On Golden Pond Page #2

off lookin' for strawberries.

I'll pay you. It may be

the beginning of something big.

You may become

a major strawberry picker.

Not if I'm bending over all the time.

I think you're tryin' to kill me.

I thought about it.

You needn't bother.

I'm living on borrowed time as it is.

Will you take your cheery personality

and get out of here?

I hope you're prepared to massage

my bent back this evening.

With pleasure.

Well, maybe I can lie down

to pick the berries.

Mornin', Ethel!

Hi, Charlie. Come on up and have

some coffee. You can take five minutes.

You got a letter

from Chelsea!

- The rest is just bills and junk like that.

- Go on in.

Gee!

Oh! Uh-oh.

I think I broke your door.

No, no. It's been that way

for months now.

Norman's supposed to fix it, but I'm afraid

it's not high on his list of priorities.

- Oh, God.

- Hi, Norman.

Norman, are you back already?

You barely left.

So? I move fast. Ran all the way,

picked that stuff, ran back.

- Let me see what you've got.

- I'll just dump 'em with yours.

Nope.

Not a single berry.

What's the matter with you?

Must have eaten them all.

No mail today, Charlie?

Holy MacKanolly,

I left it on the porch.

- How about bringin' it in? Can you do that?

- You bet.

- Glass of milk, Norman?

- No.

See ya broke

the screen door, Charlie.

It's just missing its little

"thingamabobbers" for the hinges.

- I could bring ya a couple from town tomorrow.

- Just be careful next time.

- Here it is, Norman. Drink it.

- Thank you, nurse.

Finish your coffee over here.

There you go.

There.

- What ya got there, Norman?

- I have no idea. I can't open it.

Here. Bite this, please.

- Oh, just his medicine.

- Oh, goody. What a swell surprise.

Nothing serious.

Just for his palpitations.

That's right, Charlie.

I have occasional heartthrobs.

Norman, we got

a letter from Chelsea.

Look at the

goddamn Orioles!

Baltimore's always

been a sneaky town.

Norman, she's coming

for your birthday.

Oh. How nice.

Yep. And she's bringing a friend.

She has the nicest boyfriend.

- Oh?

- They're coming together.

Then they're going on

to Europe for a while.

Oh, really? I don't want crowds of people

coming to my birthday.

I don't want crowds of people

watching me turn older.

Wait a minute.

It's not that Freddy person.

This is a different boyfriend

altogether.

What the hell's going on?

Detroit's disappeared!

Good God!

- What is it?

- Detroit's gone!

What happened to her husband?

What is it, Charlie?

I was wondering what happened

to Chelsea's husband.

It didn't work out.

Hey.

She says she's in love

with a dentist.

Does her boyfriend

know about this?

This is her new boyfriend.

Her new boyfriend is a dentist.

- That's who she's bringing here? A dentist?

- Yep.

Good God! He'll be staring

at our teeth all the time.

Shall we ask him

not to come?

No, we should have representatives

from all walks of life...

at my last birthday party.

Oh, Lord, this medicine should be

put away from all this hot air.

Why didn't

you marry Chelsea?

- You wouldn't let me.

- Oh?

If you had married somebody else,

I'd have allowed that.

- I didn't want anyone else.

- Oh.

- How old will you be?

- When?

- On your birthday.

- A hundred and three.

- Miss Appley was 97 in May. Isn't that amazing?

- Yeah.

- She died, you know.

- No.

Yep, last Tuesday.

We got a call,

in case any mail comes up.

Gave ya a forwarding address

for Miss Appley?

What's so funny?

- One of the lesbians expired.

- Oh! No.

- Which one, Charlie?

- Miss Appley.

Oh, well,

she had a good, full life.

Charlie said she was 97.

Ninety-seven?

Isn't that wonderful?

Puts us all to shame,

doesn't it?

There's something to be said

for a deviant lifestyle.

Well, thanks for the coffee, Ethel.

You still make

the best biscuits on the lake.

Thank you, Charlie. You must

come around when Chelsea comes.

- I haven't seen her in a long time.

- No.

- Well...

- Norman, Charlie's leaving.

- Good. Bye.

- Good-bye.

Watch out

for that screen door.

Norman! The loons are

teaching their baby to fly.

- Isn't that exciting?

- Listen to this.

"Retired people sought for handbill delivery.

Some walking involved."

I should call.

I can walk.

Is that why you came rushing back here?

To read those goddamned ads?

You want to know

why I came back so fast?

I got to the end

of our lane...

I couldn't remember

where the old town road was.

I wandered a way

in the woods.

There was nothing familiar.

Not one damn tree.

Scared me half to death.

That's why I came running

back here to you...

to see your pretty face.

I could feel safe.

I was still me.

You're safe,

you old poop.

And you're definitely still you...

pickin' on poor old Charlie.

After lunch...

After we've gobbled up

all those silly strawberries...

we'll take ourselves

to the old town road.

We've been there

a thousand times, darling.

A thousand.

And you'll remember it all.

Listen to me, mister.

You're my knight

in shining armor.

Don't you forget it.

You're gonna get

back on that horse...

and I'm gonna be right

behind you, holding on tight...

and away we're gonna

go, go, go!

I don't like horses.

- You are a pretty old dame, aren't you?

- Oh!

What are you doin' with

a dotty old son of a b*tch like me?

Well, I haven't

the vaguest idea.

I don't think you should do that

in front of Chelsea's companion.

Oh, pooh. I was just

talking to my friends.

Hey, look at you.

My, oh, my, you have on a tie.

Yes, I know.

I put it there.

Do I look all right?

I haven't overdressed, have I?

You look sexy. I'm gonna have to do

some pretty fast maneuvers to catch up with you.

I have some other ties.

You could come as Miss Appley.

Oh. Thank you.

"Welcome home, Chelsea"?

I see my birthday party wasn't

cause enough for celebration.

I just wanted our little girl

to feel welcome, that's all.

Norman, wouldn't it be nice

if we could all get along this time?

Where the hell are they?

I'm getting older by the minute.

They said they'd be here

when they get here.

- Is that what they said?

- Yep.

That's a hell of an attitude. No wonder

we don't have any grandchildren.

- What would we do with grandchildren?

- Toss 'em on our knee.

We're the last of the Thayers,

you know.

End of the line

for a damn good name.

Yep, and we're gonna

take it out in style.

Oh, my God.

They're here,

and I'm not even dressed.

- I look like an old character.

- You are an old character.

Go on upstairs and change,

if it'll make you feel better

- Be nice to them!

- Sure.

I'll explain the risks involved in being

late to an old man's birthday party.

Anybody home?

Too late. Move that flower vase

over to the other side of the table.

- Why?

- Just do it! For once, just do it!

- Hey! Oh, Mommy!

- Oh, darling!

What a treat.

Let me look at you. You look great.

Where is he?

Just inside the door.

Go ahead. He's waiting for you.

Hello, Norman.

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