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them home each week for the weekend.

Maybe you could take...

No.

My brother's allergic.

Marcus?

Yeah.

Everything alright?

Yeah, everything's fine.

F***, this is boring as sh*t.

Bloody reffo.

I reckon someone should

sew his lips together.

TEACHER:
Luke! Tom!

TEACHER:
Right, get out of here now.

Both of you.

Hey, what do you reckon of

that Clare chick in there?

The fat one?

She's not fat!

Nah, huge, man.

She's got good tits, though, man.

My girl has twice the tits

and half the frame.

Yeah, but that's Sarah, you know?

I mean, she's like a twig.

Go too hard on Sarah

you could break her...

...if you've got a small cock.

Virgin!

Shut the f*** up, man.

What?

Cheers.

I was thinking, right,

I reckon I wanna arsefuck her.

Sarah?

Yeah.

What's wrong with that, man?

You wanna arsefuck her?

Nothing gay, man.

No, you just wanna

put your cock in her...

F*** you.

Oi, check it out.

TEACHER:
What is that smell?

TEACHER:
Steven?

Steven!

Can I see you outside?

Oh!

What is the matter with you?

Steven, I'm speaking to you.

A bit old for this sort of thing,

aren't you?

You'd better go

and get yourself cleaned up

then you'd better go

and see the counsellor.

Mr Darcy, my bag and books...

...are inside.

Aren't we lucky

it wasn't number twos.

LUKE:
I was thinking, right -

I reckon I wanna arsefuck her.

TOM:
Sarah?

LUKE:
Yeah.

LUKE:
What's wrong with that, man?

TOM:
You wanna arsefuck her?

Nothing gay, man.

No, you just wanna

put your cock in her...

LUKE:
F*** you.

TOM:
Oi, check it out.

Hey, how you going, Uneven Steven?

Steve, are you alright, bro?

You had an accident?

You've pissed yourself, man.

That's horrible.

You reek, mate!

Watch out! Watch out! Stairs!

LUKE:
Sh*t, that sucks.

Oh, wait up, man!

I didn't mean to do it.

I mean, it's not like...

it's not like I can control it.

Before I knew it, it was...

my trousers were just wet.

It's just like a routine now.

My parents, they used to send me

with these... with perfume to school

to try and mask the smell,

but... that was pretty hopeless.

And then they tried -

well, we tried -

these pad thingies,

and I think they were meant to

absorb the wee, but...

...God, that was a stupid idea.

That didn't work either.

So now the only thing

that I can really do

is pack the same pair of trousers

that I'm wearing that day

and underwear

and then take them to school

and... yeah.

That... I suppose that works, but...

...some days I go...

I wet myself more than once,

and it's frustrating.

It's embarrassing.

MELODY:
Sure, we think

we have family and friends.

But when stuff happens...

...when really serious

stuff happens...

...you just feel so alone.

And you can't tell people.

I mean, they'll probably listen.

But they don't know everything.

In fact, they don't know anything.

There's just...

some stuff you can't share.

So, what do you do then?

GIRL:
He is really beautiful.

Which one?

Luke.

I know you think he is.

Yeah, he is.

So, um...

...would you, uh... would you f*** him?

Sorry. I mean, um,

would you give him your virginity?

So, did you hear Michael's

back in hospital?

Yeah, I... I heard.

SARAH:
Slut.

F***ing b*tch.

Don't worry about it.

No. Who the hell

does she think she is?

Seriously, don't worry about it.

Anyway, I gotta go.

OK, well, I'll see you at 4:00?

Yeah.

SARAH:
I can't believe it.

She was right there with it.

Well, what was it?

It was positive.

F***.

So she's pregnant?

Wait. Sarah, tell me

exactly what happened.

She stopped and I... and I saw her.

What was I supposed to do, huh?

Never thought she'd get a f***.

Bullshit.

Whose do you

think it is, then?

Sarah, come on.

Nah.

Don't do this to me, Sarah.

You don't understand.

She's with him more than I am.

Look, he loves you.

You know he does. This is stupid.

You do this every time!

Look, it's his. I know it.

Slut.

F***ing b*tch.

MELODY:
Don't worry about it.

No. Who the hell does

she think she is?

Hey, babe.

I gotta go.

Oh, babe. Just a minute?

Sorry.

SARAH:
God, they were all

so jealous of Luke and I.

He had his pick of every girl

in the school and he chose me.

It's not like I tried

to trick him or anything.

I didn't.

I can trust him. I know I can.

But girls can be so bitchy,

and, frankly, they'll do anything

to get what they want.

It's not always the guy's fault.

STEVEN:
At home I've got

this list of, um...

...all the football greats,

like Beckham and Ronaldo

and Zidane and all of them.

One day I'm gonna be on that list.

STEVEN:
And this is

Steven's comeback game.

He's been out for about a year

with a leg injury now,

and what an important comeback game

this one is set to be.

He's just gotten

his first touch of the game

and it looks to be a good'un -

interception at the halfway line.

He takes it round one defender.

Oh, skips past another

and he's gone past Ronaldo

like he's not even there.

He lays it off.

This is brilliant play.

He gets it back at the edge

of the box and he shoots,

and it's straight into

the top-right corner!

Oh, and the crowd go wild!

This is absolutely brilliant play

by Steven and England.

Wembley hasn't seen

play like this since '66.

The Brazilians are gutted.

MARCUS:
I was watching

one of those courtroom dramas,

and, uh, there's that moment when

the jury come out of deliberation

and they tell the judge whether

or not this guy's gonna be guilty.

Oh, the tension is so thick you...

...you actually could cut it

with a knife.

I mean, that's what

it was like when, um,

when we get a test

or an assignment back.

You know, you just avoid all

the scribble on all of the pages

and you just head straight

to the verdict.

I mean, I usually do pretty well.

Um...

...but, you know,

those few times, um,

I heard that guilty verdict

it was my dad.

Yeah, he really tore me up.

You know, he's always, like,

"Oh, yeah, yeah, it's good,

"but, um... is it good enough?"

And everything always just has to

be so f***ing perfect with him.

He's... he's usually right, though.

Marcus.

Yeah, look, um, I just...

I just saw my mark for the test.

Yeah, 87. Not bad.

Yeah, I know it's pretty good,

but I need three more per cent.

Well, there's no

negotiating of marks.

Look, I understand that

in any other circumstance,

and that would be fine...

No, no, in ALL circumstances

we don't change the marks.

Look, please, you don't understand.

If you could just check over

that paper once,

I'm sure we can find it!

No, I'm not checking anything.

Please. Put my mind at rest.

Look, Marcus, if you wanna

continue with this nonsense

we can talk about lowering

your overall mark by 5%.

Mrs Jacobs, look,

you don't understand!

Goodbye, Marcus. Goodbye, Marcus.

Please!

F***!

Hey. I got the music you were after.

What's up with you?

She wouldn't even f***ing

listen to me.

Who?

Jacobs.

I needed 90%.

What did you get?

What are you talking about?

Marcus...

I think, um, most people

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