You've Got Mail Page #3

"That it was I and I alone...

...who had the idea for

the great and daring mouse plot.

We all have our moments

of brilliance and glory...

...and this was mine.

'Why don't we,' I said...

...'slip it into one of

Mrs. Pratchett's jars of sweets?

And then...

...when she puts her dirty hand in

to grab a handful...

...she will grab a stinky

dead mouse instead.'

The other four stared at me in wonder.

Then, as the sheer genius

of the plot began to sink in...

...they all started grinning.

They slapped me on the back, cheered me

and danced around the classroom.

'We will do it today! ' they cried.

'We'll do it on the way home.

You had the idea,' they said to me.

'So you can be the one who

puts the mouse in the jar."'

GEORGE:
Uh, who belongs to this fish?

- That's mine.

Could you give me a hand

with these used books?

And this is her best friend Tacy,

whose real name is Anastasia.

And the next book, Betsy and Tacy

become friends with Tib...

...whose real name, I am sorry

to tell you, is Thelma.

ANNABEL:

Ew.

The illustrations are hand-tipped.

And that's why it costs so much?

That's why it's worth so much.

ANNABEL:

I want all of them.

Uh, I'll think about it.

KATHLEEN:
That's a lot for your dad

to buy at one time.

My dad gets me all the books I want.

That's very nice of him.

That's not my dad.

That's my nephew.

I don't really think

that he could be your nephew.

No, no, no. It's true.

Annabel is my aunt.

Isn't that right, Aunt Annabel?

- Uh-huh. And Matt is his...

- Wait, let me guess.

Are you his uncle?

No.

His grandfather?

His great-grandfather?

I'm his brother!

Matt is my father's son.

Annabel is my grandfather's daughter.

We are...

...an American family.

[ANNABEL SNEEZES]

Here you go, young lady.

ANNABEL:
What's that?

- That's a handkerchief.

Do children even know

what handkerchiefs are?

A handkerchief is a Kleenex

that you don't throw away. See?

My mother embroidered this for me.

My initials and a daisy, because

daisies are my favorite flower.

May I ask who you are?

Kathleen Kelly. I own this store.

And you are?

Joe. Just call me Joe.

We'll take these books.

GEORGE:

Okay.

You're gonna come back, aren't you?

- Of course.

GEORGE:
See?

That is why we won't go under.

Our customers are loyal.

They're opening a Fox Books

around the corner.

- Fox Books! My daddy...

- Likes to buy discount.

But don't tell anybody.

It's nothing to be proud of.

F-O-X.

That's amazing! You can spell "fox."

Can you spell "dog"?

F-O-X.

Look at this dinosaur book.

It's a pop-up dinosaur book.

Wouldn't you like to have

a dinosaur book like that?

Wouldn't you like to read that?

Sit here and read Matt the book

until I take care of things.

Whatever you do, just don't listen

to anything I say. Thank you.

We'll take that pop-up book as well.

The world is not driven by discounts.

I've been in business forever.

I started helping my mother when I was 6,

and I used to watch her.

She wasn't just selling books.

She was helping people become

whatever they were going to be.

When you read a book as a child,

it becomes part of your identity...

...in a way that no other reading

in your life does.

And I have gotten carried away.

Yeah.

Yeah, you have.

You've made me feel...

Enchanting.

Your mother was enchanting.

Yes, she was.

- How will you be paying for this?

- Cash.

How did you know that?

From the photograph.

That you in the photograph?

What are you doing?

Twirling.

My mother and I used to twirl.

She left the store to me,

and I'll leave it to my daughter.

GEORGE:
Seventy-three dollars, please.

- How much?

Uh, 73 dollars.

Oh. Uh...

How old is your daughter now?

I don't have a daughter. Oh!

I'm not married. But eventually...

So the big, bad Fox Books

can just go to hell.

- Here you go.

- Thank you. Hey, we're ready?

- That's nice.

ANNABEL:
Bye, Kathleen.

Goodbye, Annabel. Goodbye, Matt.

Oh, Matt, I have to ask you another thing.

Can you spell cat?

F-O-X.

[JOE CHUCKLES]

Cat. Thanks.

Good thing it wasn't the fish.

[KATHLEEN LAUGHS]

JOE:

Take care!

JOE:

No protests, no demonstrations.

KEVIN:

The neighborhood loves us.

NELSON:
They're wondering where

we've been all these years...

...how they did without us.

It's a hit!

How's the children's department?

It's early. School's not out.

And there is that children's store nearby.

Shop Around the Corner.

SCHUYLER:

Cecilia's store. Cecilia Kelly.

We might have had a date once.

JOE:
Her daughter owns it now.

NELSON:
We'll crush it.

SCHUYLER:

She was enchanting.

BIRDIE:

They've been open six days.

And we did $1200 less

than the same week last year.

That could be a fluke, right?

Or not.

Their store is new. It's a novelty.

It'll all shake out. Meanwhile,

I'm putting up more twinkle lights.

That's a fine idea.

What if we have to fold?

I'll never find another part-time job.

Then I won't be able to pay my rent,

and I'll have to move.

To Brooklyn!

GEORGE:
Ah, the joy of rent control.

Six rooms...

...450 a month.

We know. You've told us a million times.

I can't believe you're bringing

this up at a time like this.

It's like those people who brag

because they're tall.

We are not going to fold.

Hey, l...

This place is a tomb.

I'm going to the nut shop where it's fun.

George?

Miranda!

Hi! Hi!

Kathleen, are you surviving?

We're so excited about your new book.

When should we schedule a signing?

It's being published in January.

Will you be in business in January?

I'm so worried.

We're doing great.

Aren't we?

BIRDIE:

No difference whatsoever!

Great.

Thank God!

You can count on me for anything.

Support, rallies, picket lines.

We can get the Times to write something.

Or that nut from the Observer.

What...?

- What nut in the Observer?

MIRANDA:
Frank something-or-other.

The one who's in love

with his typewriter.

This is just the sort of thing

that would outrage him.

FRANK:

A nut? She called me a nut?

KATHLEEN:
That's not the point.

She thinks my store is in trouble.

Why would she say that?

There's enough business for us all.

FRANK:
Yes, there is. No question.

- We are fine.

You're more than fine.

You're absolutely fine.

- We are fine.

- Yes.

How are you?

- Fine.

- Fine.

Vince will be so happy to see you.

FRANK:
Congratulations.

Guess who I saw on the subway today?

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

PATRICIA:

This is amazing. He said:

"You should go to a retreat.

You really should go to a retreat."

Honey, will you get me

another drink? I'm all out.

"It's a really great place...

...to calm down."

He said that to me. Isn't that hilarious?

Champagne, please.

Stoli on the rocks.

But a fresh glass, please.

White wine, please.

BARTENDER:
Here you go.

- Thank you.

Oh, hello.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Do you remember me,

from the bookstore?

Of course I remember you. Yes.

How's your aunt?

She's great. Thanks.

I'd better go deliver this.

I have a very thirsty date.

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