You've Been Trumped

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1

I usually get up about

seven and let the cat out.

And, in these dark mornings,

I just nip back to bed again

and turn on the TV,

and lie till about,

say, half past seven,

get ready and start my porridge.

Yes, that's for the hens.

Sometimes I keep out...

if I'm going to have

something with tatties,

I keep out a couple for myself.

SHE CHUCKLES:

They are very good tatties.

Just nearly there.

COCK CROWS:

Before, I used to count.

And the fox just nipped off the lot.

RADIO:
'..Like to ask a

question with regard to..."

It's all talking on that station.

And the fox thinks there's people about,

because they don't like people.

SHE CHUCKLES:

They're just lovely.

They're old ladies.

Got an egg.

How many do you get a day?

Oh, well, sometimes two,

sometimes one, sometimes none.

Sure you know, guys, you...

don't rush forward,

you'll get all the shots you want.

Mr Trump will spend time

with you afterwards as well.

If you spread out, guys,

you'll get the best view.

Give my pipers a bit of space.

BAGPIPES START PLAYING

Hello, everybody.

Better believe it. Good.

And everyone knows Martin Hawtree.

He's the architect of the site.

How are you? Nice to see you.

I was born on the farm that

I worked on during the war.

But I wasn't brought up on that farm,

because my father was a lorry driver.

Well, he was actually a

ploughman in his younger day.

There's a ploughing match,

now, my father did ploughing.

That's my father.

He was a prize plougher. My father.

He has lots of cups and medals.

We used to go and watch them.

I know my father's style of ploughing.

See how he is, look.

See, he's over, bent.

This is where we lived.

That's the shop at

Whitecairns, which is no more.

And there's the Daniel's buses.

My eyes aren't as good

as they used to be.

When I was here first,

it was March we saw them.

And then, last year, it was February.

That's two there that

used to come every year.

And we knew it was the same

two because of its long neck.

They are beautiful birds.

CHATTER:

..I'm shaking hands with

people and I said, "Whoa."

LAUGHTER:

Miss Scotland. Come here a minute.

So you won't be going to the

Miss Universe Pageant in...

And who's going, who's going?

- How do you rate her? Good?

- Yeah.

- You think she's good?

- Yeah.

I don't know, I'd need to...

SHE LAUGHS:

Are you from this area?

Thank you.

BAGPIPES PLAY:

There are so many familiar

faces from the press

who've really been amazing

supporters of the project.

This is really a circle of our friends.

This was really a celebration of our friends.

A celebration of people

that supported us.

It was spectacular for me yesterday

to be able to walk the final

version of the course with my father,

to say, you know, "This

is now what we are doing.

"This is what will be etched

into this land for ever."

As Lord Provost of the city,

yesterday, it was my pleasure

to welcome these two gentlemen.

We look at the plans that you've got

to produce this absolutely

outstanding golf course.

The excitement in this is

absolutely, outstandingly wonderful.

Any questions, gentlemen?

Very nice question.

Mr Trump, what would you say

to the many local residents here

who feel that you've run

roughshod over planning legislation

and environmental issues simply

because you've got lots of money?

It's a very interesting question,

because, honestly, this

is a very popular project.

We've had great support from the council

and great support from

the political leaders.

We've saved the dunes, and,

from an environmental standpoint,

it's a much better situation than

it was before we bought the site.

You can sometimes see the deer.

You know, coming out of

these trees across there.

They jump the fence no problem.

So beautiful.

I know they're wild, but

they're not too scared.

You know, they just

seem to...put up with us.

- Do you want me to face forward maybe?

- Yeah.

Watch this.

What was the first thing he said to you?

"Give this man a job," he says.

Give this man a job. I

says, "I've got a job."

Then he kept saying it, three times

he said it, "Give this man a job."

I says, "I've got a bloody

job! I don't want a job."

THEY LAUGH:

Keep this short, ladies and

gentlemen, the rain's coming.

Give me an umbrella.

No, I'm just, you see, I happen

to be a very truthful person.

His property is terribly maintained.

It's slum-like, it's disgusting.

He's got stuff thrown

all over the place.

He lives like a pig. And I did say that.

And I'm an honest guy.

And I speak honestly, and I think

that's why some people like me

and some people probably don't like me.

But I think he'd do himself a great

service if he fixed up his property.

And I'm not talking money,

it's not a question of money,

it's a question of a

little manual labour.

I says, "That explains everything

on his shed." Just take a look.

"He's nothing but a compulsive

liar." That's what I said, aye.

Mr Trump, if you had a message

for Michael Forbes this afternoon,

- what would it be?

- No. I have no message.

- I don't speak to him.

- You quite enjoy it.

And feel that, in the end, your

sort of power and money will win out.

No. I don't view it as power and money.

I think that principle will win out.

But my people made deals

with him on two occasions.

My representatives have absolutely

made two deals that he broke.

So he knows that.

His people know that,

whoever his people may be.

Oh, well...

Nobody's complained

about it up to now, eh?

He passed us this

morning and just flew on

in his top-of-the-range Range

Rover with blacked out windows.

Oh, I missed getting a super photo

of him the first time he arrived here.

The wind got him on the escarpment.

And I thought the press would have loved that,

I could have sold that picture for a fortune.

His hair was sticking out like that.

You know, the whole

lacquered thing had come off,

where it's all wound around,

and was out to a point.

Damn it.

This is my husband's

hat, aboard this boat.

He was chief petty officer on deck.

It's a bit dusty.

There he is, look,

under the red umbrella.

Where he is just now,

which is just looking

slightly to the right,

is where he was hoping

to put in the clubhouse.

And where he was going to

put it in, it tends to flood,

because the water all runs

down off the land into there.

So have difficulty

putting a clubhouse there

unless it's on stilts.

My father, he sang songs

that you never hear of today.

And he used to sing a song,

"You'll never miss the water

till the well runs dry."

Which is a very true saying, isn't it?

It really shouldn't matter

if the applicant is

Mother Theresa of Calcutta

and she wants to carry

out the development

in order to raise

money to help the sick.

Or indeed even if it's Donald Trump.

The permission isn't to the

person, it's to the land.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I'd now like to welcome a representative

from the Green Party to the stage

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