You're Telling Me! Page #4

Come on, Sam, | tell us who she was.

She was the finest lady | I ever met in my life.

Joke's on me, Sam. | Wrong jug.

Try some of this | new blended stuff.

It's a funny old world.

A man's lucky | if he gets out of it alive.

I never met a princess before.

I never met anything | higher than an elk!

Princess Lescaboura.

I'm the Mayor | of Crystal Springs.

I'm delighted.

Will you step | this way, please?

I'll be all right. | Take care of Rosita.

May I present the Chairman of | our Entertainment Committee,

Mrs. Edward Quimby Murchison.

Oh, yes! I've heard | of Mrs. Murchison.

Really? I'm charmed.

My husband, Mr. Murchison. | Delighted.

Maybe you'd like to take | a little drive around the city

or something, | eh, Your Majesty?

Thank you. But I must | first see the friends

I've come to visit | in your charming city.

We shall include them, | of course.

You're too kind.

Are you sure | you won't mind?

Princess! How could we? | Thank you.

Well, well, | I don't see him.

Him? Who?

Everyone Your Highness might be | interested in meeting is here.

I've seen to that.

But I don't see my | old friend, Mr. Bisbee.

Did she say Bisbee? | Bisbee?

There is a Bisbee in our town, but | he's not one of our best citizens.

Then it couldn't be the same | Bisbee. I mean Samuel Bisbee.

Surely you don't mean...

Not Sam Bisbee, | Your Highness?

Yes, Sam Bisbee.

A real hero | and one of nature's noblemen!

A hero? | Sam Bisbee?

No one will ever know what | he did for me during the war.

What did he do for you, | if I'm not too inquisitive?

He saved my life.

Why... Your Royal Princess... | I mean, Your High Majesty,

if we'd have knowed it was | Sam Bisbee you was looking for,

we'd have had him | down here, but, gosh...

Would it be | asking too much?

Would you drive me | to his home?

His home? You mean you | want to go to his house?

Yes.

Why, it's a pleasure, | Your Majesty.

Thank you.

Where does Bisbee live?

The other side | of the railroad tracks.

Gosh all hemlock!

We're sure it's the wrong | Bisbee, Your Highness,

but if you insist.

All ready, boys?

What'd you tell her? Well, | what could I tell her, Sam?

When your wife phoned | and asked me were you here,

I said you were | on the way home.

I thought I was | doing you a favor.

If I had enough money to pay | your back salary, I'd fire you!

Think I'll do it anyhow.

Why don't you take | your wife home a present?

A little pet of some kind.

Women are crazy about pets. | They're just crazy.

Pets haven't a thing to do | with it. Look at Charlie there.

See what I'm taking | home for the old lady?

It'll take a bigger bird than | that to square me with my wife.

Hey, pet man!

Whoa, Myrtle!

Hey! Myrtle! Look at Sam | with that funny-looking bird.

Myrtle, look out! The | lamp post! The lamp post!

Get down, Myrt! | Come on, now.

Come on. Now you're okay.

Now, come here! | Come here! Come here!

Come back here! | Come here! Come here!

Put your hat | over your head!

It's a shame, Your Highness,

you came all this way | only to find the wrong Bisbee.

Edward! Edward! | Isn't that Bisbee?

Yes, my dear, | that's Bisbee.

Well, stop him! | Stop him quickly!

Hi, boys! | Catch Bisbee there.

We want Bisbee. | Catch him. Stop him!

Come on, Myrt! Here.

Mr. Bisbee! | Sam!

Bisbee! | Sam!

Come on up | out of there.

Bisbee! Bisbee! | Old Sam, come here!

Your old friend, | the Princess Lescaboura.

Who? | Hello, Sam.

I'm afraid you girls | have the advantage of me.

Surely you remember the girl whose | life you saved during the war?

Marie! How are you?

You're a sight for sore eyes! | Fancy meeting you here!

We're conducting Her Royal | Highness to your home.

Her Royal Highness? | The Princess Lescaboura.

You are, eh? Well...

We're on our way to your | house. Come along, Sam.

Yes, do come, do come.

Say, I wouldn't ride in the | same carriage with that dame

for all the money | in the world.

If you don't mind, I'll | give my place to Mr. Bisbee

and ride with the mayor.

Thank you so much. | Come along, Sam.

They rolls off my knife.

Here, Murchie, | hold the chickadee.

If she starts singing, | give her some birdseed.

Well, Marie, | here we are again.

I'm surprised you didn't recognize your | old friend, the Princess Lescaboura.

Lescaboura!

That's a funny name. How'd | you happen to think that up?

That princess stuff's | a great idea.

Hope we can put it | over on the wife.

Must be a fire! | Maybe it's the ambulance!

There she is now. Duck!

How do you do, Mrs. Bisbee? | I'm so glad to see you.

Isn't this an honor for our town? Honor?

Why, | the Princess Lescaboura!

Your Highness, have I your | permission to present Mrs. Bisbee

and her daughter, Pauline?

I'm so happy to know you, | Mrs. Bisbee.

I think you're the luckiest | woman in the world.

Is my husband dead?

Not at all.

And you, the daughter of my dear | friend and benefactor Colonel Bisbee.

Aw, gee! | Thanks, Princess.

You don't realize | what a great thrill this is.

Of course, I don't know | what my dad did, but...

You don't know he saved the | Princess's life during the war?

Heroes don't talk much, | do they, my dear?

But in my country, the name | Samuel Bisbee is a household word.

Mother!

Mother!

Quickly, get some water! Quick! | Won't somebody get some water?

Look out, she may be stalling.

There, there, Mother! | How are you feeling now?

I'm all right.

I'll get your husband.

Colonel! Colonel Bisbee!

Sam!

Hello, Abigail, dear. | Did you miss me?

Hello, Samuel.

Your Highness,

I know | it's an awful lot to ask,

but won't you come in?

I'd be delighted!

Won't you all come in?

Charmed, I assure you.

It looks like a great day | for the Bisbee family.

Thank you, Mayor. You haven't a | little dram on the hip, have you?

Colonel, I always have | something on the hip.

Mayor, you're okay.

I voted for you | last election.

Five times.

Your Highness, please.

Before you make | any other engagements,

I've invited some | of our best people

to my home | to dinner tonight.

I hope you'll enjoy | meeting them.

I'm so sorry,

but you see, I'm dining with | the Bisbee family this evening.

But Your Highness!

I've made all the preparations, | engaged the caterers.

Why how fortunate! | You won't object, will you?

Object?

If Mrs. Murchison's caterers | served the dinner in your home?

Then you could invite | all your friends.

Well, of course I'd be delighted, | if it pleases Your Highness.

It pleases me very much.

And you're all invited.

Isn't she marvelous! | What an idea!

I never would have | thought of it myself.

I can't tell you how I | appreciate it, Mrs. Bisbee.

What was that? | I beg your pardon.

Allowing me to use | your lovely home for my party.

Not at all. It's a pleasure. | Excuse me.

How do you do, Mrs. Bisbee? | Good evening, Robert.

Thank you, thank you, | gentlemen. Thank you.

Well, Samuel?

Abigail, my dear, | the party's a big success.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes