10,000 Saints

---

I've heard people say

that life is like a river.

And we're all just tiny minnows

struggling through the freeze,

the thaw and the flow.

Sometimes it's

a momentous event,

a birth or a death that

causes the currents to shift.

And sometimes it's

something as simple as

your best friend going

home early one night.

What the f***

is wrong with you?

What is wrong with me for

ever f***ing being with you!

- Listen...

- You make me so mad!

Will you listen to me? Please.

Sleep in the

f***ing greenhouse.

Dad.

Hey! Look who's still up.

Where's your best bud Teddy?

He went home hours ago.

He did, huh?

Here, sit down. Join me.

Take a load off, my man.

Okay.

I bet you're wondering

why Mom has me out here, huh?

Mmm.

Well, can I tell you

something, hmm?

I'd like to talk

to another guy.

You know mommy's friend,

Mrs. Donahue,

Did you know she's pregnant?

Hmm? She's gonna have a baby.

Oh.

The trouble is you know

who made her pregnant?

Me.

Mmm.

Is Mom pissed?

She is. I mean,

she's really pissed.

She doesn't think she wants

to be married to me anymore

and now she's gonna be even

more pissed that I told you,

but I think, you know, you

deserve to know the truth.

You're a big guy now.

What's gonna happen

to the baby?

Some babies are never

born at all, you know?

And some babies are born,

their parents take care of 'em,

some babies, you know,

somebody else raises 'em.

You know, like, uh...

What's that stupid TV show you

always watch with your sister?

With the two little black kids

and the rich white guy.

Oh, Diff'rent Strokes.

Right, okay. Well

they're adopted, right?

So, you know all

about that, right?

I mean, that's...

That's another thing I've

been wanting to tell you,

you know, but

your mom's like...

You know, it's

gotta be the perfect time.

But I think that you should

know, you know?

Know what?

The truth about your life.

You're adopted.

It's not a big deal.

I mean Aristotle was adopted.

Lee Majors, you know him,

The Six Million

Dollar Man, right?

He was adopted.

Tons of people are adopted

and you wouldn't even know it.

Yeah, so...

I mean, there it is.

Does that mean

Mr. Donahue is my dad?

No!

Champ, come here.

Come here, come

here, come here.

I'm your dad for

crying out loud.

I'll be your dad forever.

Get up here.

Get up here.

Can I sleep here with you, Dad?

Oh, I'd love that.

Mmm.

But I think your mom's pissed

enough at me, don't you?

So get your butt

back in bed, huh.

You'll be here

in the morning, right?

Mmm, we'll see what

tomorrow brings.

I often wondered

if Teddy hadn't left

so early that night,

maybe I would never have had

that conversation with my dad.

Maybe our lives would have

stayed secure and naive.

Maybe we would never

have met Eliza.

Maybe this whole story

would never have happened.

Oh, f***!

Oh, God damn it, Teddy.

Okay. Okay.

Thanks, man.

Jesus, we have

a front door, you know.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Guess what?

- What?

- My mom took off again.

Sh*t.

She got sh*t faced last night

and then when I woke up

in the morning

her and all her stuff

were just gone.

Well, I mean she'll come back.

She always does.

Yeah, well, f*** it.

I don't even care.

I'm all about trying

to get to New York now.

My brother had the right idea.

Well, I'm all about

getting some weed.

It's New Year's Eve

and we're bone dry.

Hey, Prudence, can

I borrow 40 bucks?

What happened to

your glasses, Teddy?

I got contacts.

Oh, you looked better

with glasses.

My, uh, my brother, he was

telling me about this college.

It's like, right

next to CBGB's.

It's free, it's just

really hard to get in.

You know college is gonna suck

just as much as high school.

Yeah, but we'll be in New York.

What's so great

about New York anyway?

No parents for one.

Speak for yourself.

Oh, sh*t!

- What is in there?

- It's resin.

I scraped it

out of my mom's pipe.

Well, at least she

left you something.

I think my dad's down

in New York too, actually.

What?

I thought you said

your dad died.

Yeah, that's what

my mom says, but...

Well, Johnny seems

to think she's full of sh*t.

Well, you know, this is beat.

Oh, sh*t.

- Check it out.

- What?

What are you doing?

Oh, dude, gross.

Oh, yeah, it's Sandy McCoy's.

I'm telling you.

Oh, great.

Oh, it's hitting me hard.

- Okay, I'm ready.

- Wait.

Is it panty or panties?

Oh, okay, so panties

is plural...

Shut up and take it.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, Mrs. H.

Hey, guys.

Mom, can I get a loan?

I already gave you

your birthday present.

Yeah, but I spent it.

Your father called again,

that girl Eliza will be

here at 6:
05 now.

She's taking a different bus.

Who's Eliza?

Eliza Caplan.

The ballerina's daughter.

Who's a ballerina?

My dad's girlfriend.

Apparently Eliza was

up at a ski trip

with some prep school girls.

She's making a pit stop

here before heading

home after midnight.

That's even more of a reason

I'll need some money.

Well, let's hope your dad

sent her with some.

You know, I don't even

know why he sent her.

I don't know her.

Well, maybe he's finally

reaching out to you

without getting his own

hands dirty, of course.

You know my dad is an

absolute f***ing a**hole!

I mean, what, I've seen

him a few times

in the last seven years?

And out of nowhere he

sends this f***ing girl.

Yeah, I mean like, your

average Manhattan girl is

way hotter than the cream of the

crop here in Lintonburg, so...

Dude.

You think that's...

I don't know.

Excuse me are you, uh,

are you Eliza?

Which one of you is Jude?

That would be, uh, me.

You don't look like a Prudence.

Oh, uh, no, Prudence, uh...

She's at home, I'm Teddy.

What's on your face, Teddy?

Is that some sort of Dracula

skate punk thing, uh...

Oh, right, um...

It's, we get it from...

We huffed turpentine.

Sh*t.

That is like, that's sad.

Happy New Year!

Wow!

Welcome to exciting Lintonburg.

Yeah, this should be

interesting, right?

You know we should probably just

crash Tory Ventura's party.

I mean, he's a total douche,

but he is a

major drug connection.

Everyone goes.

Yeah, unfortunately

it'll be filled with

like, jocks and metal

heads, I don't know

if your boyfriend's

one of those, but...

No, uh... No, I

don't have a boyfriend

and if I did he wouldn't be

a jock or a metal head.

So you guys strike me

as Misfits fans.

- Yeah.

- Yes.

- Yeah.

- No, we love Misfits.

I mean, we're into

all kinds of hardcore,

but, uh...

Are you? Nice.

Uh, my brother

actually has a band

in the East Village,

it's uh, Army of One.

They're like hardcore

but they're also like,

Straight Edge.

What's Straight Edge?

It's a whole other scene,

no drugs, no sex, no meat,

like drinking or weed...

Boring.

- Basically.

- Yeah.

That's pretty boring.

But, uh, their music's

pretty awesome.

I saw the Misfits once at

Irving Plaza when I was 11.

It was my first show with the

Necros and the Beastie Boys.

You went to a show

when you were 11?

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