You Don't Know Jack

You Don't Know Jack

Man:
You know, she

had that same look

Of agony on her face,

Just like mother.

The same one mother

had, you know?

- Woman:
Yeah.

- Man:
You bore witness to it.

Excruciating,

Awful waiting.

She was

struggling to die.

Yeah, well, it's not

living, you know.

- Woman:
No.

- t's not being alive.

You know, they started doing

this in europe already,

But not here.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Holland.

- Holland.

Never here.

Way too puritanical here.

I don't know why I didn't

think of this sooner.

I was limiting myself.

It'll be your own field

of specialty, jack.

You're gonna need some

business cards, you know?

We'll be swinging

singles again,

Just like when

we were in our prime.

Remember those two

nurses we were dating?

Two nurses?

Oh, that was me, not you.

Scratch that.

You know, you could

grab a box, jack.

- t wouldn't hurt you.

- Well, I'll get the door

Then I'll-

I'll come back out.

Yeah, the best thing about

living in my storage room...

( sniffs )

ain't bad...

It's a short commute.

( sniffs )

ain't bad.

- ( engine stops ) -

( car door opens )

You left

your varsity jacket,

Your grandmother's afghan and

your nose hair clippers.

That's the last time I'm cleaning

up after you, neal nicol.

Hi, jack.

- remember her being much

happier at your wedding.

Cut.

- Ante up.

- Yes, dear.

- ( coins rattle )

- 'm in.

Oh, by the way,

neal, mazel tov.

You're gonna bean ex here soon.

How's it feel?

Like losing 138 lbs

without having to diet.

( guys laugh )

Obitiatry, stan.

The doctoring of death.

What,

in suicide clinics?

Really? 'm a doctor.

You want me exiled to boca raton?

Come on. Come on.

Planned death is gaining acceptance

All over the world.

Why not here?

Can we, for christ's sakes,

just play cards, please?

Because you can't put those

decisions in the hands of patients.

Well, whose hands are

we gonna put'em in?

Doctoring's a healing profession.

I can't even...

Doctoring's

a death profession too.

Medicine, medicide.

- Cards, stan?

- Uh, three.

That's 10 in a row.

That's 10 in a row he folds.

You know you're allowed

to bluff once in a while.

- don't bluff.

- The guy is a study in pure non-fiction.

- Let him alone.

- Yeah.

You know I love you, jack, but most of

your colleagues think you're a nut.

Remember they used to call you

the "screwball pathologist"?

Would you save me the schpilkes and

stay retired for crying out loud?

I'm not retired.

Retired means one is

no longer occupied

With one's profession.

I may be unemployed,

but I am occupied.

- Stan:
Eight.

- King high. It's yours.

- And it's your deal.

- know it.

- What?

- My- My hands are grea.

- With what?

- have pizza fingers.

- Pizza fingers?

- You ever hear of them?

Woman on tv:
At the oak hill

care center in farmington hills

Where david rivlin, a

38-year old quadriplegic

Who's been confined

here for three years,

Has asked to be taken

off of life support.

The michigan courts have

yet to make a decision.

Mr. Vlin, who sustained

a spinal cord injury

During a body-surfing accident

almost 20 years ago,

Tried desperately

to live on his own

Until the cost of live-in aides

became too much for him.

The state would only

offer rivlin...

- ( cartoon music playing

) - ( screeches )

( phone ringing )

- Yeah?

- Woman:
Turn on channel 7.

No, I'm-

I'm watching sylvester.

- Hurry up. - t's the one

where he chases the frog.

- Do it now.

- Why?

You see this man?

He's being kept alive against his wishes.

Jack:
Oh, yeah.

Oh, margo.

- Margo.

- Yeah?

Look what we got here.

A veritable gold mine.

Here, look.

- ( clatters ) - Oh, excuse me.

I'm sorry.

- That's all right.

- t's a veritable plethora.

- Look at all this stuff.

- Woman:
Yeah, it's real metal.

- These things too?

- Margo.

What does this have to do with Mr.

Rivlin?

- What is that?

All right. - Okay?

- That's a motor.

- Margo:
Whatever.

- What else?

- think...

- You wa those bolts?

- Let's take the whole shebang.

- Okay. Okay, is this it?

- 'll give you the whole thing for $15.

Uh-huh.

How's about $10?

You know, this is

what you do it for,

To be able to put your

stamp on medical history.

A word to the wise: Be careful

where that sh*t'll kill you.

( hands clasp )

Thanks, neal.

AA I'll be home for christmas...

AA:

"groundbreaking.

"today we have some...

What we're doing here today

Is groundbreaking.

It will- t's gr-"

You know a better word

for "groundbreaking"?

Why don't you try

to relax, jack?

I mean, he asked to see you, so

you could make him understand.

- Oh, for god's sakes.

- t's just a demonstration.

So I should go in there and

not say anything, baby?

- s that better?

- didn't say that.

Just stand there, look at

him and do a mime show?

He wants to understand

how you're going

- To help him end his life.

- know why we're going to see him, margo.

I'm asking if you know another

word for "groundbreaking."

- ( dings ) - So I'm

hearing different things.

I have a source that says the

oakland county prosecutor

- s gonna intervene.

- Woman:
Seriousl Mr. Lessenberry,

They do not pay me

nearly enough money

To comment

on local politics.

I understand that.

I'm not asking you to comment on politics.

I'm asking you if you've

had any communication

With the prosecutor's office.

Woman:
We are a hospital.

We provide medical care.

( heart monitor

beeping slowly )

Jack:
My mercitron

machine, david.

I built it

just for you.

You see...

We have a monumental

opportunity here, david,

To not only...

End your own suffering

But to give

your death a meaning.

By providing your organs

To more useful citizens,

You will be

benefitting society...

Immeasurably.

Just so you know,

We're gonna offer them up

On a first-come-

first-serve basis.

( clears throat )

Now...

I don't know

if you know this,

But I cannot give you

the injection myself.

It's illegal.

But you can release

these solutions

On your own.

The saline drip is gonna

Activate the thiopental.

This is gonna

put you to sleep

And set off this timer.

You'll fall

into a deep coma

As the lethal dose of

potassium chloride

Stops your heart.

Uh, I know you have

no motor skills,

So I added this.

You can move you head

slightly side to side.

Don't do it now, but

I'm gonna place this

Between your teeth.

Put it in

and move your head.

Very simple- Move

your head side to side

Just a little bit

and it goes.

- The time comes, you just let

your teeth do all the work.

- ( alarm beeping ) -

this is outrageous.

- Jack:
No it's not.

- Get that thing out of here now.

- He's just receiving new information...

- Jack.

...So he's bound to react.

Just give him a chance to calm himself.

Could you just give him a

chance to calm himself?

Please leave immediately

of I'll call security

And have you thrown out.

- Please leave.

- 'm sorry, david.

I don't need

your security.

- Certainly don't need that.

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