10 Most Excellent Things: The Devil Wears Prada Page #5

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Give me the... phone.

[ Beeps ]

- [ Sputters ]

- Hi, Miranda

- Ooh. Shh.

- Absolutely.

- Shh!

- Uh-huh. I'm leaving right now.

You know, you guys

didn't have to be such a**holes.

[ Rings ]

[ Electronica ]

[ Woman Singing ]

Um, excuse me.

I'm looking forJames Holt.

Um, that's him right there.

- Oh. Thanks.

- No problem.

- I put my stuff out there, and I pray they improve.

- Really?

- Excuse me.

- Hi.

I'm Andy.

I'm picking up for Miranda Priestly.

Oh, yes.

You must be the new Emily.

- [ Chuckling ]

- Nice to meet you.

- Oh, let me see that bag. Very, very nice.

- Ah.

Distressed, studded leather, pieced by hand,

finished with a metallic fringe.

[ Clicks Tongue ] Very nice, indeed.

Who made that fantastic thing?

You.

Hmm. Duh. This way.

Uh, here we go.

It's a sketch of Miranda's dress

for the benefit.

Also the centerpiece of my spring collection.

Top secret stuff.

- I'll guard it with my life.

- Please do.

Come on.

You're working for Miranda Priestly now.

You must be in desperate need

of hard liquor.

Excuse us, girls.

She'll have the punch.

[ Clears Throat ]

It's deadly. Have fun.

[ Man Singing ]

- He's right, you know.

- Hmm?

The punch.

I drank it atJames's last party.

I woke up in Hoboken wearing nothing

but a poncho and a cowboy hat.

- [ Continues ]

- Ah. Well.

- Wise.

- [ Chuckling ]

- Uh, hi.

- Christian Thompson.

Christian Thompson?

You're kidding.

No, you're-You write for,

like, every magazine I love.

I actually- I reviewed your collection

of essays for my college newspaper.

Did you mention my good looks

and my killer charm?

- No, but-

- What do you do?

Oh. Well, I want to work for somewhere

like The New Yorker or Vanity Fair

- I am a writer too.

- Is that right?

- Mm-hmm.

- I should read your stuff.

Why don't you send it over?

Yeah?

That would be-Thank you.

That would be great. [ Giggling ]

But actually, right now, I'm working

as Miranda Priestly's assistant.

Oh, you're kidding.

Well, that's too bad.

That's-Whoa.

You'll never survive Miranda.

- Excuse me?

- Well, you seem nice, smart.

You can't do that job.

Gotta go.

Okay.

Well, it was very, very nice

to meet you, Miranda girl.

Emily?

Call James Holt's office Tell them I want

to move the preview up to today at 12::30

Tell everybody else.

Be ready to leave in half an hour.

But we're not expected until Tuesday

Did she say why?

Yes. Yeah, she explained every detail

of her decision making.

And then we brushed each other's hair

and gabbed about American Idol

I see your point.

- [ Andy ] What's a preview anyway?

- Good morning, Miranda.

[ Nigel ] Miranda insists upon seeing

all the designers'collections

before they show them

- Great to see you.

- Hello, James.

- [ Andy ] And she tells them what she thinks?

- [ Nigel ] In her way

Uh, this season really began for me

with a meditation...

on the intersection

between East and West

[ Nigel ] There's a scale

One nod is good Two nods is very good

There's only been one actual smile on record,

and that was Tom Ford in 2001

An obi belt.

[ Nigel ]

She doesn't like it, she shakes her head

This is the dress that we have designed

specifically and exclusively for you.

[ Nigel ] Then, of course,

there's the pursing of the lips

[ Andy ]

Which means?

[ Nigel ]

Catastrophe

[ Whispers ]

Just, uh-Just go.

- I just don't understand. I'm appalled.

- It's absurd. Appalled.

- You deal with it.

- I'll talk to him.

So because she pursed her lips,

he's gonna change his entire collection?

You still don't get it, do you?

Her opinion is the only one

that matters.

- Call my husband and confirm dinner.

- At Pastis? Done.

And I'll need a change of clothes.

Well, I've already messengered

your outfit over to the shoot.

Fine. And, Andrea, I would like you

to deliver the Book to my home tonight.

- Have Emily give you the key.

- Mm-hmm.

- Guard this with your life.

- Of course.

You know, if I can deliver the Book,

that means I must have done something right.

I'm not a psycho.

Oh, and, you know,

she called me Andrea?

I mean, she didn't call me Emily,

which is- Isn't that great?

Yeah, whoopee. Right.

Now, it's very important that you do

exactly what I'm about to tell you.

Oh. Okay.

[ Emily ]

The Book is assembled by 10::00, 10::30

and you must wait around for it

until then

You will be delivering Miranda's

dry cleaning with the Book.

Now, the car will take you straight

to Miranda's townhouse

You let yourself in

Andrea. You do not talk to anyone.

Do not look at anyone.

This is of the utmost importance.

You must be invisible.

- Do you understand?

- Uh-huh.

You open the door

and you walk across the foyer

You hang the dry cleaning

in the closet across from the staircase

- Uh-

- And you leave the Book

on the table with the flowers

[ Panting ]

- Sh*t!

- [ Girl ] It's that door to the left

Okay.

[ Whispers ]

Thank you.

- You can give the Book to us.

- Shh. Which-Which table?

- It's okay Come on up

- No, I can't. I can't.

- What? It's okay.

- Come on.

- Yeah, come on It's okay

- Please stop talking.

Or you can bring the Book upstairs.

Emily does it all the time.

She does? Right.

She does, all the time.

Yeah? Okay.

[ Giggling ]

[ Miranda ] What did you expect me to do,

walk out in the middle of a cover shoot?

[ Man ] I rushed out of

an investment committee meeting

and I sat there waiting for you

for almost an hour.

I told you the cell phones didn't work

Nobody could get a signal out

[ Man ] I knew what everyone

in that restaurant was thinking-

there he is, waiting for her again.

- Okay, okay! Okay, okay.

- Oh, no. Shh!

It really wasn't that big a deal.

I promise.

The twins said hello,

so I said hello back.

- Then I went up the stairs

to give her the Book and-

- You went upstairs?

Oh, my God. Why didn't you just climb into bed

with her and ask for a bedtime story?

Okay, I made a mistake. I know.

Andrea, you don't understand.

If you get fired,

that might jeopardize Paris for me.

If that happens, I will search every Blimpie's

in the tristate area until I track you down.

She's gonna fire me?

I don't know. She's not happy.

[ Miranda ]

Andrea?

[ Snaps Fingers ]

Miranda, about last night, l-

I need the new Harry Potter book

for the twins.

Okay. Okay. I'll go down

to Barnes & Noble right now.

Did you fall down and smack

your little head on the pavement?

Not that I can recall.

We have all the published Harry Potter books.

The twins want to know what happens next.

You want the unpublished manuscript?

We know everyone in publishing

It shouldn't be a problem, should it?

And you can do anything, right?

[ Cell Phone Rings ]

Yes, Bobbsey. I know, baby.

Mommy's working very hard

to get it for you.

She doesn't get it.

I could call frickin'J.K. Rowling herself.

I'm not gonna get a copy of that book.

My girls are leaving on the train

for their grandmother's at 4::00

so the book better be here

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