10,000 Saints Page #2

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Yeah, I mean I didn't go alone.

Who did you go with?

Your dad.

He put me on his shoulders.

I could see everything.

It was such a good show.

Christ!

Look, how long are you

gonna keep writing, huh?

It's New Year's Eve.

No, I've got to

finish Eliza's essay

for the Taft Academy.

Yeah, well shouldn't she

do that herself, hmm?

She did.

And she answered the question

about her future goals

with a 250-word essay on her

ambitions to be a makeup artist.

- Mmm.

- Written in eyeliner.

I applaud her creativity. Yeah.

- You would.

- Mmm.

You got any New Year

resolutions, Princess Di?

- Yes.

- What are they?

To stop dating my dealer.

Why would you do that?

With me you get the

whole package.

Sex and drugs, huh.

Oh, yeah I forgot.

...clocks, and then 1988!

I wonder how Eliza's

doing in Vermont.

She's doing great. Mmm.

Well, if your children

are anything like their father

I should be very worried.

Mmm, my kids are good eggs.

You'd have to actually

be around them

to know that, wouldn't you?

Well, I've been around your

daughter for years

and let me tell you something.

She is no delicate flower.

Dude, did I piss you

off before when

I said that thing

about your dad?

Why would I be pissed at you?

It's not your fault

my dad's a prick.

Les is not a prick, all right?

I actually think he feels

extremely bad about everything.

What's everything?

Deserting you, uh...

Not being there for you guys.

You should have seen

him at Christmas.

He got drunk, all right,

and he was outside on the

balcony crying like a baby.

It was right after he

talked to you on the phone.

You were standing there

when I talked to my dad?

He was in my apartment.

I mean, don't you

think it's sad though?

No, what's sad is how he sent

you to be his little messenger.

Oh, my God.

Les would never do that.

In fact, he called me

a drama queen

and a sad story addict

for wanting to come.

No, you know my dad

is a sad f***ing story.

Not me, all right?

Whoo!

Did I say something?

No. I'll be right back, okay?

Can you hold this?

Jude!

Oh, sh*t.

Whose car is this, man?

Who cares?

Jude, are you just

gonna sit there

and be pissed off at the world?

Eliza was just

trying to be nice.

She was also being

pretty f***ing nosey.

Yeah, but she's also

pretty f***ing pretty.

Right? You've got to admit.

She's pretty enough.

Enough?

Wow, you're picky.

You think she's hot, don't you?

You got a boner for her, huh?

Will you stop, a**hole?

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Dude! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! What?

Dude!

I lost my contact, man.

Aw, sh*t.

I spent all my money on that.

Uh...

Oh, wait. Wait, is this it?

Jesus, you found it.

I'm gonna find the bathroom.

Are you gonna come back

to the party?

Teddy!

There you are.

I've missed you, baby.

- Hey, Annabelle.

- Annabelle?

Yeah, keep going just go.

Where are you going?

Oh, my God, that guy was

totally about to maul me.

Did you see that?

Why are you looking

at me like that?

Is that coke?

You can't be that country.

Have you never done it before?

I, uh, snorted some

ground up chalk as a joke once.

Well, your luck's

about to change.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, sh*t!

Whoa, whoa.

Oh, sh*t!

- F***er!

- Oh, I'm sorry!

What the f*** are you

doing in my car, huh?

I didn't! No, I wasn't!

You touching my herb in my car?

You f***ing leaf thief!

I wasn't!

Have you lost your

f***ing mind, Judy?

Uh...

Jude so hates

my guts, doesn't he?

And I came here to be friends

and as usual I've screwed it up.

No.

Jude's actually really sweet.

He just doesn't like

to show it.

Something tells me

you're the sweet one.

What's this?

Oh, it's um, it's a

token for the subway.

Get out!

Yeah, uh, my brother

gave it to me.

It's supposed to be good luck.

I'm sure.

Hey, can I ask

like a weird favor?

Depends.

If I gave you his address,

could you go see him

and get him to call me?

He doesn't have a phone.

Are you Indian?

What?

Uh, yeah...

Half.

Uh, Gandhi not Geronimo.

You have the most

amazing eyelashes.

Like the women in the

Bollywood movies.

Thank you.

There.

I like that better.

Oh, it doesn't matter to me.

I can't see anything anyway.

My contact fell out.

And where is it?

In my hand.

Wait, what are you doing?

I'm getting it moist.

Come here.

Which eye is it?

Is it in?

Think so.

I think so too.

On! On, my God.

Oh, f***.

Ahhh!

Three, two, one,

Happy New Year!

Jude!

- Jude!

- I'm f***ing over here!

Jesus!

You okay, man?

- Untie me.

- Jesus.

What happened?

Oh, sh*t!

What the f*** happened?

Oh, my God!

Let me get this out.

Where were you guys

all that time?

Uh, just, you know, talking.

Did she say anything about me?

No. No.

Just that maybe

that you hated her.

I don't hate her.

This whole night

is just f***ed up.

Pretty pissed, huh?

Sure you okay?

Yes.

We can begin with the panties

again if you want, man.

No, I have a better idea.

Come here.

What are you doing?

Freon, dude.

It's free.

You sure you know

what you're doing, man?

Yes, I've done it before.

I kind of just wanna go home.

- Jude".

- Jesus!

Stop being a p*ssy.

You owe me.

Okay.

Okay.

I think we're good.

Dude, dude!

Take it!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Oh!

Happy New Year's.

You're a dick.

- It felt good.

- Oh, sh*t!

Hey.

What the hell are you

two doing out here?

Jude!

Jude!

You Okay?

Are you okay?

What is it?

Oh, my God!

On, Teddy.

Teddy, wake up, honey!

Teddy, Teddy, honey, wake up!

Teddy!

Stay here, I'm gonna...

Don't move. Jude,

don't move, okay?

Don't move.

I'm gonna call an ambulance.

Jude.

And a happy

New Year's Day, New York.

Here's to your hangover with

this classic from Traffic.

Jesus Christ.

Lester's pad.

Hey, Harriet.

How'd it go?

You and Eliza have fun?

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, what?

What? Who?

Oh, my God!

What you want, baby?

I got what you need.

Who are you looking for?

I'm looking for Johnny.

His brother Teddy sent me.

You just found him.

You want a cigarette?

No, I'm Straight Edge

and Krishna.

Wow.

That's, uh, quite

a double bill.

Well, not really.

They complement

each other perfectly.

Clean living, transformation,

and transcendence.

It's funny you, uh,

having a brother that's like

completely opposite you.

We have different fathers but

we're more alike than we look.

Yeah, I don't really even

know him that well.

We just met actually.

So, you got no phone

in your place?

I've got no nothing in my

place. I'm squatting.

Rise and shine, Louie.

Need to use the phone.

All right, Johnny.

Jesus, you all right?

Yeah, thanks, man.

Mom?

What are you home now?

Where the hell have you been?

What?

What the f*** are you saying?

This is all your fault.

This is all your fault.

You f***ing c*nt!

For the Lord does not

abandon anyone forever.

The book of Jude tells us

that when Christ reappears,

he will not be alone.

But instead surrounded

by 10,000 saints.

Let us take comfort

in knowing that today

this number becomes 10,001.

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