24 Wochen

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24 WEEKS

Astrid! Your mic's not working.

Hang on.

We did a soundcheck.

- Is it working?

Nice save there.

The cauliflower joke was funny.

And?

- Don't move.

You'll see. Good luck!

- Oh, great.

Time to go. Did you go to the bathroom?

- I could go again.

What's up with the mic?

- Astrid Lorenz!

Good evening. Thank you.

Astrid Lorenz!

- Thanks, Gerburg.

Thank you.

Thank you. Good evening.

So...

Notice anything?

- You're pregnant!

Exactly! I have new shoes.

Pretty neat, huh?

I couldn't care less what it'll be.

As long as it's a she.

My boyfriend wants a boy.

Great. So I explain to him:

boys are lazy.

They can walk at birth,

they just won't.

The birth rate keeps plummeting.

Being pregnant? So uncool!

People understand

"burnout" or "Alzheimer's",

but "I'm pregnant" is like saying,

"I'm moving to North Korea"

or "I'm joining ISIS".

"Pregnant?! Will you recover?!"

Why bother getting pregnant these days?

You can download kids, right?

But, hey, listen up:

A kid ain't keeping me off the stage.

You can tell a decent joke and lactate!

This way.

Car 8, right?

Mommy!

Oh, sh*t!

- I'm coming up!

Stop, Nele! Nele!

I'm gonna get you!

I'll make it really high.

And then you can sleep there.

- With my little brother.

Or your little sister.

I don't want a sister.

- No?

No.

- Why not?

I'd rather have a boy-girl.

- A boy-girl?

We'll put it here

and it'll be like a huge treehouse,

but on stilts and not in a tree.

A stilt-house.

"It always surprises me

how you make me and so many others laugh.

Your hair is stunning.

Which shampoo do you use?

I've heard that you're a managar.

Markus Hndler... "

My managar.

- Manager!

And I'm Markus Hger.

It's not that hard to read.

"... so wonderful... "

What?

"I'm not embarrassed to... "

- No, not the part about the genitals!

This guy here says,

"You're the best stand-up comedian...

there is out there. "

He wonders

when you'll announce your new program.

Is that so?

- Yeah. He wants to know.

Lots of people do.

- Look!

Great!

- Like Spiderman.

It doesn't work like that.

- I know.

But we have 36 shows booked next year.

- Really? Awesome!

It is, but they want a new program.

- You don't get it.

Watch out! You're squashing the baby.

- Sorry! Sorry.

It's okay.

If we wait for the perfect program,

we'll end up living in our hammocks.

And in our treehouse.

Are you ready?

We should get going.

You're no good at this.

- That's what Nele always says.

You haven't cut this one in a while.

Thank you.

What is it you do again?

- I do feet.

She only mentioned vanilla sugar.

Her special tip.

- Vanilla sugar?

I didn't try that. I used cane sugar.

White or brown?

- Brown.

And what did you serve it on?

- Pancakes.

Did they turn out firm or fluffy?

- Really firm.

You're stuffed after one.

With organic apple-mango syrup.

Hello.

- Hello.

Hello.

The test also showed it's a boy.

Down's Syndrome varies a great deal.

It affects children differently.

Some have severe Down's,

others have a very mild form.

How... sure are you?

Not 100 percent sure. 98 percent.

In Germany, there's also the option

of a late-term abortion.

Theoretically,

until the end of the pregnancy.

Would you like to call in your assistant?

Why?

You could bake the pancakes here.

With cane sugar, vanilla sugar.

Let's have a pancake party!

With whipped cream from Safeway.

That's my special tip. It's delicious!

Then stuff the pancakes

into your assistant's mouth

until she explodes!

- Astrid!

Hang on, will you!

I took a drag on a cigarette

at Simone's birthday party.

And?

I think I had a sneaky one

with Beate too.

That doesn't affect

our child's chromosome count.

What are we going to do?

I'll buy two pieces of Danish.

One for you, and one... for you.

And then...

We'll sleep on it, together, and...

Then we'll cancel your show.

I've been

with my boyfriend for eight years.

And as you can see,

I'm putting him to good use.

But times are tough, you know?

The hair on his head is disappearing

and reappearing on his back.

A lot of men have this problem.

How about you?

Is that a wig or a hair piece?

Wig? Good job.

No, don't answer. I see you...

Everything's... just fine.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, Astrid Lorenz!

Astrid Lorenz.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Would you take that for me, Barbara?

- You were great.

No! Marco! No way!

Smoking?

- Just sucking. I have to go see my mom.

There you are! Did you like it?

It was great! But different somehow.

- Really?

Yep. I wanted to show you something.

I just tried it out.

A little cut on the left and right.

Bingo.

Get your nose done too then.

- Beauty tips!

Any tips for me?

- Oh, yeah. I'd start with your hair.

By the way:
a bit overdressed,

but real funny, as always.

Abdel, dude!

Did you mean that? Your eyes...

I meant it.

- Those rings around your eyes...

What about them?

- You look stressed out, my child.

Let me take off those earrings.

It's okay, I can do that.

- What's up with you? I don't...

What? I just had a show.

No, something's up.

I notice these things. I know when you...

Tell me, Astrid.

Mom, what do you want to hear?

- Beate, want to meet Basti?

Pastewka? He's upstairs.

- Really?

I can introduce you.

- Sure!

You know him as well.

- Mom's here too.

Think he'll be able

to clean up his room on his own?

Eat by himself?

Shower?

Go to the bathroom?

Or do they wear diapers?

Oh, Mom, hurry up!

She's started gabbing again.

Unbelievable.

As a kid, I used to play with a downie.

Really?

- Yes.

"Downie".

Is it okay to say that?

Sure.

"Mongo" isn't okay.

Unless you're the parents, of course.

What will he look like?

Probably a bit like you.

And a bit like me.

Just with Down's.

Can we handle it?

I loved the Honecker-Ulbricht jokes

my dad used to tell.

Life was funnier

before the Wall came down.

You're from the GDR: are you a nudist?

- Always.

Today's an exception:

my manager said I couldn't...

turn up naked.

Well, what a pity!

It would've been wasted on radio anyway.

Let's come back to your maternity leave.

You're expecting

your second child.

How do you organize life with two kids?

Always on the go,

from one stage to the next.

How can you be

the mom you want to be?

Say something in English.

A somersault!

- Stop it! Nele...

Daddy should do a somersault.

Do the forward roll again...

- She'll kill herself!

Hey, gals.

- Hi.

What happened to you?

- Don't ask.

Everything okay?

- Everything's fine.

I'll pick her up at the museum tomorrow.

- Perfect.

Ciao.

Ciao.

- Have a nice evening.

And...

Didn't you want to jump?

- Yes, I did.

But?

Chickened out, I guess.

How old was I?

Two.

- Two?

And that big?

I don't want to...

- Just wait and see.

No.

Sorry. I have to take this.

Come on, now. Come.

Sounds good, huh?

- Get off me, Mom!

Hello.

- Hi. We didn't want to interrupt.

Hi. Sorry. Astrid Lorenz.

- Hello.

Hi.

- Introduce yourselves to our visitors.

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