You'll Never Get Rich Page #6

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And the most unconvincing.

Oh, Captain Curtis,

are we too late to see the rehearsals?

No, we're starting again

in a few moments.

I'd like to speak to Sheila

if you can spare her.

Yes, sir. Of course.

For a few minutes.

- I have something to tell her.

- Tom is being transferred to Panama.

Come on, Sheila.

I'll tell you all about it.

Isn't it wonderful? After all these years,

they're going to be married.

What?

- I didn't know a thing about it.

- He's going to ask her now.

- Do you think she might say yes?

- Of course.

Our family's been planning it for years.

Don't look so upset, Capt. Curtis.

They won't be leaving for Panama

until after your show is over.

Pardon me, please.

I have to change my clothes.

Oh, Robert?

Wait a minute, please.

One more chance to save my wife

from a terrible fate. Sonya's threatening...

You're wasting your breath.

Where's that bracelet?

It's in your apartment, in my suitcase.

Sonya is... Where are you going?

To my apartment. Say one more word,

and I'll throw those bloodhounds at you.

To the apartment.

After all I've done for him.

After all these...

Hey, I changed the name

on the bracelet!

Say, that's fine. I'm a genius!

I'll bring them together again,

and your conscience will be clear.

But I don't worry about my conscience.

I only worry about my career.

You let me do the worrying, huh?

All right. I let you do the worrying,

but if your plan doesn't work...

Oh, it will work, believe me.

I wouldn't be mixed up in a thing like this.

It's pretty low, you know.

But it's a national emergency, my dear.

Well, Sheila?

- Aunt Louise, Tom proposed to me.

- Yes.

And out of the clear sky,

I realized I was in love with Robert.

Did you tell Tom?

Not yet. Tom asked me not to give him

my answer until tonight.

What an eventful day this is.

When did Robert ask you to marry him?

He hasn't yet...

...but I think he will.

I suspected something like that.

I've been married three times.

- Four.

- That's right.

I keep forgetting poor Mr. Trapscott.

How do you do?

You seem familiar with Army regulations.

What happens to a private

who goes AWOL?

- Well, it depends. Why?

- I'm afraid Robert's in quite a jam.

He's in his apartment in town,

and Col. Shiller is due in half an hour.

- Why don't you phone?

- I have. He doesn't answer.

If anything happens to that boy,

I'll never forgive myself.

I'll go get him. My car's right outside.

- It won't be too much trouble?

- Not at all.

There's something

I want to talk over with him.

You've taken the load off my mind.

- See you later.

- Bye, dear.

- Will you pardon me, please?

- All right.

Martin, aren't you ashamed?

Martin, aren't you ashamed?

Can you forget those gophers

long enough to do me a favour?

Sure. What's up?

Listen, I've got to go AWOL long enough

to get a wedding license.

I've got to convince her I'm on the level

when I propose.

- Miss Winthrop?

- Yeah.

I want you to keep those guards so busy

they won't miss me for an hour or so.

By the time you change your clothes,

we'll have everything under control.

Okay, fellas. So long, fellas.

Hi, soldier.

Hey, fellas, did a hat go by here?

Hey, Kewpie! Kewpie!

Where are you? Kewpie!

I got him.

Kewpie! Here it is.

Boy, are we lucky! If he'd got away,

goodbye, Camp Weston.

- What's going on?

- We got a spy under there.

- A what?

- It's a foreign pigeon from Europe.

- What'll you do?

- We gotta get the major.

Keep your eyes on it.

Don't let it get away!

Wait a minute.

How can a pigeon be a spy?

They train them.

They import a trainer from the Army.

It's got a camera tied to its leg.

We caught it taking pictures of the camp.

- Well, I'm a son of a gun.

- Hey! Don't do that.

If that bird ever... You'd both be shot.

Don't let that pigeon get away from you,

soldier. Come on, Swivel.

- What's going on here?

- Something's under the hat.

- What is it, boys?

- It's a spy.

- In the hat.

- In whose hat? Are you crazy?

It's a pigeon spy. European.

It's a spy, all right.

He's got a camera strapped to his leg.

Whoever heard of a pigeon

that could operate a camera?

The son of a gun bit me!

Oh, Mr. Curtis. You frightened me!

What do you think you did to me?

What are you doing here?

This happens to be my apartment.

I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Mr. Cortland told me I could use it.

Well, now, that's mighty chummy

all around, isn't it?

My, this is terrible!

What would people think?

Take it easy, my innocent little friend.

I'll be out of here in one minute.

Tell Mr. Cortland the next time he passes

out apartments that don't belong to him...

The bloodhounds.

Robert, are you there?

Why, Sheila!

Lmagine you standing there.

Why, yes, it's Sheila.

You might let me in.

I'm not selling anything.

Sure, sure. Come in.

- Well, Sheila, how are you?

- I'm fine, but you're in trouble.

- What trouble did you hear about?

- You're AWOL. They're looking for you.

As trouble goes, that's nothing.

If you go back to the guardhouse,

that's a lot of trouble to me.

Sheila, that's sweet.

Come on, I'll drive you back in my car.

That must be the boys.

Better let me handle this.

Hello, Miss Winthrop.

Is Pvt. Curtis in there?

I thought he was in the Army.

He'll be in the Army plenty

when we nab him.

Well, there's no hurry.

We'll wait around a while.

- Is there a back way out?

- Back way?

This is a second floor apartment.

Oh, wait!

There's a fire escape

outside the bedroom window.

- Hold it! We can't go in there.

- Why not?

Well, you see, that's my bedroom.

Don't be coy.

Well, I mean, there's work

going on in there.

There's a plumber.

- What difference does that make?

- What difference?

- There you are.

- He's just fixing the shower. Come on.

Charming, wasn't it?

- You mean, that little...

- That dainty little garment. Yes.

What the well-dressed plumber

is wearing, I guess.

It takes all kinds of plumbers

to make a world.

It was simply adorable.

I'd love to know where he bought it.

No, I wouldn't do that. You don't know

how some people feel about those things.

Plumber?

His voice is changing.

Sonya, come out of there.

Tell Miss Winthrop

exactly what happened.

- Shall I tell her everything?

- Yes. What do you mean, everything?

- Don't you believe it, Sheila.

- I don't.

Sonya is trying too hard.

- Sheila, you're wonderful.

- I'm surprised, Sonya.

- This is the oldest game in the world.

- You think so?

If I were you,

I'd stick to plumbing exclusively.

A plumber? Aren't you silly?

Why didn't you tell me the truth?

How did I know you were

one girl in 50 million?

Let this be a lesson to you.

Let's get down this fire escape.

By the way, what did you come

to your apartment for?

- It was a surprise, Sheila.

- For whom?

- You.

- Tell me.

- No, I'd rather wait until after the show.

- Now that I know...

No. I'll tell you later.

Come on. Let's go.

That's it, isn't it?

I'm gonna feel awful about this.

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