Stuart: A Life Backwards Page #2
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2007
- 92 min
- 960 Views
You got make it more exciting.
Do it backwards. Like a murder mystery.
Like a best-seller.
You know, like what Tom Clancy writes.
Yeah! How'd I get to be like this?
What murdered the little boy I was?
Make them nine-to-five sit up.
I mean, you put ten socks in the washing
machine and only seven come out.
Where do they go?
- Stuart?
- I'll tell you another thing and all
- Stuart?
You take the machine apart and it ain't in it neither.
- Stuart?
- What?
- What's this?
- What?
- This.
That, Alexander, is a lice.
The main place you get those
is around your bollocks.
That lice, that'll grow.
Scabies are smaller and they go under the
skin and live there, literally nibbling.
It took five and a half hours for our convoy
to do the 50 miles from Cambridge to London.
above 30 miles an hour.
Hey, Buckingham Palace.
What a load of bollocks! Huh!
Who needs a queen?
- Oh, no, no, no, no. No, not like that.
- What?
Use this, right? Underneath, yeah?
Here you are.
You lose more heat that way
than you do that way.
Ruth and John need these:
eyes on the back of their heads!
End [indiscernible] police state now!
People are being wrongfully imprisoned
for working in a charity
to help the homeless.
Charity workers in prison because
of a miscarriage of oh, f*** off.
Charity workers in prison because
of a miscarriage of justice.
Okay, listen up, everyone!
Okay, everyone! Listen up!
Everyone, please. Quiet, please!
Everyone, we need you to move this way,
thank you.
Wait a minute, hold on, hold on. Why?
This is a peaceful protest.
Yeah! F***ing why?
You can't cross these brass flags if
the Home Office doesn't want you to.
That's social f***ing fascism, that is!
And then we must put a fence in behind
you to ensure you're not trespassing
and ones on either side to protect you.
- What?
From the public, sir. They might step on
you. And a fence in front just in case
during the night you roll onto
the road and get run over.
Oh, I see. So you mean
to cage us in completely.
I didn't say cage, sir, no.
That was your word.
Do prisoners really get wages?
Yeah.
You mean a lot like normal people?
Yeah, make a f***ing fortune.
Millionaires coming out of the nick
every week.
You've been in a lot of prisons then?
Have I? F***ing hell.
How many?
Well, um...
Well, start off, when I was a nipper
there was Send Detention Centre,
Baintnow House, back to Send again,
Eriestoke, Norwich,
then I grew up and went to big boy prison.
Whitemoor. Aw, now that's
what I call a real prison.
You got everything there, mate:
terrorists, psychopaths, security threats,
murderers, manslaughters, crazies...
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