16 Years of Alcohol Page #4

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They would say, ''That Frankie Mac

is definitely going somewhere.''

What was all that about?

What happened in there?

They didn't show me any respect.

To them I was...

To them you were nothing.

What did you expect, a dinner invite?

Don't, Helen -

they were f***ing horrible

and maybe it was a good thing

that someone told them that.

You threatened to cut

and hang them from a wall.

HE LAUGHS:

That's funny, is it?

- You find that amusing.

- I was joking. Having a laugh.

Trying to make light

of a bad situation.

What did you promise me?

Do you remember?

- Frankie, talk to me.

- I remember.

You said it was over.

The violence.

The drink.

- All of that stuff was over.

- Over.

It's never going to be over.

They hit you, you hit them,

someone says something,

you say something back.

You look for it.

It doesn't come looking for you,

you're on the lookout for it.

What am I on the lookout for?

The past.

I've got to go.

Alone.

WHISPERS:
Alone?

Sure, sure, I get it.

- I understand.

- Bye, Frankie.

Bye.

Helen.

Thank you.

Thank you for everything.

People talk about strength

at times like this,

Strength of character-

be strong,

be a hero, be a man, say no,

Just when you thought

it was in your grasp,,,

,,you find yourself

back where you started,

Nothing is ever as easy

as people would have you think,

Nothing,

Vodka,

vodka, vodka,

Where is love when you need it most?

Where is love when the past

begins to leak into your heart?

Where is hope,,,

,,in a hopeless place?

FRANKIE:
What the f*** do you want?

You.

Me?

We heard you were a born again,

Frankie, a non-drinker.

Must have been given

the wrong information.

Ms Goody-two-shoes

wouldn't be too impressed.

Maybe I'll knock on her door and let

her know that her project's f***ed.

Her little experiment

has fallen apart.

- Tarzan's gone back to the jungle.

- F*** off.

Maybe I could stand in for you,

take your place, keep her bed warm.

I said f*** off, Miller.

Maybe I should take the boys

to hers for some fun.

She looks the type who'd like that.

She's educated, isn't she?

It makes sense,

why have one when she can three?

The world is silent,

The clocks have stopped again,

I can see the ship that sailed

has sunk to the bottom of the sea,

YELLING:

YELLING:

I burn,

My heart beats the tune that

this is not a fantasy, this is real,

This is when you become

dizzy with hate,

WOMAN:
Hi, everybody. Welcome.

A few familiar faces here...

..and we've a new member, welcome.

I'll explain the process.

Anybody that wants to speak

gets a chance.

I'm off first today, I'm Jennifer

and I'm an alcoholic.

Er, it's been quite a good week,

actually.

I actually went swimming -

me, swimming!

Felt really good about that.

Wednesday was hard.

Day off.

I was going to do all these things,

do this, see friends, never did it.

I got caught up watching the telly

in the morning.

Was Kilroy, he's enough

to make anybody greet, him.

I watched it

and there was this guy...

..talking about his life.

I just started to cry,

couldn't stop, uncontrollable.

I wanted a drink.

God, did I want a drink, all day.

But I didn't, I heId on...

..got to Thursday, got back to work,

got back to normality.

Now I'm here.

I got through the week.

CLAPPING:

My name is Frankie...

..and I am a violent man.

I woke up one morning.

It was winter.

I could see an oak tree

standing right next to me.

It was cold.

At first I couldn't feel anything...

..and then I realised that my face

was frozen to the ground.

I couldn't lift it.

It was stuck.

I was lying on the ground.

Beneath a tree.

Frozen to the ground.

I don't know how long I had been

there, but long enough to freeze me.

Something bad had happened.

Something violent.

My hands were free and they were red.

Blood red.

Strangely enough,

my thoughts were clear. Very clear.

I could almost hear them

racing around in my head.

They told me...

..I was a dead person.

Dead.

Dead.

No longer living.

Lifeless.

I remembered everything.

Everything from the past.

The past was there in front of me.

As the sun came up, the ice thawed

and my face was released.

For a while I didn't want to get up.

I just lay there listening

to my thoughts about the past.

This is where the world spins in

the wrong direction, where it ends.

The realisation that everything that

you ever wanted will never happen.

Gone like the wind. Gone forever.

16 f***ing years of nothing. Gone.

Think of all the love you gave people

who never understood

that what you did was only for them,

and all you ever

wanted back was something small.

Hope. Not charity.

You wanted them

to make hope beautiful again...

STORM RAGES OUTSIDE

Hey, how you doing?

- Weather's shocking.

- Yeah. Terrible weather.

How are you doing?

Can't complain.

What's a man got to do to get

a drink in here?

What's the rush?

Will you join me?

It's turning cold. Think it'll snow?

After a while I got up

and I think for the first time ever,

I understood

something that had real meaning.

You can't escape from what you are.

You can only try

and make you a better person.

I'm trying, that's all I'm doing...

..trying to be better,

trying not to give up.

I guess what I'm trying to say

is sometimes things don't work out

Like you might have hoped

and it's up to you to get on with it.

Even though you feel hope is tired

and suddenly

it isn't available any more.

Christ, listen to me going on. Sorry.

Can I end with an odd

and hopefully funny thought?

Things got so desperate

that I ended up going somewhere,

just for a little while,

where they encourage you to be...

..to be someone else.

I went to acting classes.

CLAPPING:

# THE BLUE NILE:
Happiness

# Now that I've found peace at last

# Tell me, Jesus

# Will it last?

# Now that I've found peace at last

# Tell me, Jesus

# Will it last?

# Birds are laughing in the trees

# It's only make believe

# It's only love

# It's only love... #

- You. What's your story?

- My story?

- What's my story?

- Your story.

No. I don't think so. You know

how to talk around a subject?

- Yeah.

- I learned from a master.

A master of avoiding real questions.

A master of avoiding real questions.

Be nice to him, sounds

like he's knows what he's doing.

- So?

- So?

So, Mary...

..what is your story?

Well, I think it's just beginning.

But I don't know where it's going.

- Where do you think it's going?

- Not back, I'm sure of that.

Forward... well, hopefully...

To good places. To better places.

SHOUTS AND CHEERS

WHISTLE:

No goal.

BOYS SHOUT PROTESTS

If he's off, we're all off!

Come here! Come here, come here!

What do I tell you every week?

- It was a goaI!

- No.

No excuses. You're onIy 12 years oId!

Don't push the referee

even if he is stupid.

- What do you want?

- I won't tolerate this behaviour.

You're the coach, it's your

responsibility, get it sorted out.

Get a grip of the game and

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