3000 Miles to Graceland Page #4

Where are you going?

"More coffee, sir?"

I'm going to the little girls' room. Okay?

Don't fall in.

You like my mom?

She likes you, I can tell.

Yeah, we're a couple of coconuts.

My mom is jealous of that waitress.

Because she's got bigger b*obs

than my mom.

Do you like bigger b*obs?

Stay.

Everything copasetic?

Big word. Finish your fries.

I don't have to if I don't want.

You're not my father, you know.

Ever hear about starving kids in Africa?

Why? Will you send them our fries?

So, why did you rob a casino?

Because everybody else robs banks.

Nowadays, you got to be original.

If you're original, catch them off guard,

it's a piece of cake.

Cake. That's criminal talk, isn't it?

Like cherry pie on the wall.

That was a good one.

- I'm glad you liked it.

- I'd say casinos are pretty original.

- How many have you done so far?

- One.

- One?

- Yeah.

One casino?

That is really lame, if you ask me.

Well, I didn't, did I?

"Happy Birthday to you

"Happy Birthday, dear Michael"

Goddamn it!

Goddamn you, Cybil, stop this car!

Are you going to pay for this?

Where the hell is my wallet?

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness."

Thomas J. Murphy, born 1955, January 8.

Elvis' birthday. Born in Biloxi, Mississippi.

No record of a father.

Spent most of his childhood

in foster homes.

He was a medic in Vietnam.

Awarded the Purple Heart.

First arrest in 1975 when he was caught

vandalizing the gates of Graceland.

Now, why would you do that?

I could not make this sh*t up if I tried.

Then he was arrested

for attempted murder in 1988.

And again for a diamond heist in Arizona,

where he served eight years.

Released March, year of Our Lord 2000.

In 1984...

...Thomas J. Murphy filed charges

against the estate of Elvis Presley...

...for not recognizing him...

...as Elvis' biological son.

Right. Sure.

He was denounced in 1985

and he lost the case along with 75 others...

...claiming to be Elvis Presley's

illegitimate children.

The court ordered DNA testing done.

Seventy-three of the seventy-five

proved to be false outright.

F***ing cowboy.

Nice day.

Great day.

You're not going to tell me that

Murphy was one of the inconclusive two.

Buddy...

...take a look at those sideburns.

Peterson's Antique Refurbishing.

Naomi speaking.

Hi, I'm trying to reach Jay Peterson.

One moment, please.

Jay, there's a woman on the phone for you.

All right.

Jay Peterson. How can I help you?

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness."

Alarm, see?

Yeah, you're right.

Kid, this one here.

I got a name and it's not "kid."

It's Jesse James.

Move your ass, Jesse James,

and pop the hood.

Good job.

Open this door right now.

Open this door. Open this door right now!

I got you now, you little worm!

Sh*t!

- Damn it. Don't move!

- All right!

Unlock the door.

Unlock the door!

- Yes, I do.

- Tonight, 10:
00 sharp.

I'll be there with bells on!

Give me five...

...hundred thousand!

Mr. Peterson!

Mr. Peterson, I'm sorry,

I tried to announce him.

It's all right, honey. He's here now.

What can I do for you?

You are Jay Peterson, right?

Either that, or I'm wearing

someone else's underwear.

It's a joke!

I don't joke.

Well, you don't have

an appointment either.

So, what can I do for you?

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness."

I've been hearing that a lot, lately.

- Are you a hunter or something?

- Yeah.

Me, too.

That's nice.

All right, listen.

There's something you should know.

Someone just called here

with the password. She's on her way over.

Good.

So, why are you here?

I'm just here to keep things honest, Jay.

You killed this one, too?

Either you or him?

Is that a joke?

That's right, you don't do that.

Okay.

Listen up.

Things have changed.

You guys are all over the news.

This thing is messy.

So?

So, it's going to be 50 cents on the dollar,

that's what...

...things being the way they are.

No. The deal was 70.

Goddamn it, you almost hit me!

You really should have called first.

- Why is it again you didn't call?

- You ever kill one from this close, Jay?

What are you, nuts?

Probably.

F***!

Okay, it doesn't have to be 50 cents.

- You f***ed the wrong guy.

- I know, a deal is a deal.

Why don't you show me the money,

so I know you're not just jerking me off?

Hey, listen, I think we got off

on the wrong foot here.

Why don't we wait for the girl? That's fair.

Then I'll show you mine,

and then you show me yours.

- Why don't I shoot you with this arrow?

- No, please.

Show me you're playing straight with me,

all right? Open the safe.

- I can't do that!

- Open the f***ing safe.

Bathroom.

Well, make it quick. We can't pay for this.

What do you say?

Sorry, sir.

No problem, little dude.

Are you afraid, Jay?

Can't make your fingers work?

You think they felt that?

You think you ever

maybe just scared one to death?

What's with the girl?

What?

You're so f***ing ugly and she's so cute.

What's the deal?

Does the wife know about her?

Why are you doing this to me?

I'm just killing time.

Are you going to kill me?

Not till you get the safe open.

Now, that's a joke.

Open the safe.

I never killed any of them.

- What?

- The animals.

I bought them.

They're just for show.

They're to impress my friends.

I take the girl to Mexico

and my wife thinks I'm in Africa.

I'm sorry.

I'm a f***ing p*ssy, I mean...

Wow, Jay, that's a lot.

That's a lot to hold back.

Now, open the safe.

All right.

We're in business.

Let's have a drink.

Mr. Peterson?

Come on in!

We were just talking about Mexico.

And being scared to death, right, Jay?

Hi.

Are you Mr. Peterson?

In the flesh.

- You need a hand with that?

- No, I got it.

- Quite a load you got there.

- A load?

- Laundry. I get it.

- A little industry humor.

Don't you want me to give you

the password?

Just to verify that it's really me?

- If you wouldn't mind.

- Not at all.

I know how these things work.

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness."

Perfect.

You scared me there for a second.

I wasn't quite sure

that you were the right guy.

Oh, I'm the right guy, all right.

- Do you mind if I look around?

- Not at all.

And if you see something you like...

...consider it a gift.

- Thank you.

All right, Jesse, you stay here.

This one is beautiful.

That's one of my favorite pieces.

Yeah?

Where is it from?

Up my ass.

Excuse me?

That's an African piece.

Looks Egyptian to me.

You got a bathroom around here?

In the back, through the office.

Thank you.

I told you to wait in the car, Jesse.

Is that my mom?

I want to see!

That's not her.

We're going to find your mom, Jesse.

You're lying. You don't know where she is.

She's with Murphy and she's headed

to the same place we are.

No bullshit?

No bullshit.

Do you like women with large breasts?

Or women with huge breasts?

I'm going to go with huge to block.

Tell me what you make of this.

Somebody saw a '59 red Caddy

pulling out of a gas station...

...shortly before the place blows up.

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