarrass him.

Apparently that newspaper article

was to even things up.

- How do you know it was him?

- I'd believe anything of him.

I thought I liked him once.

Now I know the gentleman.

Hello? Who?

Tom! Of course she is.

It's your captain.

Tom, dear, where are you?

You mean to say you left

the Army to run itself?

I've been transferred to Camp Weston

near where my mother lives.

I was going to ask you and

Louise to visit us for a while.

That sounds delightful.

Why don't you?

That was before I read

this morning's paper.

You mean it isn't so?

There's still a chance for me?

Fine! I'll be right up!

Hey! Why don't you watch

where you're going?

You're the first driver who chased a man

after he'd already missed him.

- Hey, buddy, who's car is that?

- Mine.

Parked it right next

to a fire hydrant.

That wasn't there when I parked!

Oh, I'm sure it wasn't.

Every time it rains...

...those fireplugs pop out of

the sidewalk like mushrooms.

What's your name?

Put it over here.

Let that be a lesson to you.

And that's what happened.

It was all part of a game.

I see. This Curtis fella pitched

and you caught.

Before the party broke up,

she did some pitching of her own.

- I'd say the score was even.

- I wouldn't.

Hello? Who is it?

Oh, just a minute, please.

Mr. Robert Curtis is in the lobby.

Should I tell him to go away?

No, tell him to come up.

It'll save me a trip to the theatre.

Will you come up, Mr. Curtis?

He sounded upset.

- I'd like to really upset him.

- You would?

You two wait in the other room.

I'll handle this.

All right, come along, Tom.

Come in.

- What about this story in the paper?

- What about it?

You took a lot for granted

announcing we were engaged.

- You're saying you didn't announce it?

- I certainly am. Why would I?

What would I gain

by such a ridiculous story?

That's the fella who almost hit me

on the street. Do you have a gun?

But how can we get rid of his body?

- Never mind that. Just give me the gun.

- All right.

- Here.

- Oh.

I don't care who put it in the paper

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