2012

Hey, hey, watch out. Watch out.

Welcome, my friend.

Great to see you.

Yeah, glad you made it.

This can't be Ajit.

He's a little man already.

- Unbelievable.

- I hope you're hungry, Adrian.

I'm famished. How are you, Aparna?

- I made that fish curry you love.

- I can't wait.

She gets more beautiful

every time I see her. Why is that?

Strange, isn't it?

But her fish curry is still awful.

You were mysterious on the phone.

Why didn't you attend the conference?

- I will show you, Adrian, sir.

- Satnam, stop "siring" me.

How deep do we need to go?

Eleven thousand feet.

I searched all over India

for this thing.

Used to be the deepest copper mine

in the world.

Remember my brother, Gurdeep?

He's a student now.

Namaste, Dr. Helmsley, sir.

Adrian. It's just Adrian.

Just don't pour too much, huh?

How do you work in this heat?

You've come on a good day,

my friend.

Sometimes it can hit 120 degrees.

You have to come and meet

Dr. Lokesh...

...a Fellow of quantum physics

at the university in Chennai.

Dr. Helmsley.

So, what are we looking at?

These are neutrinos acting normally.

Minuscule mass,

no electrical charge.

They pass through ordinary matter

almost undisturbed.

Your message said the count doubled

after the last solar eruptions.

That was last week.

But this happened two days ago.

The biggest Sun eruptions

in human history...

...causing the highest neutrino count

we've ever recorded.

My God.

That's not what worries me, Adrian.

For the first time ever...

...the neutrinos are causing

a physical reaction.

That's impossible.

That feels very good.

Please, follow me.

You won't believe this.

This water tank goes down

another 6000 feet.

It looks like the neutrinos

coming from the Sun...

...have mutated into a new kind

of nuclear particle.

They're heating up

the Earth's core...

...and suddenly act like microwaves.

Ladies and gentlemen,

as promised, no speech...

...just a thank-you...

...because tonight,

with your extraordinary generosity...

...we have raised $1.7 million.

Have a stiff drink,

because I'm locking the doors...

- ... and passing the hat around again.

- It's okay. It's okay.

- I work for the White House.

- I don't care.

This is a black-tie event.

Scotty.

Hey. Adrian, I thought you were

in India. What's going on?

- I need yourjacket.

- What?

I gotta speak to Anheuser.

Give me your damn jacket, please.

- All right.

- Okay?

- All right, here. Here.

- Hold that for a minute, will you?

Hey! Easy, that's a $600 jacket.

Mr. Anheuser?

Mr. Anheuser.

I need to talk to you.

- Do I know you?

- Sorry, sir.

My name's Dr. Adrian Helmsley.

I'm a deputy geologist at the Office

of Science and Technology Policy.

Excuse me, fellas.

You know that this is a fundraiser,

not a frat party, right?

- It's important, sir.

- You know what? It always is.

Make an appointment with my...

You know, even better:

Have your boss bring it up

at the quarterly briefing.

There's a good plan.

I just traveled 20 straight hours

to get here, sir.

I haven't slept in two days.

You need to read this, sir.

You need to read it now.

Let me guess,

national geology crisis?

Excuse me.

- Who do you report to?

- Lee Cavazos.

Not anymore.

Alan, bring the car around.

- You're gonna wish you took a shower.

- Sir?

You're about to meet the president.

What's going on?

Get that to the office.

No G8! No G8! No G8!

Good morning.

I would like to meet privately

with my fellow heads of state.

Mr. Makarenko wishes

to have his interpreters present.

Mr. President, I can assure you...

...your English is more than sufficient

for what I have to say.

Mr. Presidents.

Six months ago...

...I was made aware of a situation

so devastating...

...that, at first, I refused to believe it.

However...

...through the concerted efforts...

...of our brightest scientists...

...we have confirmed its validity.

The world as we know it...

...will soon come to an end.

This dam project

will create many newjobs.

The Party and country

will assist in your relocation.

Grandma, give me your hand.

- But where are they taking us?

- It'll be all right.

Brother!

Grandma, I will send you money.

Who can write?

Who can read?

Who can weld?

Has His Highness had an opportunity

to study the dossier?

You must understand,

I have a very big family, Mr...?

Isaacs.

One billion dollars is a lot of money.

I'm afraid the amount is in euros,

Your Highness.

I put a lot of faith

into your organization.

It's a perfect replica, Roland.

There are too many fanatics out there

that could damage her.

Just think about the beautiful Buddha

statues they blew up in Afghanistan.

Our Heritage Organization

has already made selections...

...from the British Museum

and L'Hermitage.

I guess she'll be safe now,

tucked away...

...hidden in some bunker

in Switzerland.

Perfectly safe, Roland.

Only infrared analysis

would reveal the difference.

But it's still a fake.

This mass suicide was actually

discovered by a documentary crew...

...here in the ancient Mayan city

of Tikal.

Now, the victims,

and we've seen many...

...are said to have adhered

to the Mayan-Quiche calendar...

...which predicts

the end of time to occur...

...on the 21st of December

of this year...

...due to the Sun's

destructive forces.

Thank you, Mark.

Strangely enough,

scientific records do support the fact...

...that we are heading for the biggest

solar climax in recorded history.

Well, yes.

Apparently many people believe

that the Mayan calendar predicts...

...that there's supposed

to be a galactic alignment...

I'm a dead man.

I'm a dead man. I'm a dead man.

...it's the end of the world in 2012.

Goddamn it.

Hey, Kate. I'm practically

on the freeway right now.

Yes, I'm hurtling toward you

as we speak.

Will you relax?

Yeah, I'll be there any second.

You know it's a vacation

and not a doctor's appointment, right?

That it's supposed to be fun?

You remember fun, don't you, Kate?

Do you remember where you were

when it stopped being fun for you?

Yeah. I got it.

Bug spray? Oh, yeah, because

it's mosquito season in Yellowstone.

I got a whole bunch. Okay, I gotta go,

because I'm in a bad-reception area.

Whoa, man.

Would you look at that?

Sick.

Merrill, I told you.

We have to move back

to Wisconsin.

Yeah, but these little mini-quakes

are really getting on my nerves.

A little surface crack? You're not

gonna be inconvenienced by that.

Right, surface cracks.

I got a plastic surgeon for that.

Thank God for those shake-proof

coffee mugs, Lisa.

They show the true nature

of us Californians.

We'll not bow to these inconvenient

things like surface cracks.

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