12 Page #7

could never walk

that far in ten seconds.

I say that as a doctor.

I want to vote.

I vote that the boy is not guilty.

Six - six.

And...

Me too.

Seven -five.

Seven -five.

- What is it?

- I'm cold.

Cold? We're all cold, pal.

They gave you double bars.

But you're still cold.

Deal with it, pal.

"A birch, a rowan tree"

"A willow on the river bank"

So, actor...

Your squad went to earn

some loot without you?

We call it "cleaning up".

"- Where could you find..."

- You performed here.

- For free, though.

- That's called a "command performance".

Did you switch sides as a joke?

That's called "buffoonery".

Catch!

You... Hey. Sorry, I...

I didn't mean to.

I thought you'd catch it.

Listen...

Listen.

Listen, you.

Why are you always

talking to me like that?

I said sorry. OK...

Why do you do it?

Do we know each other?

Did we play football...

...or drink vodka or chase girls?

- What? Huh?

- And why do you always cackle?

- Who cackles?

- You cackle. Why?

- Who cackles?

- You. All the time. Always cackling.

Why would I cackle?

We've been here 5 hours.

You found yourself a clown, eh?

What am I, a clown to you?

A cheap clown?

I'm sick of your laughter!

You've all turned blue from cackling,

like you were strangled.

You always want to laugh.

You think it's funny.

You laugh everywhere at everything!

Before you even sit in your seat

you're ready with your cackle.

You laugh at absolutely everything!

Life. Death. Tsunami.

Earthquakes! And you cackle!

Half the country's freezing...

A cop murders someone...

Five million homeless orphans...

Why are you laughing?

Why the "ha ha ha"?

Because being serious terrifies you.

Not long ago...

...I was performing and I started

to talk to the audience seriously.

About my life,

about life in Russia.

Everyone laughed.

They thought it was a joke.

I bet if I were to spit

from the stage onto the first row,

they'd still laugh,

they'd think it was a joke.

Found yourself a clown?

I'm no clown.

I've only really earned one smile.

One single smile.

When I was playing that old man.

As a kid, I stayed alone a lot

with my sick grandma.

I was five or six, yeah, six.

She collapsed.

I could tell she was dying.

I called an ambulance,

but it took forever.

I gave her medicine.

I was terrified.

She was my grandmother, after all.

I decided to cheer her up.

I started imitating

her neighbor, Sima,

and another friend of hers.

They were both very funny.

Grandma was in a lot of pain

but I saw her smile.

Even when they were carrying her body

out, I saw a smile on her face.

All that...

...laughter...

...and a smile.

And that Chechen kid...

The old man...

I could feel in my bones...

...their horrible fear...

...and loneliness.

Same as when I was with my grandmother

while she was dying.

That was the only smile

I ever really earned.

Good thing there are mats.

I could've broken my back.

What a Russian story.

Yeah.

Everything here is very Russian somehow.

It's not Harvard.

Yes. It's not Harvard.

Really got to you, huh?

Hey, let's do one more experiment.

You did an experiment.

I just want to check one thing.

Now, just imagine...

You have an imagination, right?

Me?

It's not bad. It's...

It's part of my profession.

Naturally! Yeah!

Now, imagine...

...you're coming home.

Late at night.

- Are you married?

- I am.

Hold this, please.

- Do you have kids?

- Yes. A little girl.

- What kind of car?

- An Audi-80.

So, imagine that you're coming home

late one night.

You live in a good area,

nice building, right?

With a concierge, security cameras,

and everything,

secure parking lot,

a gate, a guard.

I have a keychain alarm.

Kolya the guard...

His name is Kolya.

Uncle Petya the custodian.

- Uncle Valera.

- Uncle Valera.

- Hi, Uncle Valera.

- You know them, and they know you.

You're not afraid.

Not at all.

It's your home.

Your very well-guarded home.

And so, you park your wheels

in the usual place

and suddenly you notice

something's wrong.

- What's wrong?

- The light's on in your window.

They're usually asleep by now,

but the light's on.

So? Maybe they waited up.

Of course.

They decided to wait up for you.

But there's a noise

so you ask Valera.

"Everything OK?"

He says:
"Yes, it's fine".

You go in.

Auntie Polya, the concierge, smiles.

Everything's fine.

Just listen.

You go to the elevator.

You live on the fifth floor, right?

Right. How did you know?

I really do live on the fifth floor.

Of course you do.

It's the best one.

Not too high, not too low.

And it has a good view.

But why aren't they asleep?

Why? You'll see the surprise

they've made for you.

Here it is, fifth floor. "Fifth floor".

It's a woman's voice:

"Fifth floor".

Oh, those little scamps,

they're not asleep.

They're waiting for dad.

They have a surprise for him.

- I open the door.

- You open the door.

Wipe your feet.

Did you wipe them?

- And it's quiet.

- What's quiet?

The apartment, very quiet.

It's never been so quiet.

And the lights.

Lights are on everywhere.

Things are scattered.

A child's slipper. Just one.

A large bath towel.

On the floor.

You know what's going on.

You call them.

Please, an answer.

"Please let them answer".

But they're silent.

The emergency phone

is on the right.

- On the left.

- Sorry, left.

The cord's torn out, the receiver's

on the floor. You turn around slowly...

- And... There it is!

- What?

There!

Blood under the door.

It opens.

On the chandelier hangs...

A panda.

A big stuffed panda.

Your daughter's favorite.

And it's not blood.

It's a broken wine bottle.

All is not lost.

You run to the bedroom.

And here they are!

Your daughter. She looks alive.

No blood. She was strangled!

You open the bedroom, and there,

raped and hacked to pieces...

...is your wife.

It's the end.

You want to yell, to run,

but you can't.

You stand like pillar of salt.

Over their bodies.

- He's nuts. Nuts.

- Wait. That's not all.

You hear someone behind you.

Who could it be?

It's that same Chechen

that you want to save from prison.

With the same knife.

He slowly, methodically

pins you belly down to the floor,

pulls back your head,

takes that cold, sharp blade

and cuts your throat from ear to ear.

You, Harvard, will crawl

in your own blood.

With your last breath...

You don't understand why he did it!

He did it because we're

just trophies to them!

We're not humans, we're trophies!

I change my vote. The killer is guilty.

Good for you!

And good for your mom, too.

What a guy she raised.

Smart. Lively.

Imaginative. And truthful.

There you go.

Six - six.

Very interesting.

Why are you looking at me?

I don't know...

He's impressionable.

He's sick.

Should we call the bailiff?

- Doctor...

- What can I do?

It's not...

...food poisoning...

It's nervous regurgitation.

Give him some water.

- Are you OK?

- I'm fine. Thanks very much...

Yes. Yes...

"The City Wolves".

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