White Mischief Page #2

- Were they?

Did you have an enjoyable time?

l'm very sleepy, Jock.

Would you?

You don't mind, do you mind?

No, of course not.

Turn around darling, let me look at you.

You're exquisite.

Ah! There's Gilbert Colvile.

Looking for Joss, l daresay.

He is peculiar-looking.

He went native.

Lives with the Maasai.

Joss is his only friend.

He must have been his fag at school.

- He's an interesting man.

- He's a bloody lunatic!

He's the richest man in Kenya.

Nobody can get more

than two words out of him.

- l'm sure l could.

- If you do, l'll buy you a new fur.

Parsimony or April Rain?

l don't trust fillies at this time

of year. They're unpredictable.

Here's a tip for you. Excuse me.

A thousand pounds on April Rain.

Jock, isn't that rather excessive?

You like fishing?

When l see his nails, l'm glad l don't

have to look at his feet.

Gilbert, let me introduce you.

- You know Jock. Diana, his wife.

- How do you do?

- Erroll?

- Erroll's not here.

Possibly on the course.

Gilbert, Jock's made a bet with Diana.

lf you say more than two words

he'll buy her a fur coat.

Really?

Five to one here.

fIag is up.

They're under starter's orders.

And...they're off...

..closely followed by April Rain.

ApriI Rain drawing IeveI...

April Rain's taking the front already.

..ApriI Rain haIf a Iength,

with Parsimony just behind him...

...ApriI Rain and Parsimony

fighting it out together.

Parsimony taking the Iead.

Parsimony drawing near...

- The Devil!

- Bad luck, Jock.

Would you like to spend

the weekend with me in Malindi?

Joss?

Who's for a swim?

Why don't you two go off on your own.

l couldn't move a limb.

Do you possess a swim costume?

What is it tonight, Abdullah?

Brown Windsor soup,

roast beef and Yorkshire pudding

plum duff and custard.

l think l'll skip the soup.

- l'm going to marry you.

- l'm already married.

The more l see of men,

the more l like dogs.

- Why, what happened?

- Nothing.

- You two seemed to get along.

- Not really.

He's losing his touch.

Diana, do tell.

ls he absolutely to die for?

At least that's what they say.

ls he really a hopeless philanderer?

Gwladys says he can't get on

with women, so he gets off with them.

You know Nancy Wirewater?

He rogered her

on the billiard table at The Norfolk.

Still, rather a weekend of ecstasy

than a lifetime of drudgery.

Don't you agree?

Jock, l'm going up to my room.

- l've had a long day.

- Diana.

- l've missed you this weekend.

- Have you?

Look on the verandah.

l've got something for you.

- What is it?

- l'm not quite sure.

Jock, it's adorable.

Oh.

By the way, Erroll telephoned.

He's invited us out to dinner tomorrow

night at the Djinn Palace.

Oh!

- Dance with me.

- No.

You do realise

what's going on, don't you?

What are you going to do about it?

He'll soon tire of her.

- How do you know?

- Because he's in love with me.

l'm in love with you.

Are you really?

And you're in love with me, too,

aren't you?

l don't know.

Diana!

Diana!

You've made your conquest, Joss.

Now l'm going back to my husband.

And his money.

This is the reason we're here.

Magnificent cattle country.

What do you think, McPherson?

lf the rains don't come,

we'll be in trouble.

They'll come.

- Are you all right, my dear?

- Yes, l'm fine.

- You're rather quiet.

- l'm fine.

- Not bored?

- No.

With prices as they are,

these cattle could be very valuable.

What else?

We could open up the South valley.

Grow some wheat.

What do you say, McPherson?

-Well, l don't...

- Don't be so gloomy!

l can do more here

for the war effort than in England.

A thousand acres

of wheat per annum, a thousand pigs,

2,OOO quid's worth of milk every month,

a ton of vegetables every bloody week!

l tell boys to start dishing now, bwana?

- Her Ladyship must've been delayed.

- Yes.

Let's hang on another five minutes.

Hm...

We're so alike, you and l.

You know, there used to be a saying

in Happy Valley.

''What happens to a

girl when she loses her looks?''

- Answer, ''Nothing.''

- Oh, Joss.

What happens when you've

bought and sold yourself so many times

there's nothing left?

We thought we had everything.

And we have nothing.

And if you asked, l don't believe

any of us could tell you why.

l told you this was paradise.

Well, it isn't.

Sometimes l think only Gilbert Colvile

has found a way to live with it.

- Why me?

- l want you for my sake, Diana.

l'm being entirely selfish.

l want you more

than l've ever wanted anyone

in my rather shoddy life.

l want you to save me from myself.

Joss...

l love you.

- You came home late last night.

- Did l?

Sorry. June insisted

we have another drink at the club.

Ah... Erroll there?

Yes. As a matter of fact,

he did drop by.

My God, l'm late. l promised June

l'd meet her at half past.

Look, l really must dash.

She'll be waiting for me.

l'll be back for dinner.

By the way,

l've booked us a passage to Ceylon.

- What?

- l need to look at some property there.

- We leave at the end of the month.

- The house is half-furnished.

We can't go away now.

Let's talk about it later, shall we?

l simply must dash.

l'll be late for June.

Jock.

Please, sit down.

Go and have a coffee.

l've come to ask you a favour, Joss.

- If l can do it, l will.

- You can.

lt's about Diana.

l'm not an unreasonable man.

l have never restricted

Diana's pleasures, nor do l want to.

She's a young woman

and she needs to be kept amused.

Unfortunately,

you've not been very discreet.

Damn it, Joss, the whole bloody colony

is talking about your affair with my wife.

l see.

We've known each other a long time,

and l think we respect each other.

l've always liked you enormously.

You remind me

of myself when l was your age.

Really?

As a friend, Joss,

l'm asking you to call a halt.

ln the long run,

it will be best for Diana, too.

- Have you spoken to her?

- No.

l'm hoping l shan't have to.

l'm hoping l can rely

on you to resolve the situation.

- Abdullah?

- Bwana.

l've changed my mind...

We won't be dining after all.

Tell Dwali to bring the car around.

Yes, bwana.

- Can l help you, sir?

- Yes.

Has my wife,

Lady Broughton arrived yet?

- l'll check.

- They're on the floor, Jock.

- Diana.

- Jock, what are you doing here?

- You said you'd be back for dinner.

- No, l said l was going out.

- You said you'd be back.

- Please, Jock. Don't make a scene.

- l'm going home. Are you coming?

- No, it's too early.

When will you be finished?

- l'll send Dwali to pick you up.

- No, l'll stay at the club tonight.

The club. Why?

l don't know how late l'll be.

- Is Erroll here?

- Yes, l think so.

- Joss.

- Hello, Jock, how are you?

Would you bring

Diana home tonight?

Yes, if she wants me to.

- As a friend, bring her home.

- Have you asked her?

l'm asking you.

l'm sorry, Jock, l can't do that.

Why not?

Because she's spending

the night with me.

l don't think he'll give you any trouble.

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