100 Streets

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Life's pretty simple, you know.

It's long periods of waiting

broken up by brief

moments of change.

That's it. That's all it is.

You see, here's my theory.

The moments of change?

They're what give

your life its shape,

its form.

But it only takes one

of them to define you

and that'll be the only

thing you're remembered for,

and you know it.

In the instant it

happens, you sense it,

and the world

is changed forever.

You are forever changed.

All right kids. See

you later, all right?

I love you. I love

you too, daddy.

Kiss. See

you later.

Love you, all right.

Bye, daddy.

All right?

See you later.

Bye.

All right mate,

look, I'm loading!

Look, I'm loading.

Morning! Big fan,

Mr. Harris!

I don't believe in no fate.

No Karma, no coincidences,

no conspiracy theories or

any of that other bullshit.

Sh*t just happens.

And life?

That's just the

sh*t that happens

while you're wishing you were

someone or somewhere else.

Who were you chatting to?

No one, I was just on the phone.

What are you doing out there?

You ain't smoking

again, are you?

No, come on, mom. You

know I'm off that now.

It just gets a bit

stuffy in my room.

Getting a bit of fresh air.

Ain't you forgetting something?

Head's up me ass today.

Here, I've even given

them a clean and all.

Thanks, darling, I don't know

what I'd do without you.

Don't know why you wear

your boots anyway.

You only shout and

moan on the sides.

What? I'm teaching them

the beautiful game.

Anyway, I need my boots today

so I can run up and down

handing out your

sponsorship forms

to them dads who are

going to give you

loads of money for your charity.

Look, never mind them.

Just check if Ravi's

heard any news.

Yeah, I will. I will.

Leave it with me.

Bye, darling.

Morning, gents!

How are we all?

You all right?

How you doing, Hal?

Pretty good, mate. You?

Good. Good to see ya.

How are ya?

Right, I've got a very, very

important announcement

from the missus.

She's doing a fun run

for, uh, disabled kids.

The fun part is going

to be watching her

and her lumpy parts run around

Battersea for an hour.

But...

Could you, uh, do

what you can for her?

Okay. Yeah? Thanks

very much, guys.

Cheers. Cheers.

All right, Ravi?

Any news, mate?

Don't worry. All the

references are sorted. Right.

Exciting times, huh?

That's fantastic.

Thank you, mate.

Thank you so much.

Not a problem, mate.

Yeah, she's going

to be well chuffed.

It means a lot to us.

Thank you, Rav.

Right, lads!

Over here, please!

Are you okay?

Yeah. Why?

You just seem a

little bit distracted.

I'm okay.

I just wish I didn't

have to sneak around,

be so secretive.

He's the one that was

screwing the nanny.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I didn't...

It's all right.

I just...

I don't really need

you to remind me.

Sorry, excuse me.

I'm just gonna...

I'm just gonna...

So...

I found this the other day.

Oh, my god.

Do you remember that night?

That's the first

night I met you.

Yes, it was.

It was.

And you haven't changed a bit.

Yeah, right.

Shame it's 10 years

and two kids later.

Well, have you thought

about getting back into it?

Acting?

Mmm-hmm.

No.

Why not?

I wouldn't know

how to go about it.

There's got to be someone

that you can call,

point you in the

right direction.

I can take some new

headshots for you,

get a couple of, like,

really moody, 10x8s,

really actory ones.

Hey. Kids get off okay?

Yes, all good.

Evie took ages

to get off, though.

Oh, I'll go and check on her.

Listen, Emily...

Uh, you're supposed

to call first.

I did, but you were

obviously busy, so...

What do you want?

Well, a signed shirt from the

loft and kiss our children,

is that all right?

Off you go then.

Your audience awaits.

Don't you fancy it?

No.

Goodbye, Max.

Good evening again,

ladies and gents.

A bit of quiet please,

because it's time to meet

the man of the moment.

Please welcome to

the stage our host,

former England rugby

captain, a true hero,

and our very own gladiator,

Maximus Moore.

Thank you, Dan.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

As my grandmother once said,

"it's always good to have

a warm hand on your opening."

Um, in all seriousness,

thank you so much for

supporting our foundation.

You know, our aim is to

raise even more money

and encourage those less fortunate

than ourselves to play rugby

and perhaps learn the disciplines

of working on a team.

So, uh, sit back

and we'll run the Vt

of some of our fantastic work

that we've been doing. Cheers.

Say cheese.

Cheese!

Nice one.

Thanks, girls.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

See ya.

Later.

Bye, Max. See ya. Yeah.

Are you sure?

Mate, I ain't getting

any at home, am I?

You think she's still seeing

that photographer bloke?

C*nt.

So, what're you gonna do?

Well, I'll see how she likes it

when her credit card

gets stopped, yeah?

Seriously?

Yeah, mate.

Listen, call your mate and

get him to grab some gear.

Oh, yeah.

And I'll sort those two out.

Sorry, I don't think that

picture came out really well.

It's dead in here, b.

Fam, this action's sh*t!

Hey, yo, let's go hit VIP.

What? Do you think

we can get in?

Watch. Let me deal

with this, you know?

Yeah.

Come.

Say no more.

Walk on.

You got a stamp?

Hey, look, yeah?

I don't think so.

This ain't for your

type, little man.

Wh... we've been invited,

mate. We're on a table.

Trust me.

I don't think so.

And you stink of weed.

So, you need to

leave the club now.

Hey, come on, brother.

Where's your empathy?

I don't know you,

and you ain't my brother.

So step aside... Yeah, we

don't wanna f***ing know you!

Mandingo f***ing prick!

F***ing d*ckhead!

F*** you, man!

Idiots!

F***ing wanker!

Sh*t!

Come here!

Get the f*** off me, man!

Get the f*** off him!

Hey! Leave him!

Leave him the f*** alone!

Get the f*** off me.

Get the f*** off me.

Get off me!

Get off me!

Look what the

cat's dragged in, eh?

What've you done to your face?

Mom, mom, it's nothing.

Just slipped.

Had a couple of drinks n' that.

Who was you with?

My boy Sean, innit?

Well, that boy's got brains.

I bet he didn't get himself

into such a condition.

That's going to look

great in job interviews.

Mom, it's fine.

Trust me.

Just make sure you get

Amelia to church on time.

What do you say, shorty.

You ready, yeah?

You smell.

"Immediate return

to court order..."

Hey! That's none

of your business.

You going back to prison? What?

No. Of course not.

Look, I'll just take a

pregnant white chick to court

and they'll give me

community service.

Hey.

I ain't ever going

back there, you know?

I promise you.

Now, come on.

Let's go before we both

get in trouble, yeah?

"Upon such sacrifices,

my Cordelia..."

"The gods themselves

throw incense."

Must be, what, um, four years

since we did Lear together?

Eight years ago.

Oh!

That's the price you pay

for those thunderous thighs

and the glamorous life of a wag.

How is, uh,

Mr. neanderthal?

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