10 Things I Hate About You Page #5

"Undulating with desire, Adrienne

removes her crimson cape, revealing her

creamy --"

WALTER STRATFORD, a blustery, mad scientist-type

obstetrician, enters through the front door, wearing a

doctor's white jacket and carrying his black bag.

WALTER:

I hope dinner's ready because I only have ten minutes before

Mrs. Johnson squirts out a screamer.

He grabs the mail and rifles through it, as he bends down to

kiss Sharon on the cheek.

SHARON:

In the microwave.

WALTER:

(to Kat)

Make anyone cry today?

KAT:

Sadly, no. But it's only four-thirty.

Bianca walks in.

KAT:

(continuing)

Where've you been?

BIANCA:

(eyeing Walter)

Nowhere... Hi, Daddy.

She kisses him on the cheek

WALTER:

Hello, precious.

Walter kisses Bianca back as Kat heads up the stairs

KAT:

How touching.

Walter holds up a letter to Kat

WALTER:

What's this? It says Sarah Lawrence?

Snatches it away from him.

KAT:

I guess I got in

Sharon looks up from her computer.

SHARON:

What's a synonym for throbbing?

WALTER:

Sarah Lawrence is on the other side of

the country.

KAT:

I know.

WALTER:

I thought we decided you were going to

school here. At U of 0.

KAT:

You decided.

BIANCA:

Is there even a question that we want

her to stay?

Kat gives Bianca an evil look then smiles sweetly at

KAT:

Ask Bianca who drove her home

SHARON:

Swollen...turgid.

WALTER:

(to Bianca; upset)

Who drove you home?

Bianca glares at Kat then turns to Walter

BIANCA:

Now don't get upset. Daddy, but there's

this boy... and I think he might ask...

WALTER:

No! You're not dating until your sister

starts dating. End of discussion.

BIANCA:

What if she never starts dating?

WALTER:

Then neither will you. And I'll get to

sleep at night.

BIANCA:

But it's not fair -- she's a mutant,

Daddy!

KAT:

This from someone whose diary is

devoted to favorite grooming tips?

WALTER:

Enough!

He pulls out a small tape recorder from his black bag.

WALTER:

(continuing)

Do you know what this is?

He hits the "play' button and SHRIEKS OF PAIN emanate from

the tape recorder.

BIANCA AND WALTER

(in unison, by

rote)

The sound of a fifteen-year-old in

labor.

WALTER:

This is why you're not dating until

your sister does.

BIANCA:

But she doesn't want to date.

WALTER:

Exactly my point

His BEEPER goes off and he grabs his bag again

WALTER:

(continuing)

Jesus! Can a man even grab a sandwich

before you women start dilating?

SHARON:

Tumescent!

WALTER:

(to Sharon; as he

leaves)

You're not helping.

INT. TUTORING ROOM - DAY

Cameron sits with an empty chair beside him. Bianca arrives

in a flurry of blonde hair.

BIANCA:

Can we make this quick? Roxanne

Korrine and Andrew Barrett are having an

incredibly horrendous public break- up

on the quad. Again.

CAMERON:

Well, I thought we'd start with

pronunciation, if that's okay with you.

BIANCA:

Not the hacking and gagging and spitting part. Please.

CAMERON:

(looking down)

Okay... then how 'bout we try out some

French cuisine. Saturday? Night?

Bianca smiles slowly

BIANCA:

You're asking me out. That's so cute.

What's your name again?

CAMERON:

(embarrassed)

Forget it.

Bianca seizes an opportunity.

BIANCA:

No, no, it's my fault -- we didn't have

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