Charles Muley, A Therapist's journal

CHARLES (V.O.)

I have been working full-time as a therapist for 2 months now since graduating with my master’s in counseling. I enjoyed my classes and my internship at a university center. I went to UCC, the Umpqua Community college. Transferred after two years. At UCC, I took 3 psychology classes that are a 200-level set of courses in the second year, after basic writing and math classes. Umpqua Community College had a mass shooting on Oct, first, Thursday, 2015. A twenty-year-old shooter killed nine and wounded nine students. 2 police officers exchanged gunfire until the murderer, Christopher Harper Mercer died. However, with me studying there, I hoped to help those in mental sickness. But now that I've started work. I am feeling an immediate burnout.

I am constantly tired, having insomnia, nightmares, & trapped by a contract. Having the same 8 client hours structured every day, feel like every hour is a reset of my skills and that my work relies too much on the client and not my own efforts, feel like I'm not doing anything tangible, feel like I'm wasting my time. I am doing well by my clients but mentally I'm in a worse state than they are with all of this anxiety and depression about the job.

I'm getting my own counseling. Ironic, a therapist getting therapy.

My supervisor tells me, “This was to be expected. It is just how it is. But that it would get better in time. The problem doesn’t change or is solved, but your sense of resolution does.”

SETTING:
UCC CAMPUS

UCC is a 100 arc campus in a park-style setting. Roads winding in between perfectly leveled and cut grass. overview of the park in autumn with orange leaves dancing with the wind stemming from the roots of each tree. The tree’s trunk and roots look as though a coral reef’s exoskeleton. It is a brown bark wood. The sun shining yellow light at a 47 degrees angle. The time is around 10:34. Day: Sunday of February, 7th.

Speaking to my old professors, when I visit UCC countless times again because of homesickness. Near a gray castle building, adjacent to 5 brown ones off 30 yards away. This is the spot I caught Mr. Chawley today. We discuss my habitual crisis. The feeling stays, stunning into my flesh. I feel as though a burning hell is souring inside my chest and out to the skin. still there. What other careers have people with 3-year masters in counseling pursued? I feel like an idiot having worked so hard and got a degree that I despise now that it's in practice. Don’t work harder than the client is always #1, that's some advice you hear thrown around a lot in this profession.

INT:
CHARLES' APARTMENT

I get my notes ready and review my to-do checklist for each client (for reference I see 5-6 people a day, working 8 am-6 pm). I also put on a watch that I keep at work. At the end of the day, I remove my watch and leave it there, and set a firm mental boundary to not think about work while at home.

Watch off = me time.

EXT:
SIDEWALK TO CHARLES' APARTMENT

I blast loud music on my way home to mentally cleanse all of the people’s things I have taken in on that day. My earlobes ring afterward. Luckily, with this, I can open my front door and feel welcomed. I drop my suitcase, and flop into bed, sighing.

INT:
GYM

Working out helps the stress. As an early bird, I rise at 4:00 am and grind the weights at Breakthrough Strength and Performance. It is part of the suburban building areas in Redmund city. This area comprises different companies.

EXT:
CHARLES DRIVING OUT OF THE GYM. MEANWHILE, CHARLES SAYS (V.O)

The gym is touching the Dalles California highway, where the Smith Rock and the MT Jefferson mountains can be seen on the horizon.

I drive and love my Ford 150 pickup truck. Been using it for 8 years now. Ford Motor Company itself was the first source of motor vehicles affordable to the working class. The F-150 is a vehicle to drive and has luxury versions to rival some of the most expensive sedans. Unlike the heavier duty models, the F-150 can also deliver sedan quality rides while retaining the ability to carry or tow loads few sedans can equal. Pickup trucks evolved from strictly work vehicles to all-around use. Other examples include the Chevrolet/GMC and Ram trucks. I take my ford out in long strides out in the sunset, with 3 hours left in my day. I go to sleep at 11 at midnight.

INT:
CHARLES' OFFICE.

I walk him over to my desk. He explains to me he wishes to cancel the sessions. I urged him not to.

CHARLES (V.O)

I had to switch one of the clients. The names of the clients are confidential, so we’ll just call him Mr. Goodbye. Other names mentioned and associated have been changed because I am writing this as my biographical journal.

CHARLES:

“I am here to help at your utmost time of need,” I say

MR. GOODBYE

He pleads, “I‘ll figure something else out, so please just see this as a friendly end to this companionship you've given me. “

CHARLES:

“Well, I sincerely wish you the best of luck.”

EXT:
CHARLES' THERAPY OFFICE BUILDING

As I exit my work building, broken glass bottles lay around, every day new teenager hoodlums shatter a window, barge inside and steal a lamp, a watch, a pack of gum, a squishy rubber stress toy, whatever it might be. But every fucking day.

INT:
CHARLES' OFFICE. 1ST SESSION

Armandro Reyes is my first-order business. He is a man of high stature, with the stare of “ I'm Violent.” A resemblance to Tom Brady, but darker skin and black hair. He will fling the door open after I continuously remind him we must work on his abrupt manners. He gave me the genius idea of keeping the door open before he arrives.

ARMANDO with a mischievous grin on his face.

“So watch you mean to say, I am a troublemaker, Mofo, man you don't you wat you talk about.”

DIFFERENT DAY. CUT SCENES INTO DIFFERENT SCENARIOS FOR EACH SESSION.

One time, he stands up and knocks over a vase with the stress toy I handed him.

ARMANDO:

“uh, look man, Mara’s got me all sideways, she and her boyfriend tell me shit. I mean she knows she is mine, right, so why the hell is she rolling out with him?! I got money, I got looks. What's she want?”

CHARLES:

“Maybe you should move on.”

ARMANDO:

“I can’t move on that hard.”

CHARLES:

“Just stop thinking about her or just meet new people,” I suggest

ARMANDO:

“I can't do that. Why- she rip me off like that, I can't tell - I don't know. She's my girl. She wouldn’t do that.”

CHARLES:

“But, you just told me she is out with someone else,” I try to keep track

ARMANDO:

“She is, but she denies it.”

CHARLES. His face of worry contrasts mine of boredom.

“Way I see it, one of you should tell the other to break up.”

ARMANDO:

“Hey, am I fucking boring you!” he yells.

CHARLES:

“Not at all, I'm listening,” I say seriously.

2ND SESSION WITH DIFFERENT CLIENT.

After Armandro, Miss Shawnita Gardner is my next client. She sports black hair to her neck, with one side extending longer than the left side. Blue eyeshadow over her eyes.

SHAWNITA:

“I was an artist,“ she begins, “but I wasn’t practicing, so my mother ask, ‘what did we do wrong?’ I say, ‘You haven't done anything wrong.’ I don’t want to become all I thought. Mostly because of the experience of becoming all as a woman. So, I'd decide to practice something else. Then I remembered I heard about pyromania. So I thought. I will stop being artist because everyone has such talent already. I come up with doing telepathy and pyromania. I think and can put fire somewhere else. I can control the fire and place it somewhere around me. First I made these telepathic exercises and then pyromaniac exercises. Then put together, I call pyromany! I think about terror, fire, redness, marxism, and then I can hear the ambulance coming (chuckles), don’t laugh.”

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