10 Things I Hate About You Page #3

MISS PERKY:

Katarina Stratford. My, my. You've

been terrorizing Ms. Blaise again.

KAT:

Expressing my opinion is not a

terrorist action.

MISS PERKY:

Well, yes, compared to your other

choices of expression this year, today's

events are quite mild. By the way,

Bobby Rictor's gonad retrieval operation

went quite well, in case you're

interested.

KAT:

I still maintain that he kicked himself

in the balls. I was merely a spectator.

MISS PERKY:

The point is Kat -- people perceive you

as somewhat ...

Kat smiles at her, daring her to say it.

KAT:

Tempestuous?

MISS PERKY:

No ... I believe "heinous b*tch" is the

term used most often.

She grimaces, as if she's referring to a medical condition.

MISS PERKY:

(continuing)

You might want to work on that

Kat rises from her chair with a plastic smile matching the

counselor's.

KAT:

As always, thank you for your excellent

guidance.

INT. SOPHOMORE ENGLISH CLASS - DAY

Bianca ignores the droning teacher as she writes a note in

big flowing handwriting.

TEACHER (0.S.)

I realize the language of Mr.

Shakespeare makes him a bit daunting,

but I'm sure you're all doing your best.

Bianca folds the note and passes it behind her with a flip

of her hair to CHASTITY. Chastity opens the note and reads:

INSERT - "JOEY DORSEY SAID HI TO ME IN THE HALL! OH! MY

GOD!"

Chastity frowns to herself.

TEACHER (0.S.)

(continuing)

Ms. Stratford, do you care to comment

on what you've read so far?

Bianca looks up and smiles the smile of Daddy's little girl.

BIANCA:

Not really.

The teacher shakes her head, but lets it go.

MANDELLA. a waif-like senior girl who sits off to the side

trying to slit her wrist with the plastic spiral on her

notebook, looks up and raises her hand.

TEACHER:

Mandella -- since you're assisting us,

you might as well comment. I'm assuming

you read the assignment.

MANDELLA:

Uh, yeah, I read it all

TEACHER:

The whole play^

MANDELIA:

The whole folio. All the plays.

TEACHER:

(disbelieving)

You've read every play by William

Shakespeare?

MANDELLA:

Haven't you?

She raises a challenging eyebrow. The stunned teacher

doesn't answer and goes to call on the next student.

EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY

Mandella and Kat sit down in the quiet corner. They are

eating a carton of yogurt with gusto.

MANDELLA:

Your sister is so amazingly without. She'll never read him.

She has no idea.

Kat attacks

KAT:

The fact that you're cutting gym so you

can T.A. Sophomore English just to hear

his name, is a little without in itself

if you ask me.

Kat's attention is caught by Patrick as he walks by with his

friends, lighting up a cigarette. Mandella notices her

staring.

MANDELLA:

Who's that?

KAT:

Patrick Verona Random skid.

MANDELLA:

That's Pat Verona? The one who was gone

for a year? I heard he was doing porn

movies.

KAT:

I'm sure he's completely incapable of

doing anything that interesting.

MANDELLA:

He always look so

KAT:

Block E?

Kat turns back to face Mandella and forces her yogurt into

Mandella's hand.

KAT:

(continuing)

Mandella, eat. Starving yourself is a

very slow way to die.

MANDELLA:

Just a little.

She eats. Kat sees her wrist

KAT:

What's this?

MANDELLA:

An attempted slit.

Kat stares at her, expressionless.

KAT:

I realize that the men of this fine

institution are severely lacking, but

killing yourself so you can be with

William Shakespeare is beyond the scope

of normal teenage obsessions. You're

venturing far past daytime talk show

fodder and entering the world of those

who need very expensive therapy.

MANDELLA:

But imagine the things he'd say during

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