20th Century Women Page #3

friends since we were little.

She likes to say she's self

destructive.

His mother is a therapist.

We used to talk and I...

She makes Julie attend her teen group

sessions.

What about the possibility?

That you're choosing boys

who are inappropriate?

Unconsciously.

When her mother remarried, Julie

changed.

When her half sister

Amanda was born...

with Cerebral Palsy, she changed more.

You know what I mean.

Wow. It looks really pretty on you,

it just makes your whole face pop.

Like soda pop.

She started fooling around.

She started sneaking into my house.

Sleeping over.

- Because you did?

- Because I'm crazy.

You want to be crazy.

Scratch me.

We should go up the coast somewhere.

Just me and you.

Julie works at the La Cumbre Plaza

mall.

Spring rain features cinnamon,

jasmine, lily-of-the-valley and rose.

Sex is commitment.

once you're there,

you cant go back to holding hands.

and once you give yourself

both mentally and physically...

well, you're completely vulnerable.

All he cares about is his

new wife and her birthday.

And Christmas with her and her family.

And inviting all of her family.

Spring rain features cinnamon,

jasmine, lily-of-the-valley and rose.

Of all the misconceptions about

love...

the most powerful and persuasive is

the belief that falling in love...

is love.

or at least one of the manifestations of

love.

Love is supposed to be a feeling

that you feel.

People say that they're falling in love...

but they're not actually falling in

love.

It's a fake connection that

you feel with some.

and marriage should never happen.

YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED,

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU.

DIE!

Hey, Julie.

- Hey.

- Hi.

So come on in.

It's Okay, come in.

He's not up yet.

He got in kinda late.

Hey you wanna help me

bring this stuff in?

So is Jamie okay?

Yeah.

He's okay.

I heard by him come in last night.

I was awake.

Right.

Yea, I was just, couldn't sleep.

so I was, you know, listening for him.

How was the show?

Good.

Next time you take a trip,

just let me know, okay?

I won't make too much dinner.

Hey, do the stocks with me?

Yeah.

Okay, IBM.

IBM, $69.73

Xerox.

You okay?

Xerox, $53.92.

- Stop.

- Okay, $ 53.92.

Listen.

Abbie has her appointment

today and I can't be here...

And I have to go to work.

So I was hoping that

maybe you could be here.

When she gets back.

In case she needs support.

She is going through a lot.

Okay, What if it's..

Like bad news or something?

Well, you can handle it or if you can't...

You have to start somewhere.

Men always feel like they have to

fix things for women...

But they are not doing anything.

But some things just can't be fixed.

Just be there...

Somehow, that's hard for you all.

Mom, I'm not "all men".

Okay. I'm just me.

Yes and no.

And if I have to have full on chemo?

Or get a hysterectomy?

Do you know what that is?

Look,I should just go with you.

You know, I mean..

Your mom did tell me to share my

life with you.

Yeah I know.

You don't...

Don't worry 'bout it, she just...

She's from The Depression.

Yeah.

It's good news Abbie.

There were no malignant cells.

Your biopsy is benign.

And.. in the future?

There was damage to the muscle wall.

From the surgery.

You have an incompetent cervix.

Incompetent?

It may not be strong enough...

to go full term during pregnancy.

As the baby grows...

the cervix widens.

If it's weakened,

it's likely to open prematurely.

I'm gonna be OK.

He said that I probably

can't have kids.

Was having Jamie like...

the biggest thing that

ever happened to you?

I guess so.

Sorry.

No.

You'll get through this.

You will get through it.

You will do it.

This is the really hard part.

And then what happens is.

there's a hard part and then it

gets better.

And then it gets hard

again, but never mind.

I should not have told you that part.

I should've just said it gets better

and then..That's it.

But...

You got birds?

Is that ok?

Yes.

So did you name them?

Not yet.

They are a boy and a girl.

And, that, they are monogamous for life.

So...

If one of them dies, then the other one...

He will die like a week later.

How about Maximilian and Carlotta?

Right, I...

You know, They deserve something grand.

they're gonna be monogamous their

whole lives.

Right?

Max and Carlotta are

really good names.

So...

You went to the doctor's and

you waited with her.

Yeah.

But I told you to wait here.

I..um...

I thought it would be better to...

go and really be there.

She is really upset.

That must have been a lot to deal with.

I'm fine.

I'm good.

I...

I learned a lot

Abigail Porter.

Home pregnancy tests that...

Women can do safely and easily.

A small revolution for...

women seeking to take

control of their lives.

What the f*** is this?

It's a pregnancy test.

Abbie's doctors said that...

She wouldnt be able to have kids.

Why'd she take you?

- Is that all of it?

- Yeah.

That's a lot.

Now what?

Shake for 10 seconds.

Okay.

Leave undisturbed for 2 hours.

2 hours?

that's what it says.

Okay. If it appears then

you're positive,

And if no ring appears here

then the test is negative.

What do we do for two hours?

Guy's don't smoke like that.

Don't hold it like that.

Like...

This.

Between your two fingers.

- That?

- Yes, that's better.

Okay now, walk,

do like a cool cigarette walk.

Guys aren't supposed look like they're

thinking about what they look like.

Watch me.

See?

Smoking is gross.

No, it's not.

Gives you cancer.

This is just my opinion,

I think being strong..

..is the most important quality.

It's not being vulnerable,

It's not being sensitive.

It's not even...

Honestly, it's not even being happy.

It's about strength.

And your durability

against the other emotions.

No ring.

No ring.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Thanks for going with me.

Yeah, totally.

I made you this.

- It's a mixed tape.

- Yep.

These are bunch of songs,

that I think my life...

would have been better

if they would have been around.

When I was a teenager.

So I'm hoping,

that if you listen to them, now...

you'll be a happier and

more realized person...

than I could ever hope to be.

From that night on...

Abbie started telling me

everything.

She grew up in Santa Barbara.

Where everyone is happy.

but that just made her feel crazy.

In 1973 she moved to New York City...

and went to Art school.

New York City made her feel same.

She was so f***ed up.

She fell in love with photography.

She learned to dance when she got sad.

She saw "The Man Who Fell to Earth"...

And dyed her hair red.

I figured out how to be looked at it...

by men, and...

How to Make Them...

excited and uncomfortable.

I am so cocky and

I was so angry.

And I was so happy.

She fell in love with her teacher.

- Then she went to Planned Parenthood.

- Abigail Porter.

Her friends couldn't deal with

her having cancer.

So she went home to her mom.

Hey Mom.

Gail, did you ever take DES?

When you were pregnant with Abe?

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