Pawn Shop Chronicles
Need to get the
Santa out of here.
Number one, it's spring.
It's not winter.
- Spring.
- So?
Secondly,
you don't even work here.
When are you gonna stop putting
all your sh*t all around
all over the place?
- Third..
- Mm-hmm.
Santa Claus ain't
even of African descent.
Oh, yeah, that's it there.
I was waiting for that.
ain't even a real person.
You can make him whatever
color you want to.
Charlie Brown real?
Well, hell, no.
Well, you ain't gonna
draw a picture
of a little black
kid, round head,
curly-squiggly hair
and call him a "Peanuts" comic.
Well, you could
if you wanted to.
Well, you could physically,
but you can't.
Yes, you could.
All right, fine. You could.
But you gotta get rid
of the damn Santa.
And I got news for you, too.
If some black man came down my
chimney wearing a red jogging suit,
I'd blow a hole right
through his red hat.
How's that..
What?
Oh, no, no. No, no, man.
I just need a loan
on my shotgun.
Well.. honest.
What.. what's wrong
with you kids?
Coming into a man place of business
pointing a shotgun at people.
I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to cause no fuss.
You know the pawn shop
business is a dangerous game.
Damn right.
My brother, he move out
West, opened a pawn shop.
- Found him in the basement, dead.
- I remember that.
Oh, yeah? What happened to him?
You're lucky..
I didn't blow a hole
through your head.
Well, how was you gonna do that
with your hands up in the air?
Shut up.
Give me the gun.
Well, I'll give you 20.
Oh, come on, now. Come on.
No.
- 40.
- No.
- 30?
- Nope.
- No.
- Come on, man. Sh*t.
Well, all right.
Hey.
Whoo!
Hey, man, is Vern there yet?
No, he late.
Hey, where you at, man?
Don't worry, I'll be
there in a minute.
You just keep his
ass there, huh?
'Cause I've been up for three
days since we smoked that sh*t
and I'm beginning to
hallucinate, man.
Ah! God!
On my way here,
when I was driving in,
I saw the King, man.
through town square.
I can't be robbing no people when
I'm f***ed up like this, man.
Hey.
Quit being a p*ssy. I'll be
there in a minute, alright?
You just keep Vernon there 'cause
I'm gonna f*** his ass up.
Sh*t!
Jesus Christ, man.
Thank God, man.
Where the hell have you been?
Oh, I had to pawn my
shotgun to get gas money.
Man, how the hell we gonna rob
Stanley without a shotgun?
- Well, how was I supposed to get here?
- You stupid f***!
How was I supposed to
get here without gas?
I would've come and
picked you up, dumb-ass.
Listen, don't you think this whole
robbing Stanley thing is stupid anyway?
And why the f*** we gotta
meet out in this field?
You are so f***ing stupid, man.
'Cause it's top secret
sh*t, that's why!
top secret meetings, huh?
Why are you so damn worried
about the gun anyhow?
There's three of us
and only one of him.
We just go in there,
we beat him down,
we take the meth, we
get out of there.
- It's easy.
- You're so stupid, man.
- What?
- The guy is a f***ing geeked-out,
hillbilly, drug-cooking,
dumb sh*t.
You don't think he has a
f***ing arsenal of weapons
laying around his f***ing house?
You don't think he ain't got his head
out the window every five minutes
peeking 'round to see
what the f***'s going on?
You know this sh*t f***ing
makes you paranoid, man.
Speaking of dope, man,
you got any on you?
Hell, no.
That d*ckhead at the pawn shop
only gave me 20 on the gun.
So I only got enough for gas..
What the f***, man?!
Sh*t!
What the f***, man?
That son of a b*tch stole
$80 out of my sock drawer.
- No, he didn't.
- Bullshit!
Randy, he didn't
f***ing take sh*t.
- Vern didn't steal anything, man.
- How the f*** do you know?
Because he just pawned
the goddamn shotgun
so he could put some f***ing
gas in his car, man.
And he didn't have
no meth, either.
So clearly, he ain't
got no extra cash.
Huh.
Well, sh*t.
Wait,
he pawned the shotgun?
How the f*** are we
supposed to rob Stanley?
I don't know, Randy.
F***, man, why you gotta
go and run Vernon over?
I mean, sh*t, what makes you think
he stole it in the first place?
Lamar told me he took it.
- Oh, Lamar did.
- Mm-hmm.
You mean the crackhead?
You mean that lying,
f***ing cheating thief?
That Lamar?
You stupid f***! He gets
his hair cut at Cook's!
- He said he seen Vernon take it.
- That don't mean sh*t, man!
I mean, Jesus Christ!
You f***ing..
You ran f***ing
Vernon's ass over, man.
You could've f***ing
asked him first.
What the f***?
Instead you trust
some dude's word
with the name of
f***ing "stinky nuts."
Made sense at the time, alright?
Man, we gotta do something.
We gotta take him to a
hospital or something.
This gurgling sh*t,
this ain't normal, man.
I ain't taking his ass nowhere
- Well, we can't just leave him here.
- Move.
See? He's fine.
Let's go get my
money from Lamar.
Good afternoon. I'm
Connie Swanson.
And I'm here with a man who
helps save lives by day
and is the King by night.
- Hi.
- Meet Ricky Baldoski.
He's a volunteer emergency medical
service technician by day
and, as you can probably guess,
does Elvis tribute
shows by night.
- That's right. I'm Ricky Baldoski.
- Yes.
Tell us who some of your
big influences are, Ricky.
Well, definitely.
The King, um, King,
and the King.
- KKK all the way.
- You can catch Ricky..
- Wait, no..
- ..This weekend
performing his tribute
performance to the King.
I'd like to just say one
word:
God bless America!Irwin County Fair.
Back to you, Michael.
Lamar!
You lying bastard.
Vern didn't steal
my money, you did.
No, I didn't.
Bullshit.
I know it was you 'cause it
sure as hell wasn't Vernon
and you're the one who lied.
Oh. Oh, man.
I guess it was me, man.
What the..
I f***ing knew it.
You give me my money, you
lying piece of sh*t.
- I don't have it.
- What?
Where is it? Where is it?
It's in the air, man.
I smoked it up.
$80 since this morning?
What the f***?!
We gonna kick your ass, Lamar.
We gonna f*** you up good.
'Cause of you, old
Vern got killed.
And that sh*t ain't cool, man.
There's getting high
and there's getting a
brother f***ing ran over!
God damn it, bro! Kick his ass!
I oughta kick your
f***ing ass, Lamar.
Randy, don't, man.
You got a gun, huh?
- Huh?
- No.
- We need a gun.
- Hey, hey, we could ask Don.
Don will have a gun.
Yeah.
We gonna go get the gun and we
gonna come back and shoot you.
- Right?
- Don't you steal sh*t while I'm gone.
Okay?
Okay.
Is that my Styx
CD in your pants?
- Huh?
- God damn it. Yeah.
F***, Lamar!
Put it back, Lamar.
- I ain't f***ing around.
- Sorry, man, it was right here.
I was warming it.
It's your f***ing ass now.
You're f***ing dead, Lamar.
Kick his f***ing ass, Randy.
What the f***?
What, you ain't gonna
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"Pawn Shop Chronicles" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Oct. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/pawn_shop_chronicles_15691>.
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