200 Motels Page #7

(What will I say the next day to whatever I drag to my hotel tonight?)

Will she be outasite?

(Will she be outasite?)

What will I say the next day to whatever I drag to my hotel tonight?

(What will I say the next day to whatever I drag to my hotel tonight?)

If things go all right!

(If things go all right!)

What will I say the next day to whatever I drag to my hotel tonight?

(What will I say the next day to whatever I drag to my hotel tonight?)

Will she be outasite?

(Will she be outasite?)

Well listen. We should get together sometime. Have a jam. Yeah, play some blues. Extensions! Why not some

extended blues licks? White people can play the blues, you know. Extensions! Why n . . . Extensions! Why n . . . Extensions! Why n . . . Extensions! Why not some extended blues licks? Why not some extended blues licks?

Yeah, I gave it to him. Yeah, he went back to the

special room. No, no. He's gonna smoke it.

Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!

He should have never have used the elixir and

only stuck to the incense. Oh, Atlantis . . .

That was BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff IS flipping

out. Road fatigue! We've got to get him back to normal before Zappa finds out, and steals it, and makes him do it in

the movie!

You have a brilliant career ahead of you, my boy,

Just GET OUT OF THIS GROUP!

Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving career guidance to the bass player of a

rock-oriented comedy group. Jeff's imagination has

gone beyond the fringe of audience comprehension.

Jeff, Jeff, it's me, the Phlorescent Leech!

Jeff, Jeff, it's me, Eddie!

I'm stealing the towels! Ha ha . . . ha ha . . .

Stealing the room

Stealing the . . . Stealing the room

(Stealing the room)

I'm I'm

(Stealing)

Stealing Stealing

I'm I'm Stealing

This, as you might have gathered, is the end of the movie. The entire cast is assembled here at the Centerville

Recreational Facility to bid farewell to you, and to

express thanks for your attendance at this theater.

This might seem old fashioned to some of you,

but I'd like to join in on this song.

It's the kind of a sentimental song that you get

at the end of a movie, , it's the kind of

a song that people might sing

to let you in the audience know that we really like

you and care about you, yeah . . .

Understand how hard it is to laugh these days,

with all the terrible problems in the world!

Lord, have mercy on the people in England

For the terrible food these people must eat

(Baaahhh . . . excuse me a minute)

And may the Lord have mercy on the fate of this movie

And God bless the mind of the man in the street

Help all the rednecks and the flatfoot policemen

On the terrible functions they all must perform

God help the winos, the junkies, and the weirdos

And every poor soul who's adrift in the storm.

Help everybody, so they all get some action

Some love on the weekend, some real satisfaction

A room and a meal

And a garbage disposal

A lawn and a hose'll

Be strictly genteel

Lord, have mercy on the hippies and faggots

And the dykes and the weird little children they grow

Help the black man

Help the poor man

Help the milk man

Help the door man

Help the lonely, neglected old farts that I know

Well, it certainly has been swell . . .

If your name wasn't on the list of blessings we've been passing out tonight, we don't want you to be pissed off.

No . . .

We don't want you to leave that theater.

Forgive him, for he knows not what he does.

But before we go on, I'd like to introduce to you . . .

On the other hand, maybe he does know . . .

. . . my good friend and musical associate, Mr. Howard Kaylan who's about to give us a closing final benediction.

They're gonna clear out the studio

They're gonna tear down all the . . .

They're gonna whip down all the . . .

They're gonna sweep out all the . . .

They're gonna pay off all the . . .

(Oh, yeah!)

And then . . .

And then . . .

And then . . .

And then . . .

Hey hey hey, everybody in the orchestra and the chorus

Talkin' 'bout every one of our lovely and talented dancers

Talkin' 'bout the light bulb men

Camera men

The make-up men

(The fake-up men)

Yeah, the rake-up men

(Especially Herbie Cohen, yeah . . .)

They're all gonna rise up

They're gonna jump up

I said jump up

Talkin' 'bout jump right up and off the floor

Jump right up and hit the door

They're all gonna rise up and jump off!

They're gonna ride on home

They're gonna ride on home

They're gonna ride on home

They're gonna ride on home

And once again

Take themselves

Seriously, yeeeah!

Two, three, four, seriously

They're all gonna go home (ye-hey!)

Through the driving sleet and rain

They're all gonna go home

Through the fog, through the dust

Through the tropical fever and the blistering frost

They're all gonna go home

And get out of it as they can be, baby

And the same goes for me

(The same goes for me)

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

And each and every member of this rock

oriented comedy group in his own special way

Is gonna get out of it as he can be

We all gonna get wasted

We all gonna get twisted

We all gonna get wasted

We all gonna get twisted

And I am definitely gonna get . . .

REAMED:

'Cause I'm such a lonely

I'm such a lonely

A lonely, lonely, talkin' 'bout a lonely guy!

Oh, and I know tonight, I am definitely . . .

I am positively . . .

I just have to get . . .

BENT, REAMED AND WASTED

A disaster area the size of Atlantic City, New Jersey!

He's making me do this, ladies and gentlemen. I wouldn't do it if it weren't for him. You noticed, all through this

material, I've been glancing over toward my left? Well, I'll tell you the reason for that, ladies and gentlemen. HE is

over there. HE is over on the left. HE is the guy that is making me do all this sh*t. Right over there.

Now all through this movie, every time we've been on stage, I've had to look over in that direction, right?

You saw it . . . you know. Well that's 'cause HE's

over there. I've got to watch him for signs.

He jumps up and down like a jackass. I can't

even believe the guy sometimes.

But we gotta watch him. "After all," we said,

"it's Frank's movie."

Now, we're THE MOTHERS, but it's still Frank's movie.

Let's say it, he got to paid for it,

he rented the studio, had all these cheesy sets built . . .

It's so moche! I can't even stand it . . .

He's telling everybody, right now,

right over there, to . . .

Dick Barber / David Alexander

Dear Tommy,

200 MOTELS

I would be grateful if you would ensure that all meals,

bar bills and orders for coffee, etc., are, from this date

forwards, to be paid for by the person ordering them.

The only exceptions to this rule are the personnel listed

on the other memo I have sent you.

Regards. David Alexander, Production Manager

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