10 Things I Hate About You Page #7

Michael watches, shaking his head.

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

Joey and his pals take turns drawing b*obs onto a cafeteria

tray with a magic marker.

Michael walks up and sits between them, casual as can be

MICHAEL:

Hey.

JOEY:

Are you lost?

MICHAEL:

Nope - just came by to chat

JOEY:

We don't chat.

MICHAEL:

Well, actually, I thought I'd run an

idea by you. You know, just to see if

you're interested.

JOEY:

We're not.

He grabs Michael by the side of the head, and proceeds to

draw a penis on his cheek with the magic marker. Michael

suffers the indignity and speaks undaunted.

MICHAEL:

(grimacing)

Hear me out. You want Bianca don't

you?

Joey sits back and cackles at his drawing.

MICHAEL:

(continuing)

But she can't go out with you because

her sister is this insane head case and

no one will go out with her. right?

JOEY:

Does this conversation have a purpose?

MICHAEL:

So what you need to do is recruit a guy

who'll go out with her. Someone who's

up for the job.

Michael points to Patrick, who makes a disgusted face at his

turkey pot pie before he rises and throws it at the garbage

can, rather than in it.

JOEY:

That guy? I heard he ate a live duck once. Everything but

the beak and the feet.

MICHAEL:

Exactly

Joey turns to look at Michael.

JOEY:

What's in it for you?

MICHAEL:

Oh, hey, nothin' man Purely good will

on my part.

He rises to leave and turns to the others.

MICHAEL:

(continuing)

I have a dick on my face, don't I?

INT. BOY'S ROOM - DAY

Michael stands at the sink, trying to scrub Joey's artwork

off his face as Cameron watches.

CAMERON:

You got him involved?

MICHAEL:

Like we had a choice? Besides -- when

you let the enemy think he's

orchestrating the battle, you're in a

position of power. We let him pretend

he's calling the shots, and while he's

busy setting up the plan, you have time

to woo Bianca.

Cameron grins and puts an arm around him

CAMERON:

You're one brilliant guy

Michael pulls back, noticing other guys filing in.

MICHAEL:

Hey - I appreciate gratitude as much as the next guy, but

it's not gonna do you any good to be known as New Kid Who

Embraces Guys In The Bathroom.

Cameron pulls back and attempts to posture himself in a

manly way for the others, now watching.

INT. KENNY'S THAI FOOD DINER - DAY

Kat and Mandella pick apart their pad thai. Mandella is

smoking.

KAT:

So he has this huge raging fit about

Sarah Lawrence and insists that I go to

his male-dominated, puking frat boy,

number one golf team school. I have no

say at all.

MANDELLA:

William would never have gone to a

state school.

KAT:

William didn't even go to high school

MANDELLA:

That's never been proven

KAT:

Neither has his heterosexuality.

Mandella replies with a look of ice. Kat uses the moment to

stub out Mandella's cigarette.

KAT:

(continuing)

I appreciate your efforts toward a

speedy death, but I'm consuming.

(pointing at her

food)

Do you mind?

MANDELLA:

Does it matter?

KAT:

If I was Bianca, it would be, "Any

school you want, precious. Don't forget

your tiara."

They both look up as Patrick enters. He walks up to the

counter to place his order.

Mandella leans toward Kat with the glow of fresh gossip

MANDELLA:

Janice Parker told me he was a roadie

for Marilyn Manson.

Patrick nods at them as he takes his food outside.

KAT:

Janice Parker is an idiot

INT. MISS PERKY'S OFFICE - DAY

Patrick sits before Miss Perky, eating his Thai food

MISS PERKY:

(looking at chart)

I don't understand, Patrick. You

haven't done anything asinine this week.

Are you not feeling well?

PATRICK:

Touch of the flu.

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