10,000 Saints Page #6

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like a jumping bean.

She?

- So they told you?

- No.

No, I mean, I didn't

want to know.

For some reason I keep

calling it Annabelle.

Oh, well, your mom's

gonna be psyched.

You know, we're getting

you home before nine.

- No screaming, okay?

- Yeah.

All right. Okay.

I can't believe you, of

all people, ratted us out.

I didn't tell her!

She got the one

bill the hospital

didn't send to my apartment.

That's how far I've gone

to cover for your asses.

Anything for

a pound, right, Les?

Leave the actual parenting

to somebody who has the time.

Okay, you can blame me for

screwing up my own kids,

but this one you can't

pin on me, okay?

Thank you.

Well, I suppose I could've

kept better tabs on her,

if I just let her drop out and

smoke reefer all day, hey?

I don't smoke reefer anymore.

Okay, listen, you two are

peas in a pod, all right?

You know why she doesn't

tell you anything, Diane?

Because you try to control

every situation

you get your hands on.

And you know why she does that,

'cause you are totally

out of control, all right?

What, you been kicked out of

19 schools already.

Two, Les, two.

You love to exaggerate,

don't you?

Yeah, well no wonder

she wants you to go

to this Florence

Critteren facility.

Sh*t!

- Florence who?

- Oh, God.

Why would I need to go

to a facility?

It's the only place

that'll have you.

It's a place where

they take your baby.

No, no, they don't take it.

They don't sell it into slavery.

They don't.

They give it to loving parents

who can take care

of it properly.

You mean people like my dad?

On, God! Okay.

Okay, that's this, this,

what's his name?

- Johnny.

- Johnny, thank you.

Okay, so what I don't want right

now, is a big scene, okay?

Okay.

This is an adult situation which

we're all going to get through

like civilized people, right?

I've even had Nina make us

all a nice leg of lamb.

We're vegan.

So I hear you three

have been spending

quite a bit of time together.

Oops, sorry.

It's like they speak

in code, isn't it, Les.

They say, um, "Straight Edge,".

- Vaygan...

- Vegan.

Vegan's are from the

the planet Vega.

Vegan, sorry. Vegan, yeah.

We just go to the

temple mostly.

Yeah, I heard. The, the temple.

Not like the temple where

Eliza was bat mitzvah'ed, no.

It's the Hare Krishna temple

in Brooklyn.

No, of course it is.

So what do you do for

a living Johnny?

I'm a musician.

I'm also a tattoo artist,

but I don't... I don't tell

too many people that,

'cause it's illegal in

the city right now.

You don't have to worry about

telling her anything,

she's practically married

to a drug dealer.

Uh-uh, a botanist.

No, we're not even

remotely married.

Specialty in cannabis.

So do you manage to

make a decent living

applying your tattoos?

Um, I'm getting there.

I work out of my

squat right now,

so there's not a whole

lot of overhead.

That's smart.

In fact, there's none.

What about your family,

where do they live?

You know, I don't really

have much family, ma'am.

- But I will soon.

- Christ!

Sorry.

- Sorry.

- No, I'm sorry, Mom.

I'm sorry that my

entire existence

- has disappointed you.

- Okay...

You know I bet that

first kid you aborted

would have been a real winner.

Eliza!

You obviously picked the wrong

fetus.

For God's sake, Eliza!

Oh, my God!

Here's the fact, ma'am.

I want this baby just as

much as Eliza does

and nothing in this world

is going to change that.

So given that, I feel like

now is as good a time as any.

What, no, stop.

Wait, okay, okay...

Sorry, hello? Dinner

is officially over. Les!

Yeah, okay, yeah.

Hey, hey, Johnny, Johnny...

It's a school night,

so I think you should leave.

Les, could you help him go?

Yeah, come on, man.

I thought this

is what we wanted.

Bad timing, bud. Bad timing.

Good night, sweetheart. It

was really nice to meet you.

I'm sure I'll see

you again soon.

Um, thanks for coming, okay?

You're not going anywhere.

Les!

Shh, shh! Hey, come on now.

Hey, it's 3:
30 in the morning,

all right? Jude's asleep.

Good. I need to talk

to you alone.

Oh, my God!

How did you escape?

Waited for her

Valium to kick in

and slipped out the

service stairwell.

Oh, great, great.

So, what, you're gonna,

you're gonna move in with us?

- Only temporarily.

- Yeah?

Johnny and I are

getting married

and I'm going on tour

with the band.

Okay, well, just so you know,

that's about the worst

f***ing plan I've ever heard

in my whole life, okay?

I do know. Have you got

a better one?

I do. You have the baby here

and then, you know, we sell

it on the black market.

I got a dude in Brooklyn

who says he'll give us

an easy 10 grand

for a white one.

And What if it's not White?

Well, that sounds like

a conversation you

should have with

good old Johnny.

Come on, you really

want to marry this

necklace-wearing Hare Rama?

You love this guy?

I love how much he cares.

Right, and...

And we can't get a

real marriage license

till I turn 18 without

parental consent

and that's obviously not

going to happen.

It's more of a spiritual

union thing at the temple.

Okay. All right, well.

Why don't you just try playing

it all a little bit by ear,

you know?

Is that what you do, Les?

You just play it all by ear?

Yeah, I find it's the best

organ to play by.

Yeah, I mean, I have been

accused of playing by another,

but, uh...

Come on.

No, hey.

Come on, you're just so young,

sweetheart. You are.

I just need some place

safe to go, Les.

Some place

I can actually think,

away from her.

You know, if I help you out,

it'll pretty much

destroy what's left

of my relationship with

your mother, right?

Well...

Oh.

Did you meet my old lady when

you were out there in Vermont?

No. We were too busy

with sex and drugs.

Well, she's a piece of work,

you know, but...

she's better at this kind

of sh*t than I am.

You know, I believe in

this and I have to do it

for Teddy.

Neither of us had

a father in our life.

It would mean a lot to me if

you'd say, you'd understand.

I can't say that

because I don't.

There's a strong tradition

in lots of cultures

that when a man dies,

his brother steps

in to marry his wife.

It's even in Krishna

consciousness,

re-read the Laws of Manu.

They call it

"widow inheritance."

Now that's f***ing romantic.

So you're just going to

carry your brother's ashes

around with you, forever?

Rooster, come on.

Not even the dead

get to be free.

Les!

Open the door, you f***.

I know you're in there.

Just trying to get my daughter.

Oh, all right.

Les!

Hey!

Take good care of her,

Saint Jude.

It's a bit late for that, Dad.

The van's a piece of sh*t.

I'm talking about Eliza, champ.

You should talk to

Johnny about that.

- He's her husband now.

- Mmm.

At least in the

eyes of Krishna.

You don't sound too

happy about that.

What are you going to do? Hmm.

Try to get Princess Di

off your trail,

if she'll even talk to me.

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