30 Minutes or Less

You're 4 minutes late.

Pizza's free.

C'mon! You guys live two towns away.

It's pretty much impossible to get here in 30 minutes.

Exactly. That's why we ordered

from your shitty Pizza Parlour.

Ok. You guys are pretty smart.

You figured out a way to beat the system.

I'll let you go.

- Thank You!

What No Tip?

Sorry, only got the big bills.

You guys kinda remind me of me,

when i was your age, actually.

You know, Kinda like...

try to get drunk any chance I get.

You got...frige full of beers right?

Man, we don't have anything.

- Really?

- Could you get us some beer?

- Me?

Uhm..Listen..I shouldn't do this..but if you give me the money

that your mom gave you for the pizzas, which you didn't give me,

I will run out and grab you some beers.

- Dude, this is f***ing cheesies.

- But I want a tip this time.

- Okay, we have ...net $40.

- Thanks man.

- Wait, how many of em again?

- Whatever that would get us.

- Okay, I'll see you soo.

- Wait, you boys like O'Doole's right?

-Yeah, I love that sh*t!

- Totally! - You rule!

OOOkay...

Alright!

Wow, cool.

You really went for it.

- Okay, I will..uh..

- Call me

- I will, yes. Okay...take care.

Thanks again!

You've a great personality!

Hey! What the hell?

Have you just been sitting there,

watching the whole time?

Yep. Caught the whole shill. Really

classy move at the end. By the way, that kiss...

- Look, the woman is kind enought to ride me with fellatio services,

I'm not just gonna,

dart outta there, llike she is an untouchable.

- And they say, Chivalry is dead.

Here, have a beer. The alcohol should help you

wash the taste ofyourself out of your mouth.

- Thank you, sir.

- Hey, I rented some movies for us.

I got, uh Lethal Weapon...

I got uh..Lethal Weapon 2.

- I think, I'll have to pass.

I gotta be up early tommorow. I have a class to teach at 7.

- C'mon man, you're a sub.

Just call in sick, like a real teacher do.

- Dude, you know I got promoted

to full-time last month, alright.

You boughtme a laser pointer.

I know.I'm just having

trouble accepting you as "the man."

You know, cos you are YOU.

Filling kids head with a bunch of bullshit.

Laser pointing at stuff, just so you can have your summers off.

- I'm sorry, I have a career. And that i don't have time

to squeeze action movies into my schedule.

- Okay, Call Of Duty?

Fine, but you will get smoked.

- That was sick! Dwayne.

- That was f***ing awesome!

This one's gonna blow even bigger.

- You know, if you weren't such a skinny

little b*tch you coulda been in the military.

- I don't need the military, dude. I taught myself

how to do this sh*t. Went online, and looked all this up.

- Oh, I hear you. I taught myself how to

eat p*ssy. And cut my own hair.

- I taught myself, how to eat p*ssy hair.

- Dude, hey I want this one.

- Give me the Cross-bow.

Blow that sh*t up dude.

This one is mine.

Bin Laden!

This time its personal.

F*** you!

Whoah, man! It's so real!

Run b*tch!

Oh, Check this out.

- What are you doing, dude?

Look, I'm not afraid of Jason.

Look at me..

I'm f***ing Jason.

Who are you two fags f***ing?

Just..Jason Vorhese.

Afternoon, Major.

- It's been 20 years, Dwayne.

When are you finally

gonna get the courage, to ask him out?

- Phss..that's not funny.

We are business partners.

- What kind of business are you in?

- Entrever..ss

- entreaver nouss..?

- That's not a business!

You can't even pronounce it.

We're just trying to watch this movie.

About 45 minutes left and 3D tits coming.

You come in at the worst possible time.

I bought that TV set so I could watch my football,

not so you and your boy friend could jack off all over it.

- Well, then maybe you should learn

how to share the common space, better.

- Common..

The only thing common in this house is you.

- Come on Travis.

This moviesucks anyway.

- You look it, Major.

I paid for the damn cold cuts, too.

Maybe if you had a job, or a f***ing prospect,

or a clue how to get any of the above,

I'd let you eat 'em.

- You are a cold sonofabitch, dad.

- That's what it takes, boy. In the Corps,

pussies like you wore dresses to keep us entertained.

That's really f***ing disturbing!

Sh*t! Talking to me about, f***ing cold cuts.

That sonofabitch.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

He bought another new truck.

That's some high end Detail work, Dwayne.

- F*** the Major.

- Yeah, f*** him dude.

Sorry.

Very funny, but you are late.

- No, I'm 45 minutes late...

which is like...

Ten minutes early for me.

- Where the hell were you?

You live like, two blocks away.

- Yeah, I got held up.

Trying to get the perfect shirt and hat combo for you.

What do you think?

- I like it.

Very minimal wage.

- Thanks, I can't wait to quit and take the sh*t off.

- Say what you wanna say about your boss.

But the man knows how to make a good pizza.

Did you see Tom Small's Facebook Update?

You know I don't check that sh*t,

I'm off the grit.

- He came out.

- What?

Even posted a picture of him and his latin boyfriend.

Tom Small is gay??

That kid beat the hell out of me and

Chet in grammar school. Wow.

Tell me about it.

He OTPF'd me at Junior High formal.

- What the hell was that?

'Over The Pants Finger'

- That's disgusting.

- So, I've got some news...

- Even bigger news than that, Tom Small?

Cos, I don't know if I can take much more news.

- This little Corporation they call 'The Four Seasons'

has decided to finally get their sh*t together,

And accept me to their management training programme.

- Really? Wow!

Congratulations.

- That's amazing.

- Thank You.

- I just can't believe they're opening a Four-Seasons in town.

We don't even have a Radisson.

- Yeah, exactly. Which is why

I'm moving to Atlanta.

I'm gonna be working in the Special Events Department.

- In Atlanta?

You know, I know a little bit about it,

from Rap Music and It sounds like a f***ed up place.

Come on, ....???

Did you tell your brother?

- Yeah..Chet was really happy for me.

I thought You'd be happy for me too.

- I am. I am totally happy for you.

In fact, i will make you a Crunk CD or something.

I bet you have a hustler friends in Atlanta.

He treats me like a b*tch.

That's no way to treat a son.

He thinks he knows me. He doesn't f***ing knows me.

I have more ideas than, he could ever dreams of.

I have plans more bigger than his whole f***ing house.

Oh...whatever you say.

Maybe, just be quite for a while.

Forget about your dad.

Let me do my think.

- I wish I could forget about that Ass-Hole.

As is, I'm pretty much waiting for him to drop dead.

I just don't wanna mess with my inheritance.

- Really? What kind of inheritance?

- Well, when the old man left the service,

He started buying lotto tickets, the next think you know..

for ninety eight the dude hits it for ten million dollars.

You know, ever since then, he'd been burning through

it like an NBA draft picks. Bought a Winnebago..

Flat screen TV...

Its all that senseless spendings.

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