10 Most Excellent Things: The Devil Wears Prada Page #2

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that my coffee isn't here?

Has she died or something?

No. [ Whispers ] God.

Oh. Bloody time.

- I hope you know that this

is a very difficult job-

- Mm-hmm.

For which you are totally wrong.

And if you mess up,

my head is on the chopping block.

Now, hang that up.

Don't just fling it anywhere.

Okay First of all,

you and I answer the phones

The phone must be answered

every single time it rings.

Calls roll to voice mail,

and she gets very upset.

If I'm not here-Andrea, Andrea-

you are chained to that desk.

- Well, what if I need to-

- What? No.

One time an assistant left the desk because

she sliced her hand open with a letter opener...

and Miranda missed Lagerfeld

just before he boarded

a 17-hour flight to Australia.

She now works at TVGuide

- Man the desk at all times. Got it.

- [ Phone Rings ]

- Uh-

- Miranda Priestly's office.

No, she's not available.

- Who is it?

- [ Mouthing Words ]

Yes, I will tell her

you called... yet again.

- [ Bell Chimes ]

- Right Remember, you and I

have totally differentjobs

I mean, you get coffee-

[ Scoffs ] and you run errands.

Yet I am in charge of her schedule...

her appointments and her expenses

And, um, most importantly, um...

I get to go with her to Paris

for Fashion Week in the fall.

I get to wear couture.

I go to all the shows and all the parties.

I meet all of the designers.

It's divine.

Okay. Now, stay here. I'm going to

the art department to give them the Book.

- The-

- This is the Book.

Now, it is a mock-up of everything...

in the current issue.

And we deliver it to Miranda's apartment

every night, and she retu-

Don't touch it. She returns it to us

in the morning with her notes.

Now, the second assistant

is supposed to do this...

but Miranda is very private

and she does not like strangers in her house.

So until she decides

that you are not a total psycho...

I get the lovely task

of waiting around for the Book.

- [ Phone Rings ]

- Oh, Emily? What do I do-

- Deal with it

- [ Rings ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Rings ]

Hello. Mrs. Priestly's office.

Hmm. That's what I meant.

Miranda Priestly's office.

[ Groans ]

Um, you know, she is in a meeting.

Can I please take a message?

Uh-huh.

Okay. Can you please spell Gabbana?

- [ Line Clicks, Dial Tone Hums ]

- Hello?

I guess not.

I guessed an eight and a half.

Um, uh, that's very nice of you...

but I don't think I need these

Miranda hired me.

She knows what I look like.

- Do you?

- [ Chuckles ]

Emily.

Emily?

She means you.

- Wejust cut on the bias

- [ Miranda ] That's not what I asked you

I couldn't have been clearer.

There you are, Emily.

- How many times do I have to scream your name?

- Actually, it's Andy.

My name is Andy.

Andrea, but, uh, everybody calls me Andy.

[ Chuckles ]

I need 10 or 15 skirts from Calvin Klein.

- What kind of skirts do you-

- Please bore someone else with your questions.

And make sure we have Pier 59

at 8:
:00 am tomorrow

Remind Jocelyn I need to see a few of those

satchels that Marc is doing in the pony.

And then tell Simone I'll takeJackie

if Maggie isn't available

- Did Demarchelier confirm?

- D-Did D-Demarchel-

Demarchelier.

Did he- Get him on the phone.

Uh, o- okay.

- And, Emily?

- Yes?

That's all.

It's just the cavalier disregard

for clear directions-

[ Chattering Continues ]

Do you have Demarchelier?

Uh, Demarchelier.

- [ Groans ] Leave it.

- Do you have-

I have Miranda Priestly calling.

I have Patrick!

Uh, no, she called me in there

and-and then she asked me about Pier 59.

And there was something

about Simone, Frankie, someone else.

And, um, she needs skirts

from Calvin Klein

And, uh, there was something

about a pony

- Did she say which skirts?

- No No

- Did she say what kind? Color, shape, fabric?

- I tried to ask her.

You may never ask Miranda anything.

Right. I will deal with all of this,

and you will go to Calvin Klein.

Eh- Me?

Oh, I'm sorry. Do you have

some prior commitment?

Some hideous skirt convention

you have to go to?

Uh-

- [ Cell Phone Rings ]

- Miranda?

- Are you there?

- I'm about to walk in. I'll call you as soon as-

[ Line Clicks ]

- [ Cell Phone Rings ]

- [ Horn Honks ]

- Hello? Hi.

- [ Emily ] While you're out...

Miranda needs you to go to Hermes

to pick up 25 scarves we ordered for her.

- Okay.

- Cassidy forgot her homework at Dalton.

Pick that up.

Miranda went out to meet with Meisel, and

she will want more Starbucks when she gets back.

- Hot Starbucks.

- Can you just repeat that first-

- [ Dial Tone Hums ]

- Hello?

Oh, my God.

What took you so long?

I have to pee!

What?

You haven't peed since I left?

No, I haven't. I've been manning

the desk, haven't I? I'm bursting.

Oh, hi.

- [ Snaps Fingers ]

- You do coat. Do the coat!

Okay.

Now, be prepared.

The run-through is at 12:30.

People are panicking, so the phone

is going to be ringing off the hook

The ru-The run-through. Right.

Yes. Editors bring in options for the shoot,

and Miranda chooses.

She chooses every single thing

in every single issue.

Run-throughs are a huge deal.

I don't know why you don't know that, Andrea.

- [ Woman ] Okay Are you ready?

- [ Emily ] Oh, hi, hi.

Right. Well, after the loo,

Serena and I are going to lunch.

- This is her- the new me

- Hi.

- Told you.

- I thought you were kidding.

No, quite serious, yeah

I get 20 minutes for lunch, and you get 15

- When I come back, you can go.

- Okay.

[ Serena ]

What exactly is she wearing?

[ Giggling ]

Her grandmother's skirt.

[ Man Singing In French ]

Hmm. Corn chowder.

That's an interesting choice

You do know that cellulite is one

of the main ingredients in corn chowder.

[ Man Singing In French Continues ]

So none of the girls here eat anything?

Not since two became the new four

and zero became the new two.

- Well, I'm a six.

- Which is the new 14.

Oh. Shoot.

Oh, never mind. I'm sure you have plenty

more polyblend where that came from.

- [ Cash Register Clicking ]

- Okay. You think my clothes are hideous.

I get it.

But, you know, I'm not going

to be in fashion forever...

so I don't see the point of changing everything

about myself just because I have this job.

Yes, that's true.

That's really what this multibillion-dollar

industry is all about anyway, isn't it?

- Inner beauty.

- [ Cell Phone Rings ]

Hello.

Right. Come on.

- Miranda's pushed the run-through

up a half an hour.

- Mmm!

- She's always 15 minutes early.

- Which means?

- You're already late. Come.

- Shoot!

Excuse me.

- [ Bell Dings ]

- Mr. Ravitz.

Nigel.

- Issue going well?

- Oh, yes. Our best September ever.

Great. Heard Miranda killed autumn jackets

and pulled up the Sedona shoot.

What's that costing me?

About 300,000.

Must have been some lousy jackets.

- Irv Ravitz.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

This is Andy Sachs,

Miranda's new assistant.

Congratulations, young lady.

A million girls would kill for that job.

Bye-bye.

- Hmm?

- Chairman of Elias-Clarke, Irv Ravitz.

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