White Mischief

l'm not going to Africa without capital.

As your agent, l shouldn't

advise you financially.

Then don't.

Frankly, Sir Delves,

the estates are a reliable source

of income, particularly at this time.

l know Courtney agrees with me.

To sell may not be exactly prudent.

- Who is Courtney?

- Your accountant, sir.

Oh.

After all, the land has been

in your family for centuries.

What if we lose the war?

Have you though of that?

Lose the war, sir?

Ah, Diana.

Morning, Jock.

- How was the ride?

- Marvellous.

- Morning, sir. Sorry about your lawn.

- The gardeners will deal with it.

Well, here's to love.

Very funny.

- You...don't think he's rather old?

- l like older men.

They have more money.

Oh, no!

My mother married for a title.

Look what happened to her.

l'm not your mother, thank God.

lt closes most of

your options, that's all.

You're a man,

you like wars. l don't.

Kiss me, Hughie.

Now tell me you love me.

l love you. You know l do.

Then wish me luck.

Here's to lions, tigers, and rich men.

- There are no tigers in Africa.

- Aren't there? What are there, then?

Um, ostriches, baboons, hyenas.

Well, here's to all of them.

And to respectability...at last.

Nice shot!

Go on!

Take it! Take it!

Get moving, damn you!

Hook him by, man.

Where's the ball?

- Bad luck, Gilbert.

- Where is it? Can't see a thing!

l think we won.

Good game, what?

What was the score?

Look what that horse did

to my trousers!

Come along, Gilbert.

Forget about your Maasai

and come have some fun, hm?

# A is for Alice who does nothing right

# B for the lover

she yearns for each night

# C is for Colvile

who's gone off his head

# D is for de Trafford

who hates being wed...

ldina, don't be ridiculous.

You were my wife!

- Besides, l want to sleep with Alice.

- l'm sleeping with Alice.

Come on, Raymond, you've been

sleeping with her for weeks.

Who is it going to be?

- # I is Idina, so fragiIe and fraiI...

- Gilbert.

This is frightfully unsettling.

Doesn't anyone want to f*** me?

Go on, Gilbert. She's a nice woman.

- No.

l expect it will have to be me, as usual.

Oh, come on, Joss.

Blow again.

- Are you happy?

- Of course, darling.

Jock!

Jock, what are you up to?

Still selling off your estate

to pay for your racehorses?

l decided

l'm not much use in England.

l can serve the war effort

better here with my farms.

Producing food for the troops.

This is our most vital role in Kenya.

Champagne all right?

Splendid.

Diana.

Let me introduce you.

- Gwladys Delamere.

- How do you do?

- June Carberry. My wife.

- Hello!

She's absolutely ravishing!

Gerald. l must fly.

l have a council meeting.

We must dine together

when you're settled.

- Lovely to meet you.

- Come sit by me.

l've heard so much about you.

- What sort of council?

- She's mayor of Nairobi.

Good Lord!

- Sir Delves, your mail.

- Oh, thank you.

Do tell me everything.

London seems very far away.

May l say what a pleasure it is

to have yourself

and Lady Broughton as our guests.

l trust you had a pleasant journey?

Passable.

- Something wrong?

- No, no.

Excuse me. l have to send a telegram.

How is morale? Is it hideously low?

No. People seem frightfully optimistic.

Everyone is joining up.

Nice camera.

ls it one of those

new-fangled German ones?

l want to take photographs

of the big game on safari.

Talking of ''big game'',

there's one

of the biggest in the colony.

lsn't he splendid?

- Who is he?

- Joss Erroll. Lord Erroll.

Fourth in line to the Scottish throne.

- No money at all.

- Oh?

Confidentially, he's a frightful cad.

Divorced who knows how many times.

Rogered every girl in the colony.

- Practically.

My God! Alice de Janz.

What's she doing here?

When did they let her

back in the country?

She's one of the original

''Happy Valley'' crowd.

They supposedly

get up to all sorts of things

especially during the rainy season.

Joss is one of them, actually.

Why wasn't she

Iet in the country?

- She shot her husband, Raymond.

- In Kenya?

No...in the balls!

Joss?

Um, l don't want any champagne.

Joss?

- Jock, good Lord!

- Do excuse me. Come meet my wife.

Catch up with you later.

Diana, meet the most amusing man

in Africa, Joss Erroll.

How do you do?

Welcome to paradise.

May l take your photograph?

Of course. But why?

Jock insists l photograph

anything that takes my fancy.

- Is ours down there somewhere?

- l think so.

Can't tell where exactly.

That's Jack Soames' land.

He owns the next two valleys as well.

You must be awfully happy here.

Kiptobe.

lce.

l told Jock if Nairobi gets tiresome,

it might be fun to live on the farm.

What is it?

Oh, uh, coffee, l think.

Or is it cattle?

Not a hope.

- The ground is poisoned.

- Is it?

Soames has poured

his money into this place for years.

He might as well

pour it down the drain.

Do you sleep with your husband?

Occasionally.

l'd like to have a go. Nina?

No. But don't let me stop you.

He can shoot the pips

from a grape at yards. Ah!

- May l have a go?

- All right.

Now take care.

l'll go for the pawpaw.

Now, raise the arm. Lower it slowly.

When you reach the target,

squeeze the trigger.

- l think she should have the.32.

- Thank you.

The.45 may be too heavy.

Well done!

- Nice little gun.

- Keep it.

Thank you.

Good night.

- Good night, Jock. Breakfast at eight.

- Right.

l love children.

He's been asking about you all week.

- l've met men like Erroll before.

- l wish l could say l had.

- Did you enjoy Nina?

- Different.

Frightfully artistic...

if you like that kind of thing.

What's the most you've ever spent?

ln a good year, 1926, l think

it was, l spent a 120,OOO.

The first 80 was quite easy.

Unless you gamble,

the rest is sheer extravagance.

- Pleasant evening?

- Very.

- Any tips for tomorrow?

- Ask Erroll.

The problem with Kenya

is there are no decent breeders.

We should ship a few out from England.

War Office won't wear it.

- My God, there's Carberry!

He saw me in a show.

- l think he married me for my legs.

- What did you marry him for?

- His title.

Considering it's Sabilla's first term,

l think she did awfully well.

Mrs Whitley said she'll probably

go to pointe work next term, which...

l feel special ce soir.

Some steak tartare

with your blancmange?

May l have the next dance?

- l take silence as consent.

- Very convenient for you.

- Do you mind, Jock?

- No, you two carry on. l'm leaving.

- Are you sure?

- l have to be up at dawn tomorrow.

l leave her in your capable hands.

And what have we here?

Fresh meat.

Are you going to tell

your husband or shall l?

You wouldn't happen to have

a chocolate covered lobster?

l'm sorry.

- What's the matter?

- l'm hot.

l think l ought to go home.

l want to make love to you.

You can't say that!

You can't iust come out and say that!

How dare you?

Take me home!

Diana?

Come and sit on the bed.

l'm very proud of you, you know.

- Everybody was frightfully impressed.

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