You, Me and Dupree
CARL:
You have very beautiful toes.
Did I ever tell you that?
Yes, you have.
I'm not even...
I'm not even a foot guy.
They're not even webbed.
Are you concentrating
on the game,
or are you just lusting
after the feet of your
soon-to-be wife?
I'm concentrating.
(CHUCKLING)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
NEIL:
Carl, it's Neil.Are you there?
No, we're not.
NEIL:
Carl. It's Neil.There's a problem.
NEIL:
There'sa wedding-related problem.
All right, go. Get it.
Hey.
NEIL:
I hear you whisperingabout not answering me.
Just remember,
when this is all over
it's just you and me.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
NEIL:
Carl, if you're humping,stop, 'cause I'm coming in.
Dude, it's Dupree.
How the hell
did Dupree end up
on the wrong island?
Dupree was born
on the wrong island.
MAN:
Gentlemen,move this out of the way,
please! We're coming through.
Thank you very much.
Right this way, please.
Careful with the boxes.
Ten minutes ago
those were supposed to be out.
Where's Mr. Thompson?
MOLLY:
Dad, this is incredible.
We really didn't
need all this.
I know. But I did.
NEIL:
Dupree!There he is.
on the wrong island?
DUPREE:
Guys, I knowI'm in the doghouse,
but come on.
These islands,
Maui, Cowee, Lenowi,
very easy to get mixed up.
Don't worry, you're here.
Don't worry.
I got my head
turned around.
I'm sorry.
Come here, you big lug.
All right.
(PEOPLE CLAPPING)
THOMPSON:
Thank you.Folks, this is
a bittersweet time for me.
A day that Molly's mother,
rest her soul,
and I used to dream about.
On one hand, I'm inheriting
a new son-in-law,
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
but on the other,
Daddy's losing
his only little girl.
Now, when Molly told me
that she was gonna marry Carl,
I said, "Who?"
And Molly said,
"Daddy, he works for you."
I said, "Honey, I've got
But then I started to worry.
Maybe he was some young buck
trying to push me aside,
grab the reins of my company.
And then I met Carl,
sitting in cubicle 26.
And I said,
"You know, I like my chances."
So, ladies and gentlemen,
will you raise your glass
to Molly and Carl,
to health and happiness.
He's funny.
Cheers.
ALL:
Hear! Hear!ALL:
One! Two! Three! Carl!Hey, everybody,
listen up.
Now, wait.
Just wait.
In honor of your
impending nuptials,
I want to perform a feat
that I've used to mark
every special occasion
in our lives since
at least high school.
Ladies and gentlemen,
birds and bees,
I present to you
the Flaming Tornado!
(ALL CHEERING)
Honey, look who's here!
Hi!
This is just
a safety precaution.
Okay. Little room here.
Need to focus.
Barkeep, your finest
Kentucky bourbon,
low-grade tequila...
I've got a mai tai.
Don't let him start
till I get back.
...lemon slices, a funnel,
and an open flame.
NEIL:
Yeah!(PEOPLE SHOUTING AND CHEERING)
Okay. Funnel.
ALL:
Tornado! Tornado!Open flames.
Carl will have the honor.
Will the groom
please light the liquid?
Carl, grab this.
Carl, you got...
Where...
What are you doing?
Do the Tornado.
Maybe later.
NEIL:
No!No.
What are you doing, man?
No, we'll do it later.
Do it now!
MAN:
Carl has to be here.Now!
Let Carl come and do it.
Dude.
I'm doing the Tornado, b*tch!
Do that Tornado!
CROWD:
Neil! Neil! Neil!(NEIL BLABBERING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
GIRL:
Oh, my God!(SHRIEKING)
Yo, Tornado Man.
This one is for you,
my brother.
Nice one.
Well, I guess this is where
the road ends for you and me.
We had a good run,
though, didn't we?
Hey, Dupree, I'm not dying.
I'm just getting married.
Yeah, I know. Hey, listen.
I feel bad about, you know,
earlier when I was laughing
like a hyena
when Mr. Thompson
was making all those
jokes at your expense.
Well, they weren't
really at my expense.
No, no, no, they were.
It was a shot
across your bow.
Yeah? You think?
It wasn't that funny.
I mean, it was,
but I shouldn't
have been laughing,
'cause I'm your best man,
and I don't want this guy
getting in your head, okay?
'Cause he's in my head
a little bit.
It just...
It's... I don't know.
I don't want you to forget
that you're bringing something
to the table, too, okay?
You've got that...
That Carlness.
That little
twinkle in your eye.
And you're giving it
to me right now.
That little glint
that says they're
never gonna beat you.
They can't lay
a glove on you.
And don't forget that,
because you can't put
a price tag on it.
End of sermon.
Well, thanks, buddy,
I appreciate it.
But, you know, I really think
he was kidding around.
Yeah.
Guy's got a kind of
a weird sense of humor.
Besides, it's not like
for the rest of my life.
You know,
I got plans of my own.
There it is.
There's that Carlness.
They can't lay
a glove on you,
can they?
God, I admire you.
I really do.
That's no secret.
(SIGHS)
Thanks, buddy. Thanks.
Oh, I wanted to give you this.
You know,
for being my best man.
You got to be shitting me.
It's a flask!
You like it?
I love this.
Good.
Hey, you know, that reminds
me of the groomsmen outfits.
I really like them,
but I'm wondering,
should mine
be a little different
since I'm the best man?
What did you have in mind?
Just like a little
insignia or a patch.
I don't want
people to be confused.
I'm talking
something understated,
like a lightning bolt.
Nothing big.
Lightning bolt?
Something.
Could be cool.
Yeah. I like it.
Although, it is going
to be listed in the program
that you're the best man.
Really?
Uh-huh.
That's pretty good. Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That should be enough.
Now, is Neil gonna be
okay over there?
I'm seeing him,
and it looks like
the tide's coming up.
Neil's gonna be fine.
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
Bingo!
MOLLY:
Oh, wow!How many thank-you notes
do you think we have to write?
Well, I counted 111.
Honey, I'm gonna do
half of them.
Oh, come on. Really?
No, no, no. Really.
Dear whoever gave us
this platter, I love it!
Finally a platter.
Just what I always wanted
ever since I was a little boy.
(CHUCKLING)
And now you've made
That's perfect.
And then you write
and you're done.
Yeah.
And this is Molly.
Molly.
We can't get
You've reached the Petersons.
So, if you
leave a message...
Wait for the beep.
...we'll get back to you
as soon as we can.
All right...
Have a beautiful day.
All right, let's do it again.
No. That was really cute.
I called you Carl.
It was really funny.
Molly, it was cheesy.
(LAUGHING)
No, it wasn't cheesy.
Give it to me.
It's totally cheesy.
Give me the machine.
No! It's good cheesy!
Give me the machine.
No!
PACO:
ID?Hey, married guy,
how you doing?
Good morning, Reese.
ID?
Top of the morning, Paco.
So, we're back
from the honeymoon.
Oh, yeah, we...
We had a great time, sir.
It was just...
It was really wonderful.
So I took a look
at your proposal
while you were gone.
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"You, Me and Dupree" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/you,_me_and_dupree_23881>.
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