20,000 Days on Earth Page #4

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and not be... I wasn't happy.

I used to look at these people

on the record covers and aspire to that.

(CAR HORN BLARES)

RAY:
What do you think

of the Rolling Stones?

Must be a time when they actually look

at one another and think, you know,

"Boys, haven't we got enough

money now? Do we wanna retire?

"We can always play a banjo

on a porch somewhere

"and sing a song

for our own entertainment."

I mean, do you love performing still?

I hear actors say it.

I live for it, I really do.

- Really do, yeah?

- And...and it's...it's the...

it's really that moment

I can get to be that person...

- Yeah.

- ...that I always wanted to be.

There's something that happens on stage

where you are transported and you are...

Time has a different feel

and you are just this thing

- and you feel you can't do any wrong...

- Yeah.

...and then you look down the front row

and somebody yawns...

- (LAUGHS)

- ...something like that,

and the whole thing falls away

and you're just this...

- schmuck.

- Just crucifies you, yeah.

I had it when...when I was...and I loved

playing Henry VIII, you know,

and, er...I...I actually

become Henry VIII.

I really believed I was the King

of England and, er...you know, that I...

- I could have women's heads...

- And offstage?

Yeah, I was going home at night

and thinking, you know,

I could actually...I could become Henry.

I could do this, you know.

My agent and his mum came down,

and she watched the day's shoot,

and I was, you know,

pretty pleased with myself,

what I was doing, and she said, er...

"Are you gonna play him like that?"

- (LAUGHS)

- No?

Yeah. And it absolutely...it just kettled

me for a couple of days, you know.

I'm thinking, "Oh, f*** it!" you know,

because I think as an...

as a performer, you...

- you need that confidence of feeling.

- You need to believe, don't you?

You need someone saying

you're doing good.

I can't see a bloody thing here.

Yeah, well, put your steamer on.

I mean, you know, it's science, innit?

I mean, if it's cold out there and hot in

here, you're gonna get steamy windows.

Yeah, I know, but...

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(HORN SOUNDS)

(WINDCHIMES RING)

- G'day, Nick.

- G'day, Warren.

- How are you, mate?

- All right. You all right?

Yeah, I'm good. How are you?

- It's the birds.

- Wonderful. Bring 'em in.

- I'll put 'em straight in the bin.

- (THEY LAUGH)

NICK:
So, how have you been, Warren?

I've been all right. I've been good.

Lining a few crows up,

shooting 'em down.

It's good. Things are good.

How you been?

NICK:
I've been OK.

- Are you, er...hungry?

- (NICK CHUCKLES)

- I'm cooking eels.

- You're cooking me eels?

I'm cooking you eels.

- Um...a cup. We need a cup.

- Yeah.

Half a cup, right? Wouldn't like you

to have a full bladder on your trip back.

Oh, speaking of trip back,

look what I got here.

Terrorise your kids with these. I got

them in France when I was over there.

- Some bangers.

- Oh, thanks.

Just don't scare any children,

though, with them, or...

- or dogs. But, er...

- Very good.

- Machine-gun ones, as well.

- Thank you. My wife will be really...

Tell 'em, you go in with ten fingers,

you gotta come out with ten fingers.

Got it.

- Are you hungry?

- Yeah.

Do you remember that gig?

- The Nina Simone gig?

- Oh, yeah.

- F***, that was good, wasn't it?

- Yeah, it was up there. Like,

I've seen a bunch of gigs

that...that's one that was like

one of the greatest things I've ever seen.

Do you remember,

before she started playing,

she took the chewing gum out of her mouth?

- Mm.

- Like, sort of sat down,

took the chewing gum out

and just stuck it on to the piano,

- and then just slammed...

- I have that chewing gum at home.

Yeah, I have that in my...

- What, you got that?

- I took it, yeah.

(LAUGHS) I...I went up

and took it off the stage after.

- Did you really?

- Yeah.

I have it in a towel that she...the one

she wiped her forehead and then went...

- (BLOWS RASPBERRY) ...like that.

- Oh, f***, I'm really jealous.

And, er...it... I remember,

cos Matt mixed her.

Matt apparently walked past her room,

and she was sitting in there

like, looking really pissed off

and not wanting to be there.

And...and he goes like, um...

(TUTS) "Is everything OK, um...

Mrs Simone?" or whatever, you know.

- Dr Simone.

- Dr Simone, I guess.

He probably wouldn't have...

Matt wouldn't have said that.

And, "Is there anything I can get you?"

and, er...she just said,

''I'd like some champagne,

some cocaine and some sausages!"

And, er...and, er...Matt...Matt goes,

''All right, I'll see what I can do."

So, Matt went off

and he got some coke, some champagne

and some sausages for her

and took 'em back

and he said she just had

this big grin on her face

and she goes, "Thank you!" and just...

(SNORTS) ...hoovered up the coke

and drank some champagne

and ate her sausages.

Yeah.

I've never seen an audience like that,

that felt like they were about

to fall in on top of one another.

- Nobody knew what to expect and...

- Well, she...she was...

she was genuinely frightening

when she came on...

- Terrifying.

- ...up the front of the stage.

She literally walked onto the lip

of the stage and stared everyone down...

- Yeah.

- ...like it was...

Well, I remember...I remember seeing...

I had the same thing happen

when I saw "The Killer" play in Paris

and my mate was there

and he's like...comes up to me,

he goes, "Well, good news.

"The...the T- shirt guy

selling the T-shirts."

And I'm like, "Ooh, what do you mean?"

and he goes, "Oh, I saw him last week

in the South of France

"and the T-shirt seller

did most of the set

"and The Killer just sat on the side

and came out...

- Oh, really?

- "and did Great Balls Of Fire

"and then just, like, f***ed off."

And so the band came on

and started playing

and they just sounded

like dog sh*t, you know.

They were just like playing

through the standard stuff

and then...then it was like,

"Jerry Lee's in the house,"

like, "Jerry Lee's in the house", and...

and suddenly you'd look on the side

and there's The Killer just standing there

looking like a kind of orangutan,

just sort of like this, lurching,

and it was like that Nina Simone show,

and the guy walked up and hit the piano

and had this sound like a jackhammer,

and it was unbelievable,

and it was just two microphones

plugged into a Fender Twin wound out,

like everything wound out, just

this sound that's instantly Jerry Lee,

and he walked onto the stage, and

he got to the front of the lip like that,

and just went, "Yeah!" like that,

and everyone was like, "Whoa!" like this.

And then he sat down

and went, "Brrr!" like that,

and then suddenly he started playing

- and the band sounded unbelievable...

- Yeah.

...cos they all got in underneath

this amazing sound of his,

and then he did like a bunch of ballads

in the middle, Hank Williams and stuff,

and then he did Great Balls Of Fire,

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