You'll Never Get Rich Page #3

---

as long as you know we're not engaged.

May I compliment you on your chivalry.

I imagine the bracelet will more

than make up for your hurt feelings.

- I'm going in and you can't keep me!

- No, no, Tom!

Stand aside, I know my duty.

- You, sir.

- Tom!

- What are you doing here?

- I came to attend a wedding.

There's gonna be one.

I tried to keep him out.

You know your brother's temper.

But, brother, dear,

you don't understand.

Yes, I do. I heard every word he said,

the dirty, no-good Yankee!

- Say, what's this all about?

- Honour, sir. My sister's honour!

- All I did was give her a bracelet.

- You admit you bought it?

- I didn't buy it.

- Then you stole it?

No, somebody gave it to me,

and I gave it to her.

You did that and you still refuse

to marry her, sir?

- I said we are not engaged!

- That's all I want to hear.

- Sheila!

- Darling.

- Yes?

- Sorry, Mr. Cortland. No news yet.

Fine thing! I own the theatre.

I shoulder all the responsibilities.

I pay all the salaries.

I ask one simple question.

I wanna find out how much

Robert Curtis weighs.

- And what's the answer?

- I don't know.

- I'm about to be sued, shot or sabotaged.

- Who's gonna do all this?

Sheila's brother has some silly notion

about me and Sheila.

He's after me with the biggest gun ever.

- It's just a badger game.

- Just a badger game.

It serves you right

for getting mixed up with women.

Serves me right? You caused it all!

Don't try to implicate me in your

sordid affairs. I'm a married man.

This is serious. You've got

to help me out of this mess.

The fella is gonna shoot me.

- Lf he shoots you, I'll fire Sheila.

- That'll be a big help.

Then get a gun

and shoot right back at him.

I should call the district attorney.

Get this theatre mixed up in a scandal?

No, I'm in trouble enough already.

- Robert, they're gonna draft you.

- Draft me? How do you know?

I found this. You're to report

to the Medical Board this afternoon.

- Everything happens to me.

- Drafted. Wow!

- I beg your pardon?

- That's the solution to my problems.

Don't be selfish. I can't run

this theatre without you. Think of me.

I've had enough of you, your theatre

and your schemes.

- Besides, the Army needs me.

- Oh, not as much as I need you.

What makes you so sure

you can pass that examination?

- How much do you weigh?

- I don't know.

We'll soon find out. We'll get you

on these scales in here, my boy.

We'll settle this right now.

Just as I thought, five pounds

underweight. My troubles are over.

- No five pounds are holding me back.

- I'm going with you.

Oh, no, you're not.

- Next man, corporal.

- Yes, sir.

Robert Curtis.

Everything's fine so far.

Now all we have to do is check

your height and weight.

- Take off your hat.

- I'm sorry, sir, I just had a shampoo.

- Take off your hat!

- Yes, sir.

Stop that jiggling.

I must've caught a chill.

If I could put my hat on.

No hat. Stand still.

Yes. Now? All right.

- Do you think you can you stand still?

- Yes, sir, I'm okay now, doc.

That's funny, I'd have said

you were five pounds under.

I fool them all, doc.

All right. Report to Camp Weston.

You'll leave from Grand Central Station.

Thanks a lot, doc.

You say Little Neck, Long Neck,

Great Neck, Connecticut.

All I wanna know is when my brother,

she's arrive.

I'm sorry, but I don't understand

what you wanna know.

He's not so smart.

- Can you please give me information?

- Thank goodness you speak English.

We're going to Camp Weston.

Would it be better to take a train...

...and go to Cattaras, or make

a change and go from there?

Why, yes, I... What was that again?

Is it better to take a train to Cattaras,

or would it be better in the morning?

I don't understand you.

I'll put it another way.

We're going to Camp Weston.

- You understand that?

- Yes.

Is it better to take a train

and go all the way to Cattaras...

...or be forced to take

the midnight special?

- Shall I repeat that?

- No, please, don't.

- Where are you going?

- I wanna get one of these folders.

- I'll see you later.

- How long does it take to Camp Weston?

Okay, soldier.

Take a train and go to Cattaras.

You'll find this fighter force

and get there on time.

- How's that again?

- I said take a train to Cattaras.

Don't change, find a place in the centre.

You'll find it a lot sooner.

Oh, you mean...

In plenty of time.

No, l... What did you say?

I said, I thought you said they probably

have it near Camp Weston...

...especially on Tuesdays.

A comedian, huh?

Farewell, our hero

Well. Hi, Francis.

Slave driver sublime

I don't believe it. Hi, Jerry.

Don't be like Nero

And fiddle away your time

Who, me?

If ever you're lonely

Just remember this

Please do

You're the best of rookies

And your sweet cookies

Are proud of you

Thank you, thank you

Why I'm completely floored

- All aboard.

- All aboard.

All aboard

Goodbye, dear friends of mine

My dancing troupe divine

Suzetta, you should be next to Jean

Janetta, you're not in line

To go, I hate, but, girls, I've got a date

I'm shooting the works for Uncle Sam

No crying, Marge and Myrt

You need a girdle, Gert

And promise me please to write, Louise

And give me the latest dirt

I'm off, my queens

To learn some new routines

I'm shooting the works for Uncle Sam

North, South, East, West

All the boys are hep

To do their darnedest

To defend Miss Liberty's rep

Cheer them both, for even though

They're slightly out of step

They're shooting the works

They're shooting the works

Yes, ma'am

They're shooting the works for Uncle Sam

Cheer them both, for even though

They're slightly out of step

They're shooting the works for Uncle Sam

Halt!

All right. All right. Now.

Who's making patty-cake with the feet?

- Was it you?

- Why, sergeant.

- You?

- Wasn't me.

- Were you doing it?

- Doing what?

- That.

- Oh, you mean this?

Say, you're not bad.

But don't do it again!

The supply officer wants

to see you right away.

- I'll be right with you.

- Right.

Any of you men have

any experience drilling?

- I have.

- March the detail to the drill field.

Hey, buddy, come here.

Put this in my tent.

Right shoulder arms!

Right face. Forward march.

Backward march.

Halt! Right face, forward march.

Backward march.

Right turn and face me slowly.

Left. In the rear right.

Back. Forward.

About face.

Right. Set apart. Left face.

Forward. Halt!

Look, do I have to keep telling you

to go to the right...

...when I want you to go to the banks?

Don't counter it. Go.

Forward march.

On the double.

- On the double.

- On the double.

Now you're getting it.

Razzle-dazzle.

Halt!

I thought you said you had

some experience in drilling.

I did. I used to work

for the city. Street department.

Back in the ranks!

- What's the matter?

- Can't a guy get some sleep here?

It's that Curtis guy again.

Why don't you go to bed?

Get some sleep.

Quiet!

Hey, Swivel Tongue, you got a match?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes