On Golden Pond Page #3

- Well, look at you.

- Happy birthday.

Look at this

little fat girl, Ethel.

Oh, Norman!

You're as thin as a rail, isn't she?

- Sure.

- Oh! My darling, I'm so glad you're home.

I didn't think

we were gonna make it.

- We rented a car that explodes every 40 miles.

- Rented a car, huh?

- In Boston.

- What sort of car is it?

- I don't know. Green, I think.

- A green car.

- I meant, what sort of make is it?

- I don't know.

She doesn't know.

It doesn't matter.

Of course it doesn't matter.

I was just curious.

Well, I guess

I should have looked.

Let's see. It's very ugly,

and it breaks down a lot.

Ugly and breaks down?

Sounds like a Nash.

- Yes, well...

- Where's your friend?

You did bring your friend,

didn't you?

I knew there was something

I was forgetting.

- That's still on, huh?

- Well, as far as I know.

Come on in.

No one's gonna bite you.

- Mommy, Norman, this is Billy Ray.

- Oh?

How ya doin'?

You seem awfully young

to be a dentist.

- This is Billy Ray, Jr.

- I'm Norman Thayer, Jr. Where's...

His father is trying

to park the car.

This is a great surprise. You can call me Ethel,

and you can call Norman Norman.

I like your logic, Mommy.

I'm gonna go see if Bill has driven into the lake.

I'll put away

some of these things.

I hear you turned 80 today.

- That what you heard?

- Yeah.

Man, that's really old.

You should meet my father.

- Your father's still alive?

- No, but you should meet him.

Isn't this fun? Norman, why don't we

put Billy in Chelsea's old room?

Then he can look out

at the lake in the morning.

Why don't we put him out on the float?

He can look at the lake all night long.

- I'd like that.

- You'd be eaten alive by all the bugs.

- So?

- Norman, take him up.

- Show him where everything is.

- Come on, boy.

I just had a birthday too.

I turned 13 two weeks ago.

Oh? We're practically twins.

I'm so glad you're here.

He'll be right in. He actually thinks

you have to lock your car.

Mommy, Norman looks so old.

Oh, I don't know.

You look great though.

- Thank you. So do you. I love your hair.

- Thanks.

How's his mind?

Is he remembering things better?

Oh, he's all right.

He's all right.

Come on, Billy. Let me show you

the bathroom, if I can remember where it is.

Well, at least

he hasn't changed.

Nope, he's still impossible.

It means so much to him to have you here.

- Now he's got someone he can pick on.

- Come on.

- Thank you for coming.

- Thank you for inviting me.

Chels.

Well, you finally made it.

- Oh, hi.

- This is my mother. This is Bill Ray.

- Hello.

- I think I saw a bear.

No, no. You couldn't have seen a bear

out there this time of year.

There are some rather

nasty moths though.

This was a little big

for a moth.

If you really want to be scared,

wait till you meet my father.

- Hey, Dad!

- Hey, Billy!

- Dad, they do have indoor plumbing.

- Great.

Chelsea was just

bullshitting us.

I like to paint a rather

rustic picture of life on Golden Pond.

- It's rustic, all right.

- It's lovely rusticity.

Yeah, we've been peeing

indoors for 40 years.

- You must be Norman.

- Yeah, must be. Who are you?

- Bill Ray.

- Bill Ray? The dentist?

- Yes, sir.

- Wanna see my teeth?

I'd just like to tell you, sir,

how glad we are to be here.

Chelsea's told me

so much about you...

your lovely wife and your

wonderful place on the lake.

We're very pleased

she's brought us here.

I'm frankly surprised

Chelsea could find the way.

Well, she's here, Norman,

and that's what's important.

Do you visit your parents?

- No, sir. My parents both passed away.

- I see.

Then you have a good excuse.

- Norman, please.

- Norman, why...

What? Am I not allowed

to speak to our guests? Is that it?

They're afraid

I'm going to embarrass them.

Well, I'm gonna go say hello to the lake.

Anybody coming?

Me. I never seen anyone

say hello to a lake before.

- Mommy, you coming?

- Yeah. Want to take the boat?

- Boat? All right!

- Bill, aren't you coming?

Where? Outside?

That's where the lake is.

Coming, Norman?

No, I think I'll just sit here

and enjoy the quiet.

- I'll stay too.

- With Bill.

- The screen door's broken.

- Really? Norman will fix it.

- I love your house.

- Thank you.

It's not for sale.

I don't want to buy it.

I just like it.

It has

a charming ambience.

How does it feel to turn 80?

Twice as bad as

it did turning 40.

Yeah. I know what that's like.

I turned 40 five years ago.

Forty-five now.

- Norman?

- Huh?

- Do you mind if I call you Norman?

- I believe you just did.

I don't want to press.

What should I call your wife?

How about Ethel?

That's her name.

Ethel Thayer. Sounds like

I'm lisping, doesn't it?

Ethel Thayer.

Almost kept her from marrying me.

Wanted me to change my last name to hers.

- What was that?

- I don't remember.

I think I'll

start a new book...

so I can finish it

before I'm finished myself.

Maybe a novelette.

Maybe something from

Reader's Digest Abridged.

Here's Treasure Island.

- Ever read this book?

- Oh, yeah, that's a great book.

I'd highly

recommend that one.

- No need for that. I've read it myself.

- Yeah?

But my mind is going,

so it'll all be new to me.

That son of yours

ever read this book?

I don't think so.

Your son hasn't

read Treasure Island?

No, but I intend

to have him read it.

His mother's been

the real force in his life lately...

but I intend to

eradicate, you know...

some of

the dishevelment.

Actually, things are coming together

very nicely for me lately.

I'm beginning to feel

very good about myself.

Meeting Chelsea

was a major...

thing and...

We have a very

kinetic relationship.

It's very positive.

I'm sure you'd be pleased.

- What do you charge for a filling?

- Hmm?

You're a dentist, aren't you?

What do you charge for a filling?

- It's generally $40.

- Forty dollars? Good God.

Norman?

We'd like to sleep together,

if it's all right with you.

What do you mean?

We'd like to sleep together

in the same room...

same bed... if it's

not offensive to you.

- All three of ya?

- No, just two.

You and Billy?

No.

Not Chelsea and Billy?

No.

That leaves

Chelsea and you then.

That's right.

Why would I find

that offensive?

You're not planning on doing

something unusual, are you?

No, no.

Just, you know...

Ah, doesn't seem too offensive

as long as you're quiet.

Thank you.

Chelsea always slept

in the same bed with her husband.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Ethel and I do. We sleep together.

Been doin' it for years.

- Sure, yeah.

- I guess I'd be...

delighted to have you

abuse my daughter under my own roof.

Would you like the room where

I first violated her mother?

Or would you be interested

in the master bedroom?

Ethel, your boy and I

could sleep out back.

You could do it right here

on the hearth. Like that?

- You're havin' a good time, aren't you?

- Huh?

Chelsea told me all about how you like

to have a good old time with people's heads.

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