20 Feet from Stardom Page #6

Oh, and I love you baby

River deep and mountain high

Phil Spector's name

started getting big,

my name started getting big,

because the rock and roll people

like Bruce and Elton John

and Stevie wanted to know

who that girl singer was.

I want you baby

I mean, she without question,

is a lead singer.

You started to pick up that voice

and you began

to have an allegiance to that voice.

River deep, mountain high

If I lost you, would I cry?

That made me wanna be out there

by myself even more as a solo artist.

Baby, baby

I saw then I'd have to leave that group

to become a solo singer.

Singing background, to me,

it was like a rehearsal for what I was

gonna do for my project.

I wanted to sing as Merry Clayton,

to the masses. I wanted to get

my stuff out to the masses,

and God sent me Lou Adler.

Merry consciously wanted to be

a solo artist and a star.

Whenever Merry appeared,

standing ovations.

I mean, it's as if they never had seen

or heard someone like that.

Southern man

You'd better keep your head

Don't forget

what your good book said

When it came to my project, I was

gonna kick ass and take names.

Southern man

When will you pay them back?

I heard screaming

Bullwhip cracking

How long? How long?

How long?

Baby, how long?

She made three

really good albums.

They all sound like somebody

that's as big as Aretha Franklin.

Why don't you get

yourself together?

Get your heart, your mind

And your soul together, oh

I think Lou did a great job

and A&M did a great job

promoting my records here.

I think you do, number one,

have to have that kill spirit,

to really want it.

Now, Merry Clayton got the kill spirit.

I don't know why

she wasn't a superstar.

One day I'm gonna cut him down

You see I heard screaming

Bullwhips they were cracking

How long? Oh, how long?

Can you tell me?

Oh, southern man keep your head

We did everything possible,

and it just didn't take.

The industry,

it was controlled.

There were rules.

She was a gospel singer.

There's only one Aretha.

You know, and that's the way

they felt in those days.

It could only be Aretha.

Only could be Diana Ross.

Good book said

Well, you can't

forget what your

- Good book said

- Oh

Yes, I became frustrated at one time,

said, "Damn, the record didn't

go any further than this?

What're we doing wrong?"

I felt like if I just gave

my heart to what I was doing,

I would automatically be a star.

Southern man

I think what happens with

the whole issue of background

versus lead singing is, you know,

the material that you're given

and how you work with producers.

In the mid '70s, Darlene

Love is finally freed

from her contract

with Phil Spector.

I had signed with Gamble and Huff.

Who were, at that time,

the hottest thing out there.

And I say, "OK, here's my career.

It's gonna really go now. "

And, uh, there was

another door I ran into.

Within weeks, they sell her

contract back to Phil Spector

and the nightmare continues.

This was the new Phil Spector.

He did the Beatles thing and,

you know, he was a big star,

so now he's gonna act like a big star

in front of this little star,

Darlene Love,

and I wasn't having it.

It got to be so bad,

I just said, "You know what?

I've had it. "

That's what I said to myself.

Took the earphones off my ears,

put 'em in the chain

picked up my coat, put it on

and walked out the studio.

I didn't see Phil Spector

no more for over 20 years.

Many of these singers

came out of the music business at a time

when the singer depended

on a songwriter,

somebody who knew

how to feature their voice,

somebody who knew how

to create a hit arrangement.

Those are a lot of things

to be dependent upon, you know.

And I know so many people

with incredible voices,

but if you don't find someone

who understands who you are,

you can be a great singer

and just not... and that...

just not make that next step,

you know. There's...

I mean, the country's filled

with them, you know.

There's no guarantees

in entertainment.

There's no... no guarantees.

I had been offered the chance

to go solo several times,

and then ultimately, I ended up

with Warner Brothers.

The studio was smoking.

It was just...

and it was just amazing.

It was just amazing and...

And how was

the record received?

Mm... not that well.

If you are out there and

your name is on that doggone marquee,

the pressure is on 'em, and sometimes

that can... that can cause, uh,

problems in a person's life.

I had a contract as a solo artist

and then I was kept on, but shelved.

So I was on Motown, but not.

And it hasn't been easy.

You know, there's stuff

that goes on with people.

I had a daughter to raise.

I had a band to support.

I mean, it just got crazy.

The kind of feeling

that you get

from people

screaming in the audience,

if you're always looking for that

in life, you're gonna crash.

The focus wasn't

on music anymore.

I had to send my daughter to live

with my brother and his kids,

while I was trying to scrape

things together to pay the gas bill.

I remember her putting out a record,

but then I looked up and then...

I didn't see Claudia anymore.

She said thank you and goodnight,

that's what she said.

I thought people would be

banging down my door for deals,

and it didn't happen like that.

"You're too fat.

You're too old.

You know, you should seriously

think about another career. "

And after that, it's hell.

I think if I had "made" it,

like what the world...

millions of dollars, all that,

I probably wouldn't be sitting in this

chair talking to you right know,

'cause I would have OD'd somewhere.

It's not a level playing field.

It never is a level playing field,

and you come into life understanding

that. It's not about fairness.

It's not really about talent,

you know.

It's... circumstance,

it's luck. It's destiny.

I don't know what it is, but

the best people deal with that.

Working with Michael

really did inspire me,

and saying like, "Wow,

it's OK to dream this big.

It's OK to realize your dreams. "

I still believe

Someday

You'll come around

She's representational of

what's happening with background singers

at this point. I know she aspires

to be a solo artist, though.

I pray

This last tour, I heard from other

friends that were with Michael

that he just loved her and,

of course, she got the job.

You know, we were so excited

for him and for us to be

able to do this show,

and it was coming together.

I can't do that.

But you're fine to do it.

I gotta save my voice.

I ain't going nowhere

'Cause I...

And then all of a sudden,

we're on our way to rehearsal

and we get the news and it's like,

"You gotta be kidding me.

Like, how's that even possible?"

We'll always be waiting

So somewhere in me

It's such an overwhelming

shock just to go from

almost on our way

to this huge show,

to all of a sudden, he's gone.

You

I was crying

throughout the service

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