You Don't Know Jack Page #3

argument than that.

( chuckles )

Hey, whatever I can do to lend

a hand tomorrow, let me know.

Oh, on this one, neal,

This first one,

I want it

to be me and margo.

- Just us.

- ( phone ringing )

Am I hearing a phone

Or is it my...?

I've gotta remember to

install one by the couch.

Your house.

Dr. Kevorkian's.

This is debby.

Oh, hang on,

miss good.

Janet good.

- Ooh, there we go.

- Hey, janet.

Janet:
I don't know how to say

this, so I'm just gonna say it.

I'm sorry.

I know it's the last minute,

But my husband ray-- he's

a retired police captain

And he feels

very strongly

That we can't use

our house.

- He feels that it would put us at risk.

- Jack:
Are you kidding me?

Lady, are you kidding me?

I've got margo

at the airport

Picking these

people up as we speak.

- You can't do this to me.

- Oh. Yeah, well,

I could make

some other suggestions.

There's nothing further to

be gained by talking to you.

What now?

Call the whole thing off?

- ( grunts )

- although...

( phone clicks )

( insects buzzing )

Okay.

I hope she like parks

and volkswagens.

( sighs )

Mr. Adkins:
Jack's made

all the arrangements

Mrs. Adkins:
Mm-hmm.

Good.

Margo's going to

Take me

to the airport shortly.

It's best for me

to go home,

Should anything happen

with the police later on.

Yes.

Jack:
Okay.

( beeping )

Mrs. Adkins:
Our gardener

comes on Thursday.

He's going

to plant marigolds.

Marigolds protect

the garden.

It's not too late, my dear.

You know?

We can stop right now.

You wouldn't offend me.

Do you understand?

You wouldn't offend me.

Tell me when

to flip the switch.

- Whenever you're--

- ( clicks )

Mrs.

Adkins:
Mmm.

Thank you.

Mmm.

( flatlines )

Jack:
"when a patient

in agony dies,

Then a doctor's true

calling implies

One should do what is best,

at the patient's request,

For humane, quick and

painless demise."

- ( camera clicking ) - (

police radio chatter )

( siren blares )

( door opens )

I told you

they couldn't keep me.

- Margo:
Come in, come in.

- They've got nothing to charge me on.

All right.

All right.

Man:
Has he no regard for

the sanctity of life?

How dare he call

himself a doctor?

What can we charge him with?

The medical examiner said

He had no choice but

to rule it a suicide.

I just can't stop

thinking about yesterday,

How it all went.

I guess somehow I just

thought the whole thing

Would be nicer.

Could be nicer?

- Yeah.

- How, "nicer"?

Does this look like

compassion to you, david?

Compassion?

He kills a woman and he

calls it compassion?

- ( silverware clatters ) - jack: If

this guy thompson wants to arrest me,

Let him arrest me.

I don't care.

I'm not a busy man,

you know.

Margo:
We have to

get you a lawyer.

- I don't want a lawyer.

- ( sighs )

Jack, they're threatening to

bring you up on murder charges.

- You need a lawyer.

- I don't know any lawyers.

There's this one guy I

see on tv all the time.

You're gonna get him.

He does these

Medical malpractice

commercials.

Is that a new wig?

Yes.

Why?

It's rum raisin.

I think it makes me look

a little more fetching.

What do you think?

Is that silly?

I don't know.

I-- I don't know.

I don't understand wigs,

but that's just me.

One day, you know, I'm

going to turn around--

Girls, I don't think the

good doctor sways to fancy.

- Hide the perrier.

- ( giggles )

- This way.

- How good can this guy be

If there's

no elevators?

Let me tell you something

about dick thompson.

He may be a card-carrying

member of the religious right,

But he doesn't have a pot to piss

in, charging jack with murder.

He didn't kill anyone.

Nullum crimen, nulla

poena sine lege.

- "no crime..." - "...

No punishment without law."

- Man:
Yeah.

- The man knows his latin.

( chuckles ) I also know

mcnally, the district judge,

And no way in hell is he

gonna let this move forward.

But understand, these

extremists will do

Everything under the sun to

stop you from doing this again.

They have no recourse

to stop me.

Did you videotape your

conversations with janet adkins?

- Yeah.

- Yes, I did.

- Why? - Good.

Good.

Well, you see, courtrooms

are theaters of conscience.

If we show your patients

pleading for your help,

If we lay out the gut-wrenching

emotions of it all,

That's your

golden ticket.

No jury will convict you

with me at your side.

- I simply do not lose.

( chuckles ) - ( chuckles )

He's a wolverine.

Wolverine.

- Wow.

- Yeah, I was a theater major.

I did an unforgettable

giles corey

In "the crucible"

senior year.

My mother ill has the

reviews in her pocket.

- Really?

- Man:
Yeah.

- I can't afford to pay you.

- Man:
Oh, you don't have to pay me.

I'll do it for free.

Let them keep trying to

prove this is a crime,

And we'll keep proving

it's a civil rights issue.

So that do you think?

She's a good judge

of character.

That's a wig

she's wearing.

- Oh.

- Rum raisin.

- Jack.

( laughs ) - I like it.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Jack:
The-- "the

morning drive show"?

Lessenberry:
Yeah, he wanted me to ask

you if you'd come on as a guest.

It's on 6:
00 to 10:00 in the morning.

It's got a big audience.

You know, people driving

to work listen to it.

He keeps it pretty light.

Well, I never heard of it,ord.

But I'll do it, sure.

black, white, red, brown,

feel the vibration...

Man:
Good morning, everybody.

This is "the bob bender show,"

"the morning drive show.

" today it's a special edition--

It's "the morning die show," because of

my special guest, dr. Jack kevorkian.

He's a local boy from

here in "de-troit."

You might know him better as dr.

Death.

I like to say he is the last

doctor you will ever need.

I actually heard somebody refer to you as dr.

Frankenstein the other day

Because of your rather active

organ-procurement program.

Well, I'm gonna take

that as a compliment,

Because anyone who's read

the story of frankenstein

Knows that he was

a benevolent man

And it was society who

made the monster bad.

Bob:
Well, I find it

impossible to believe,

But our lines are lighting

up and my producer tells me

40% to 50% of our callers

say "heyyou're right."

So maybe I shouldn't go on.

Let's quit while I'm ahead.

- Well, don't die on me now, doc.

- No no no.

Sorry, I had to say that.

Tell me a little bit about your mercitron,

- Something I hope the-- - see?

He's doing good.

- Yeah.

- Sharp as a tack.

Jack over radio:
It's good that

people realize what's at stake here.

I me,

self-determination is

A basic human right

And everyone

should have it.

By flipping the switch

on your suicide machine,

- Kind of like hitting this button here.

- ( button clicks )

Well, sure,

or carbon monoxide,

Which actually is a

quicker procedure.

And I can assure you

as a pathologist

Gas inhalation always

leaves the deceased

With a rosy,

colorful afterglow.

Bob:
Well, hopefully our

listeners aren't listening

In their garages this morning.

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