Mac & Devin Go to High School Page #3

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And to go to Yale,

you need a scholarship.

And my dad made a call to

the guy that he knows, but--

Well, I'm- I'm just really

having a hard time

figuring out the best part

of my high school experience.

Well, duh, that would be me.

Yeah, well, I know that.

Just think how amazing

it'll be when we're engaged

and we have matching

diplomas on the wall.

It'll be so fabulous,

I won't be able to stand it.

But no pressure though, babe.

Just don't f*** up,

or I'll dump you.

Just kidding!

Sort of.

Kidding.

Call me later?

Ehhh.

Do you know what that is?

It's the controlling

b*tch alert.

Attention, gentlemen,

please ask the ladies

to give us a brief moment.

We will only be a second,

b*tches.

Thank you.

Come on, now.

Come on, playa.

That- that go

for your girl, too.

I- Look at your girl

sittin' right there.

Come on, man.

F***, niggas, f***.

Okay, they gone?

Cool.

Now look, this is some

serious sh*t, man.

Devin is in some deep doo-doo.

There's a huge population

of controlling b*tches

on this earth

and they keep expanding.

And you know what?

It's our motherfuckin' fault!

If you a nigga like that,

and you got a b*tch like that,

get the f*** out now!

Either get 'em in line,

or kick 'em to

the motherfuckin' curb.

Amen, hallelujah.

Oh, yeah.

All right, yeah.

Ladies, y'all can

come on back now.

[ bell rings ]

Know what this is

I'm filling out?

An order for some

medium-sized condoms?

No.

These are your expulsion papers.

Expulsion for what?

Oh, well let's see.

Breaking and entering,

possession of a narcotic.

Narcotic?

Fool, last I checked, this sh*t

was legal in California.

You're done, Mister.

Your fifteen-year tenure

at this school is over.

Assistant Principal

Skinnfloot?

Yes?

Do we have a problem

with this student?

Not anymore.

Because you do know

that all expulsions

are handled by me,

personally.

Yes, but this student always

seems to get off with you.

Does he?

Uh, do you mind giving us

a few minutes?

But this is my office.

Yeah, do you want it

to remain your office?

Yes, Principal Cummings.

Oh, Mr. Johnson.

What have you done this time?

You are such the naughty,

naughty little student.

What am I gonna do with you?

You always make me have

to punish you so severely.

Always getting me riled up!

[ knock on door ]

We need to see who that is.

Well, you just meet me

in my office after school today

and we're gonna take

care of that little bit

of unfinished business, okay?

Hello.

I'm sorry, do you work here?

Uh, actually,

this is my place of business.

Can I help you?

I'm Miss Huck,

the new substitute teacher

for AP Chemistry.

I know a thing or two

about chemistry.

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