2 Days in the Valley Page #2

You have nice eyes.

Yeah, it just open.

What you want I do?

I'd like...

What's the matter?

I take too much time.

Next customer waiting.

What you want I do?

I should go.

I gotta go.

I didn't realize the time.

I gotta meet somebody.

You want nothing else?

No, thank you.

What happened?

Nothing. She didn't do anything.

Just a straight massage.

- What?

- Maybe she made me as a cop.

Are you trying to tell me that's

a legitimate Japanese therapy studio?

No. I'm trying to tell you

that nothing happened.

That place is definitely a hand job

house, and we're gonna raid it.

Every one of them slanty-eyed whores I

am gonna personally throw in the can...

and make sure

they're deported.

Hey, Alvin,

can I ask you a question?

I hate it when people ask me if

they can ask a question. Just ask it.

Why do you hate Asians so much?

I don't hate Asians.

I don't like whores.

- Hey, Alvin?

- Just ask it.

Okay. There are about a hundred

massage parlors in L.A.

For years, Vice hasn't bothered

any of them. Why start now?

Because this one's

in the Valley.

All the others are downtown...

or in Culver City or Santa Monica,

but this one's right in the Valley...

and there are gonna be

no massage parlors in the Valley!

I was born two miles from here.

I own a house in Studio City.

This is a nice place to live.

I would like to keep it that way.

That f***in' place

opened four weeks ago...

and it ain't gonna operate

a day after today.

Does that answer your question?

Good.

I thought this was a thing

out of New York.

I thought this was a bad guy

who welched on a bet.

What was all this sh*t

about Koreans and spies?

You know,

curiosity killed the cat.

You're a real pisser,

aren't you?

You like f***ing with people's heads?

How did you find me?

In the phone book

under "Washout."

You know about that.

Look, I'm grateful

for a chance at a...

at a comeback.

To tell you the truth, you know

what I was doing when you called?

Flipping pizzas at Polly's.

Who the f*** are you?

How come you know so much about me?

I know more about you than

you know about yourself, "Dumbo."

My name is Dosmo.

Dosmo Pizzo.

What do you know about me

that I don't know?

This is where you get out.

Have a little coke.

All done, honey?

- What a buffoon.

- Roy?

Dumbo, the pizza man.

Roy's dead, right?

You killed him?

- Why, you gonna miss him?

- Of course not.

You didn't enjoy yourself

with him?

We have to get out of here.

You definitely didn't sleep

with Roy?

We're not going

through this again.

What exactly did you do?

We kissed, necked. That's all.

- He didn't touch your breasts?

- No.

I'm just telling you, if I found out

you were lying, I'd go crazy.

Don't go crazy, okay?

Now let's just go.

I can walk by myself!

- Let me help.

- I don't need it, all right?

I'm not a cripple.

I'm just sore.

Hot and sore.

It must be 110 f***ing degrees!

What happened up there?

A car fire. Some kids

blew up a car up there, I think.

Oh, sh*t.

A f***ing dog!

A dog! F***!

Do you have to follow

a special diet now too?

Yep.

No more dairy products,

no red meat...

no milk, no nuts,

no coffee, no tea...

no chocolate.

- No sex.

- Are you kidding?

I've got to drink three gallons

of water a day.

I never want to be without

a glass of water in my hand.

I have to be constantly

pouring water down my throat.

Where's the only joy

of my life?

He was by the pool

when I left.

You fed him last night?

Flavored his food with bacon?

Yes.

- Good girl.

- Me or the dog?

The dog is a boy.

Oh, sh*t!

Sorry.

Open the door

and let the air in.

And let Mark in.

Call the hospital. Find the name of

the fag who gave his credit card for me.

I want to send him,

maybe, a Chagall lithograph.

That's very generous.

Thanks.

I owe this guy.

He might have saved my life.

You must still be sedated.

You never gave me a Chagall print,

and I've worked for you for eight years.

Susan, if you wanted,

I could give you something better.

What?

With a little surgery,

you don't have to be that homely.

I'd pay for implants and liposuction,

but don't take it as an insult.

You know how much I like you.

I'll let your dog in.

If you fixed yourself up,

you might meet a man.

Hello, Audrey, it's me.

Your kidney stone-less

half-brother.

That's right.

I had them last night.

Did Mom have kidney stones?

The urologist wanted to know.

If you're checking your machine

before you leave work, just come on by.

I need a nurse.

Susan?

Susan, don't be so sensitive.

Christ!

For God sakes, Susan.

Come back inside.

Call him off!

Who are you?

Call your f***ing dog off!

Mark!

Come here!

Mark! Heel!

Call him off!

He's not vicious. He wants to fetch.

He's waiting for you to throw the gun.

You better get over here...

and drag him away,

or I'll shoot him.

And then I'll shoot

the both of you too.

Do you have something to do with

that car that blew up on Mulholland?

I was supposed to be

in the car.

There's a man that's gonna come looking

for me to finish the job he botched.

- I'd like to borrow your car keys.

- Give him the keys.

I'm going to pull him away.

Good idea. Prick f***.

F*** prick. F*** you.

God, are you ugly.

Do I know you?

- Me?

- You look familiar.

- Susan, let him go.

- Susan what?

Parish,

but I changed it from Pollutzo.

Pollutzo is a beautiful name.

You shouldn't have changed it.

- You got a smoke?

- No, I don't smoke.

Look, I'm not a thief,

but I need money.

I lost my wallet.

No, not yours. His.

All I is have is about $40.

It's crooked.

Pollutzo?

Sh*t! Sh*t!

Leave the dog outside.

You two come in.

Shut the door!

You got anything to eat here?

I'm f***ing starving.

Got any pasta, marinara sauce?

Any garlic?

Why don't you just go?

Take the car and leave.

You want us to cook for you?

No, no, I'll cook.

You know, people don't realize

how important a minute is.

So much life revolves

around a single minute.

You have a minute egg,

minute waltz, Minute Rice.

People are always demanding

you give them a minute.

Nobody realizes how valuable it is

until they only have one left.

Wait.

Just stand there a minute.

I just wanna look at you.

God definitely broke the mold

after you, baby.

Tell that to my modeling agency.

Tell them yourself.

You're not too tall.

It's the world

that's too short.

God, you are beautiful.

You know,

when I asked Roy...

if you approached him

on behalf of the North Koreans...

and he had 16 seconds

to answer...

I think he wet his bed.

Why did you go through

that ridiculous story?

Just to torture him?

Sometimes I think you should've been

born during the Spanish Inquisition.

Your minute is up.

Lay back.

Don't put your hand

around my throat.

I think you like it a little.

No, I don't.

It makes me not trust you.

You can trust me.

You can always trust me.

Just like I trusted you

with Roy.

Which breast did he touch?

This one?

He didn't have to touch either

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